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Poll: Physical Attraction vs. Emotional Limerence
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View Poll Results: Which comes first?
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Emotional Limerence
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15 |
68.18% |
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Physical Attraction
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7 |
31.82% |
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 3,540
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Physical Attraction vs. Emotional Limerence
Which one comes first for you: physical or emotional attraction to someone?
Which is most important for you?
When you like someone, which one do you feel first?
When deciding how much you like someone, which makes the deciding factor?
For those who don't know what limerence is, it's basically the crucial aspect of falling in love, its not actually love itself. For example, limerence can involve:
- thinking about someone all the time
- placing their needs first over your own
- pulse quickening, heart hammering, butterflies in your stomach
- feeling shy and awkward around the person you like
- emotional empathy towards the person, feelings of jealousy/possessiveness, etc.
Most people would say first you feel physically attracted to someone and then you like them, but I disagree. I find that usually I like someone first on an emotional level and THEN I start to find them physically attractive. If it's the other way around, it's usually just short-term lust not long-term attraction and I lose interest very quick. But I often find myself liking those who aren't "my type" because I feel connected to them and like their personality, and THEN I kind of reconfigure my brain to find them physically attractive, and those types of relationships tend to last longer.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 7,772
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Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 15,562
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 4,966
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Physically for me, I dont know peoples personalities from the get go, I know what they look like first. Emotional connection happens over time.
The most important to me is honestly the mix of both probably leaning more to physical, but I've never liked anyone emotionally like that so 
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Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 23,412
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This physical attraction, it's a chemical reaction.
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Member Since: 9/3/2011
Posts: 22,014
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I mean... if I find someone physically attractive, I know that the moment I look at them. It takes a while for me to be emotionally attracted to someone. I have to be around them, talk to them, etc. I've only been emotionally attracted to maybe 3 people so it's not really easy.
On the other hand, two of the three people I do feel emotional attraction towards aren't conventionally physically attractive so maybe emotional "limerence" does come first 
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Member Since: 8/1/2012
Posts: 18,271
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Quote:
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Which one comes first for you: physical or emotional attraction to someone?
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Physical.
Quote:
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Which is most important for you?
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Emotional.
Quote:
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When you like someone, which one do you feel first?
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Physical.
Quote:
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When deciding how much you like someone, which makes the deciding factor?
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Emotional.
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Member Since: 2/5/2014
Posts: 29,111
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Quote:
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Most people would say first you feel physically attracted to someone and then you like them, but I disagree. I find that usually I like someone first on an emotional level and THEN I start to find them physically attractive. If it's the other way around, it's usually just short-term lust not long-term attraction and I lose interest very quick. But I often find myself like those who aren't "my type" because I feel connected to them and like their personality, and those tend to last longer.
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This is me pretty much.
I seem to connect with a person on the emotional level more than anything. If a person has a good personality or one I admire, they become much more attractive to me than somebody that may be conventionally much more attractive. I can't help it, that's just how I roll I guess.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 3,540
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Quote:
Originally posted by Haus
I mean... if I find someone physically attractive, I know that the moment I look at them. It takes a while for me to be emotionally attracted to someone. I have to be around them, talk to them, etc. I've only been emotionally attracted to maybe 3 people so it's not really easy.
On the other hand, two of the three people I do feel emotional attraction towards aren't conventionally physically attractive so maybe emotional "limerence" does come first |
It's can always work the opposite.
Like, I did not find my boss physically attractive at first, but I liked him so much that I started to feel a connection to him, which then led to emotional limerence and from that I got a crush on him, and only after then did I say "Hang on, this guy is hot as hell, yeah I could totally get with that, he is a looker for sure." and that's when I found him physically attractive.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 57,339
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Quote:
Originally posted by A Little Unruly
Physical.
Emotional.
Physical.
Emotional.
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This!
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 58,053
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physical ofc
emotional will make me stay or go
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 8,187
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Quote:
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Which one comes first for you: physical or emotional attraction to someone?
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Emotional
Quote:
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Which is most important for you?
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Emotional
Quote:
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When you like someone, which one do you feel first?
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Emotional
Quote:
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When deciding how much you like someone, which makes the deciding factor?
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Physical
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 58,053
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Which one comes first for you: physical or emotional attraction to someone?
Physical.
Which is most important for you?
Emotional.
When you like someone, which one do you feel first?
Physical.
When deciding how much you like someone, which makes the deciding factor?
emotional
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 59,202
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Quote:
Originally posted by A Little Unruly
Physical.
Emotional.
Physical.
Emotional.
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This.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 3,540
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 5,639
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Which one comes first for you: physical or emotional attraction to someone?
Physical most of the time.
Which is most important for you?
Emotional
When you like someone, which one do you feel first?
Usually physical, sometimes though I love someones personality and then over time it makes them more physically attractive to me.
When deciding how much you like someone, which makes the deciding factor?
Emotional 100%
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Member Since: 9/4/2011
Posts: 29,960
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Which one comes first for you: physical or emotional attraction to someone?
Physical
Which is most important for you?
Both equally important. Physical attraction sparks the fire and limerence fans the flames, keeps it going.
When you like someone, which one do you feel first?
Physical
When deciding how much you like someone, which makes the deciding factor?
Limerence
I also feel that when I'm emotionally attached to someone, they become more physically attractive than they were before.
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Member Since: 11/26/2010
Posts: 14,197
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 21,143
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Quote:
Originally posted by Flawfree
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That was actually a nice read, thank you! 
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