Yeah, when I was in high school. I felt ugly, I never had boyfriend or a girlfriend, I had no friends, I was sometimes bullied, I was afraid to tell the world I was gay. I thought about it a lot, I really wanted to die but I never actually tried.
I'm glad I didn't cause now things have changed, I feel good in my skin, have a lot of friends, I've been in love, my family has been extremly lovely towards my sexuality so yeah, it gets better, no one here should even think about suicide, really, life just has some ups and downs.
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Originally posted by accelgors
who wants a ridiculously personal and depressing story? probably nobody, but here i go!
my junior year of high school (when i was 16) was definitely the worst part of my life. my bipolar disorder was kicking in and i was unmedicated because we couldn't find a psychiatrist that worked for me until around when i turned 17, and i was in an abusive relationship, and i was having serious trouble in school for the first time in my life and almost failed one of my classes. i only had like 2 close friends and neither of them lived near me at the time (i went to a high school that was far away from my house, so they were about a 30 minute drive away), and i hadn't told my family about any of this so they didn't help because they had no idea about it.
i was a total disaster. that summer was the first and only time i've actually had a plan to commit suicide. i had basically a mental breakdown and i was looking up what the best ways were to die without creating too much of a horrifying scene for whoever found me. the only reason i made it out was because my closest friend (and future boyfriend actually) called me right as i was about to do it.
that's the only time i've ever thought about it seriously enough to act on it. other times i had felt like dying, but not taking the initiative to do it myself.
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That's so sad, I'm glad it didn't happen and you are ok now.
