[cloudinthesky]

Originally posted by MattH94

Then point me in their damn direction because I've been looking for over a year and have just been rejected by people who want to go sleep around.......

This.

Originally posted by I Am Music

When I was dating I couldn't find a guy who wanted to actually get to know me. I would go on pretty successful dates and then they say "I don't think you're a fit" like what?.

We went out one time and it was great how do you know I am a fit or not without going out a few times?
Anyone else have this problem in the gay dating world? I feel like we put all our eggs in one basket for a single date.

Yes. I've been led on by so many guys who I thought were interested in me after having a very successful date, then they never talk to me after. I think it has a lot to do with a guy's fear of finding something serious, or rather the fear of "settling" when there could be someone better for them out there. The problem is, how would you know you're "settling" for me when we've only been on one date (which we both admit we really enjoyed)? like what kind of ****ed up logic?

[BadMonster]

Originally posted by getback

you should tell your therapist tho
in my case, it's mostly because I spend most of my time focusing on study and planning my future career paths
I'm shy, and because of everything people have listed above, I couldn't fit myself into the majority of superficial gay "community" I'd rather spend my spare time on reading books about having a good interview than going to clubs and bars where're full of gay guys just want to get laid

I'd never tell a therapist though, imagine he hates gays and purposely mind****s you so you get even more troubles

[bobbleheadroger]

I think it's all in people's minds.

I'm in a respectful relationship for 5 years now, with my top boyfriend, we get along fine, we have an amazing life.
On the other hand, I see other tops or bottoms nymphing their ways through life like it's the best thing to do.
I'm overly sensitive, my boyfriend is overly sensitive and we sometimes get "****ed" by other people for being that way.

There are good people and bad people in the gay community. It's everywhere. You just wait, you will find that boy who fits you like a glove and loves you the way you are. Stay strong love.

[LoveLiveMusic]

For me its how the gp reacts to seeing two men expressing affection in public, holding hands, kissing (and I mean a small peck not a make out session).

[getback]

Originally posted by BadMonster

I'd never tell a therapist though, imagine he hates gays and purposely mind****s you so you get even more troubles

I'm really surprised at the amount of people going to therapy Like, almost everyone I know in the US go to therapy
I don't really trust those therapist They don't seem to solve my problems - or maybe it's just because I've only seen bad therapist

[Sláy]

Originally posted by Reeawna

Knowing who to tell and who to hide from.

This. It's hard.

[Sláy]

Originally posted by getback

I'm really surprised at the amount of people going to therapy Like, almost everyone I know in the US go to therapy
I don't really trust those therapist They don't seem to solve my problems - or maybe it's just because I've only seen bad therapist

They will. But most of the issues stem from your parents believe it or not.

[SupahBass05]

It's probably been mentioned but finding guys who aren't all about sex.

[Tantei]

Great thread..very interesting posts
__

For me the hardest thing about being gay is the fact that you basically have to play a role 24/7 in order not to be outed. You have to act "straight" in order not to differ from the majority and to be accepted in society. It's also kinda hurtful to experience homophobia within your circle of friends or your family..I mean the homophobia is not directly addressed to me but nevertheless it hurts...and you just always feel like you don't belong. Also the fact that you can't have a relationship (not even talking about sex) and feel alone.
Still I kind of appreciate the struggle you have to face as a young homosexual. You learn to reflect on your life and become way more tolerant/mature IMO...I think that the depressions and sad years only make you stronger and you'll be a much better and more sophisticated person in the end. I've been in the closet for 5 years now and I moving to another city next year and going start a new life...I'll be financially independent and live as a open gay guy. Of course I'm scared...but I've worked hard for this and I actually can't wait.

Had to get this off my chest.

[LilyAllen]

Originally posted by ForeverNow90

Me tbh

I think the hardest thing for me is being bi and getting constant back lash from the LGBT community. People here don't believe bisexuality exists. Others believe its a front because I'm still "in the closet".

this. super annoying. Like, why do I have any reason to lie?

[tittieslap]

The double standards,like being looked down upon for expressing my sexuality while straight people are allowed to and are even praised for it.

[getback]

Originally posted by Tantei

Great thread..very interesting posts
__

For me the hardest thing about being gay is the fact that you basically have to play a role 24/7 in order not to be outed. You have to act "straight" in order not to differ from the majority and to be accepted in society. It's also kinda hurtful to experience homophobia within your circle of friends or your family..I mean the homophobia is not directly addressed to me but nevertheless it hurts...and you just always feel like you don't belong. Also the fact that you can't have a relationship (not even talking about sex) and feel alone.
Still I kind of appreciate the struggle you have to face as a young homosexual. You learn to reflect on your life and become way more tolerant/mature IMO...I think that the depressions and sad years only make you stronger and you'll be a much better and more sophisticated person in the end. I've been in the closet for 5 years now and I moving to another city next year and going start a new life...I'll be financially independent and live as a open gay guy. Of course I'm scared...but I've worked hard for this and I actually can't wait.

Had to get this off my chest.

true tea
and congratulations on your new life sis

[Sooyoung]

The ignorance regarding bisexuality.

I am attracted to both males and females, although with females, I am particularly nervous and have difficulty talking to them as soon as the status of a relationship elevates from friendship. With that in mind, I have been in more relationships with guys and am relatively open about it but because of that, girls see me as either a gay who is easing the transition of coming to terms with my alleged homosexuality or damaged goods.

I will end up coming out within the next year or so anyway and I might as well just come out as a homosexual.

[Arking]

Dealing with the replicated racism, sexism and overall emotional damage and internalized hate within the gay community itself.

[tittieslap]

Originally posted by Arking

Dealing with the replicated racism, sexism and overall emotional damage and internalized hate within the gay community itself.

This. I also hate the use of the word "*f aggo t" in the community,like it's a word that gays can throw around to others who are less than them in some way.

[Sláy]

Originally posted by Sooyoung

The ignorance regarding bisexuality.

I am attracted to both males and females, although with females, I am particularly nervous and have difficulty talking to them as soon as the status of a relationship elevates from friendship. With that in mind, I have been in more relationships with guys and am relatively open about it but because of that, girls see me as either a gay who is easing the transition of coming to terms with my alleged homosexuality or damaged goods.

I will end up coming out within the next year or so anyway and I might as well just come out as a homosexual.

I'm the same.

[Ressti]

I'm not gay, but I just wanna say something. It must be REALLY hard for gays in (most of) Africa and the middle east. I can't even imagine. You basically live a condemned life. Central Africa is okay with same-sex coupling it seems, they just can't get married.

[Sláy]

Originally posted by Ressti

I'm not gay, but I just wanna say something. It must be REALLY hard for gays in (most of) Africa and the middle east. I can't even imagine. You basically live a condemned life. Central Africa is okay with same-sex coupling it seems, they just can't get married.

Yeah, times are HARD there.

[I Am Music]

Originally posted by cloudinthesky

Yes. I've been led on by so many guys who I thought were interested in me after having a very successful date, then they never talk to me after. I think it has a lot to do with a guy's fear of finding something serious, or rather the fear of "settling" when there could be someone better for them out there. The problem is, how would you know you're "settling" for me when we've only been on one date (which we both admit we really enjoyed)? like what kind of ****ed up logic?

I'm over trying to figure people out its too exhausting one minute they're here the next they're not.
Its whatever.

[Sláy]

Originally posted by I Am Music

I'm over trying to figure people out its too exhausting one minute they're here the next they're not.
Its whatever.

+1

You're either here or you're not. But if you're not you betta stay gone