[Eros]

I'm into my double entry. But no for real I'm happy with the critique.

[Aurora]

Originally posted by Truth Teller

Loving the little rivalry. The Britney and Christina of PH7?

I'm Christina.

[Truth Teller]

Originally posted by Sam 

I'm Christina.

Smart choice, but you'll have to tolerate an ugly husband and the Bionic era

[Pecinta Mariah]

Every Breath You Take (Pecinta Mariah) - It does read as a poem and you could improve the rhythm to help this flow better but you set the mood of the song well and it's easy to get a sense of near urgency from your dramatic word choice; it's all very charged and I think that makes it engaging and easy to feel (I really like what you captured with your first two verse lines and your use of the title phrase).

I think I can be a great poet after all, lol jk

Thank you so much for your input bloomers, I really take notes from your review, the keyword I got is "Improving the Rhythm".

[Aurora]

Originally posted by Truth Teller

Smart choice, but you'll have to tolerate an ugly husband and the Bionic era

Better than K-Fed and a shaved head.

[keshaspearsxo]

the lower half of the alphabet getting shafted

[conatus]

I'm Christina. I'm braver and more experimental.

[Truth Teller]

Originally posted by Sam 

Better than K-Fed and a shaved head.

But have you seen K Fed's nudes? I'd go for it. I can rock the shaved look anyway

[Aurora]

Originally posted by conatus

I'm Christina. I'm braver and more experimental.

I already claimed Legend X, you can stay second best. You're used to that.

[Truth Teller]

Part 2

Like A Prayer (dwuw) - I think your song could benefit by being more focused. A more consistent rhyme structure throughout could only help, especially since you seem to be going for more of a traditional pop song. I do also think that your central idea could be developed further also because it doesn't feel like you're saying too much with your lyrics (although that apple line might be a little too much). The guy apparently was left by his girl but he seems very passive and it's difficult to pick up on the emotion of the song because of this. You don't need to outright say how he's feeling, but there should be more in the song to connect with

Live Your Life (Musickid203) - A couple verse lines could be smoother, lines 8 and 9 and 10 in the verse are awkwardly phrased and the second line of the chorus does not seem to be necessary. You told the story of the song with such detail (like the best country, rap, or R&B songs would do), it was easy to feel every little emotional detail. The progression of the song is incredible in the way that it builds tension and leads to your emotionally satisfying chorus. The song was powerful... you got me emotional reading it

Love The Way You Lie (theus) - I liked the overall theme of the song but some editing could help you out. Some of the ideas, like the flying line in the last line of the verse and the sword line in the chorus might be able to be used meaningfully, but don't feel effectively set up here. There were a couple words left out and a spelling mistake or two, in addition to some confusing grammar (see the constant verb tense changing in the 7th and 8th lines) and that all made the song difficult to follow and understand and gave the song a choppy feeling

Magic (Saint) - Your verse doesn't say much that hasn't been said, but your lyrics got the message across well, in a sweet way. The first two lines, especially, cut right to the point. I'm not feeling the compassion line in the chorus, it seems to be word play off of 'passion' referenced earlier but I think it detracts from the more straight forward and direct tone of the rest of the lyrics.

Nothing Compares 2 U (skwonderfactory) - I think we all know someone like the person that you made the song about and I would say you captured the feeling well in the verse. There are a couple errors and typos in the verse, nothing too big, but watch out for that. The opening line is a little vague and you could improve the meter, but I think your rhymes helped keep the verse together (although I'm not crazy about ending the verse by rhyming a word with itself). Your chorus is simple, but it's pretty fun and I could see myself singling along and I like the use of the title phrase

Rapture (swiftie13) - The first verse feels like it could use more structure whether with rhymes or with your syllable count, especially since your chorus has a structure and feels stronger because of this. I like the natural imagery in the song, which adds a nice Romantic feeling, but I do think that the song comes across as slightly anonymous and reads almost like a list at times. I think adding some extended metaphors, like your great rain metaphor, might add some urgency to the song and make it more fleshed out.

See You Again (Jezang Looz) - I like that you began and ended the verse with praying and thought that helped the verse feel complete thematically. That being said, there were a couple lines in the verse that felt too verbose (5 and 6 especially) and like you had a couple extra syllables that threw off the flow. I'm not sure if I feel the last line of the verse about God's will since the will could be different from the subject's. But, overall, and with a tighter rhythm, you have a solid song

Shout (YoungCalifornia) - You went with an ambitious concept and I have to respect that. Now, you have some great parts of a song here: I like the repetition of the should've in the opening three lines, they escalate the song for me; I like lines 9 til the end of the verse. I think your flow could improve, but the lyrics are solid and hit home here. The mid-section of the verse sags slightly; the rhyme in lines 5 and 6 feels out of place (and a little forced) for this type of song. The chorus is weaker than the verse and a rhyme scheme could help tie it together, but solid work on this song.

Smooth (highdefinition) - Parts of the song were handled really well. The opening line of your verse especially set the tone for the song well and put the subject of the song in his place right away. I do not like how the third line of the verse doesn't end more decisively, I need closure on that thought! Also, the flow of the third and fourth verse lines feels off as well. Otherwise, I loved your put downs and the excellent use of your song title though!

Somebody That I Used To Know (LoKoPaNdA) - This song is way shadier than I would have imagined it would be, but some of the shade was well done and all the dropped references to the person you were going after made your shade art pop. I enjoyed it, but do think a consistent meter and rhyme scheme (maybe in the style of the person you were writing the song about) could have helped you fully realize the song and express yourself and thoughts more effectively.

Someone Like You (Era) - Parts of the verse could be smoothed out for a tighter rhythm (line 2 and 4 in particular). Some of the phrasing in the chorus could be improved, but these are minor concerns in some great lyrics. Your pre-chorus though, hits hard.

Teenage Dream (GotSkill) - Well, you definitely have one of the tightest verses. I like your spin on the teenage dream lyric and where you took the song as a whole. The only major criticism I have is that some of the lyrics feel a little hard to believe. The song seems to be more gritty, yet reflective, in nature, but some of the language, especially the larger words in the chorus, come off as too formal and showy to really give a visceral punch.

The First Night (inuborg) - You know, I wasn't feeling all the references at first, but then I went over the lyrics a couple times and had a pretty good laugh. It does come across as a little disjointed at times and the phrasing in the second and third lines of the chorus is hard to follow; but it's a fun song! A bit of a wildcard entry for sure, but I like that you can be a joker.

The Monster (Nait Phoenix) - I liked it! The chorus is catchy and it really worked with the title and the way the pre-chorus set it up was monstrously good! The song felt fully fleshed out and I especially loved the way you go from second person in the verse to "we" in the pre-chorus that almost made the song seem like an internal dialogue. Great song

Time After Time (bobbleheadroger) - I like the urgency in the first verse and thought it was a strong start to the song, but the second verse isn't as focused as the first and I wish you stuck with the space theme to give your song some more flavor! I actually think the chorus could use a rhyme scheme and be more effective and the second and first parts of the chorus seem like they could be switched around and be more effective.

Together Again (lovesong) - I like how you really don't seem to waste any words in your song. Every word seems to have its purpose and feels, for the most part, carefully chosen. I say "for the most part" because you have a simple style (I don't mean not in a bad way. Your writing here is accessible and easy to understand while still being meaningful) and the "inversion" lyric, which I get, seems to disrupt the tone. I love the first part of the chorus and I do think that your cross lyric in the verse is extremely clever.

Touch My Body (posh) - The pre-chorus is one of the campy-est things ever. The way I laughed through reading the whole thing and yet could hear the whole thing in my head as a sleazy electro-pop song. Real talk: I liked the rhyming and the word play on the first words of the pre-chorus, but because they weren't the same amount of syllables, I did feel like the flow got disrupted just a little bit in a song that otherwise touched on greatness

Try Again (moijejoue) - You know, I loved your word choices here. A lot of the words were very emotionally charged and I thought that fit the frantic feeling of the song. I also liked the little details that you added that made the song feel real. The use of the title phrase doesn't seem to fit too well grammatically, but I did like your song a lot.

Waterfalls (KillingYourCareer) - I do like the overall story your lyrics tell and the message behind them as well as the consistent structure. I would be careful with some of your phrasing though, there were a couple lines I had to go over a couple times; the way that lines 6-8 of the verse are set up almost makes it seem like the are saying the opposite of what you want to.

Wrecking Ball (keshaspearsxo) - I do like the mood that you set here, a person is hung up on his love interest so much so that he's just about at his love's mercy, but I don't feel it's as focused as it could be. The paradise line does feel a little out of place also, since it doesn't follow the structure of the rest of your verse

[Aurora]

Originally posted by Truth Teller

But have you seen K Fed's nudes? I'd go for it. I can rock the shaved look anyway

No, and I don't plan on looking that up.

[Lukey]

Originally posted by Sam 

I'm Christina.

Yessss serve me your Lotus era

[conatus]

Originally posted by Sam 

I already claimed Legend X, you can stay second best. You're used to that.

You may be on top right now, but in the long run...

[Tymps.]

fyi I didn't do reviews so :[

[Temporal]

Originally posted by Sam 

I already claimed Legend X, you can stay second best. You're used to that.

Ruthles

[Obsession]

Bad (Obsession) - The use of "Bad" in the song and in the last line of the chorus does feel forced somewhat since a lot of your language is more showy and literary. A couple other rhymes here feel slightly forced or predictable (the rhymes in lines 3 and 4 of the chorus and lines 5 and 6 of the chorus). That being said, you took the song in an interesting direction and I like how the questions are used to show some bitterness and frustration toward the former love and I loved the word play with the hands in the 5th line of the chorus. Good hand job!

How did you know all the lines I struggled with? Psychic teas.

[Lukey]

Catch My Breath

[Nait Phoenix]

[keshaspearsxo]

I'm always left confused by these comments I'm getting...

[Aurora]

The real kii is that Connor considers himself more experimental when I've written a song about getting over a crush, an urban bop, new love, saying goodbye to a fling, getting out of a bad relationship, being a wandering lion in the desert, a sex bop, a song about a Norse mythological tree, remembering when two people first met, trying to find my way and my future, a song about never giving up and being forever known, an empowering rap track, a song about standing up for yourself and now a song about trying to overcome depression.

Meanwhile Connor has written two songs about God/heaven/praying or whatever.