Imma make you beg for it. I see you’re buying into the Beg For It trend going on around the pop scene recently. Still better than copying Trashlor () so I don’t mind too much. Have you heard Get On Your Knees yet? Because from the sound of this it really seems like it. That was really the only drawback of your entry this week was the overuse of clichés. In addition to that one there were lines like “breathe you in” and “bring me to my knees” that are pretty overused in pop lately. There were some really good lines, though, like “speed It up/like a rodeo” and the title itself which I thought was really clever.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Is this a sequel to Champagne Kisses? I liked this entry a lot except for the jungle cat. With the "now!" and "out!" in the post-chorus I was hoping for a "pow!" I think this has a strong premise.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
JUNGLE CAT NOISES Please don't Exclamation marks, too? I really like your song title, but I don't know if you did it justice. This felt too...radio-friendly for the challenge. I know that's basically your style, but it just brought it down for me this round, which is odd since any other time, I really appreciate the radio-friendly aspect of your lyrics.
ausdaniel - Heartless Nightmare
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
I got into this in about the second line . The rhythm of this is impeccable. The whole song flows so well. I would never expect this from you and honestly I was smiling the whole time. I could really get into this if it was a real song. The bridge was so strong and exuded power so well. Great job, this is my favorite song from you in weeks
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
This felt kind of inauthentic to me. The lyrics were too general and lacked the specificity of a genuine hate song. My favorite part is the chorus.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
Oh...man, those paranthesis, the swearing, the caps...damn. Just...damn. Well, swearing is a personal peeve of mine, so I can let that go, but the paranthesis where it seems you're making ad libs...the screaming at the end...I just did not like that. Other than these things, I guess you did the challenge? It's just a meh song to me.
Truth Teller - Palm Beach Synesthesia
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
This was a really mixed song from you. I love the idea behind it and there were still some pretty strong lines here. But there were also some things I didn’t really like. There were some errors that distracted from the flow of the song (crossing our fingers the chase is over). And in the chorus it felt redundant to say, “sun is coming up” right after a line that mentioned sun rays. And of course it wasn’t a requirement, but I would’ve loved to have seen your actual title used in the lyrics.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
This song has some beautiful imagery. It also reminds me a lot of Lana's West Coast at times ("I can see..."). The 1st verse is repetitive and felt a little flat to me. I love the bridge until "dive to our fate," which feels forced
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
I love this title, and I don't know why. The first prechorus Help. I like my hair, Truth Teller, please don't snatch me bald. You really excelled at this challenge, in my opinion!
EuphorianSea - Afghan Crucifix
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
It was kind of hard to get over the weird structure of the first verse with 7 lines. I like the imagery you set up, however, and I love the line about a crown of thorns smothered in a field of roses. I like these types of songs because I grew up in a very religious environment and I kinda love songs that use sacrilegious metaphors like you did. Even so, I wasn’t completely in love with this and a lot of lines felt forced. You really stepped up your game the past few weeks but this pales in comparison.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Once again, I feel like you had great language here and I liked the premise, but the rhythm feels messy. I hate to make songwriting sound so structured, but maybe next week actually count syllables to see how your lines measure up, because a long stray line throws off the rhythm for the reader and makes it feel clunky. Good work on the words though.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
You know the **** what? I'm tired of seeing brilliant one-liners dragged down by lyrics that seem to be filler in comparison. I really liked the matador line, but that's it. I don't know how much you are to blame as compared to the title, but like, it's honestly so frustrating to see you have these strokes of brilliance overshadowed all the time.
BlueM - Swarvoski Indulgence
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
This was definitely your weakest entry in a long time. A lot of the rhymes were forced and a lot of lines really didn’t offer much to the song. The strong lines were too far and few to redeem this (such as “easy tearing up a withered rose”), and I really hate saying that. I know you’ve wanted to show your darker side for a while now, but this isn’t how you should’ve showed it.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
I like the premise of the song, but most of the lyrics didn't work for me. Sorry. A lot of the lines feel stilted and the language was very mundane too much of the time.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
One of his thots? I hope that's not what you meant, but I can't help but read it like that. I do really like how you used the title, though; yours was really odd and hard to use, but you pulled it off well! Also, the plot twist. Only thing I can really say about this is some lines felt really long, but I do not know the melody you've planned in your head, so I can't really critique that I guess.
MattyTacos - Scarlet Bitch
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
You really embodied Lana this round, but I think you’re also starting to develop a style of your own. I could see some resemblances from your entry this week. Out of everyone left here I think you were off our radar more than anyone, but you could possibly prove to be the biggest dark horse out of all f you keep this up. I love the word play in the chorus and the imagery of “echoes scream from the black and white tv screen”. I think you’re getting second 10 of the competition.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
This was an excellent Lana imitation song. I stan for Susie who lives downtown now. You keep getting better each week.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
I feel like this may have been hard for you, which if that's the case, I can't blame you since I would struggle really hard on this. This entry just felt clunky to me, I don't know. I definitely feel that you've done better.
Prometheus. - Bourbon Romance
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
Vocabulary chanteuse. I had to look up both Banyan and fanion, and that was just the first stanza. This was really tight and had some really good lines, which just made the few bad lines stand out even more. “Let the alcohol hit you like a dark horse” seemed completely out of place and was one of the weaker lines here. I did like the setting you chose for this song and the story you created out of it, though.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
The first verse was very unnatural. Song sounds like a Lana imitation and that works in some places (chorus is cool, 2nd verse) but in other places rhymes feel forced and the bridge is super flat.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
Please don't plagairize Lana Del Rey's songs before she's even written them again.
Element - Cherry Asphyxiation
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
“I’ve never been addicted
To anything before
But the way you wear that sweater
Has got me craving more”
That should be the first verse, but I guess yours is OK too. I was a bit conflicted in your chorus because it sounds more like you’re drowning or dying when this is supposed to be more of a dark love song. That being said you had a cool concept and the verses correlated to the chorus stronger than almost anyone else this week.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Thought "It's getting tighter" was awkward. Liked the verses.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
I'm going to tell you right now what bothered me about this entry - you did it too well, in my opinion. I know this challenge was just to use a Lana Del Rey title generator and write a song based on it, not to write a Lana Del Rey song, but I couldn't NOT read it in Lana Del Rey's sleep-inducing voice, and the whole dying for love thing is right up Lana's alley. I mean, Lana is not even close to a favorite artist of mine, and I don't typically like her lyrics, but for this challenge, you KILLED it.
no but really
Sam Jay -- Chloroform Kisses
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
Imma make you beg for it. I see you’re buying into the Beg For It trend going on around the pop scene recently. Still better than copying Trashlor () so I don’t mind too much. Have you heard Get On Your Knees yet? Because from the sound of this it really seems like it. That was really the only drawback of your entry this week was the overuse of clichés. In addition to that one there were lines like “breathe you in” and “bring me to my knees” that are pretty overused in pop lately. There were some really good lines, though, like “speed It up/like a rodeo” and the title itself which I thought was really clever.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Is this a sequel to Champagne Kisses? I liked this entry a lot except for the jungle cat. With the "now!" and "out!" in the post-chorus I was hoping for a "pow!" I think this has a strong premise.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
JUNGLE CAT NOISES Please don't Exclamation marks, too? I really like your song title, but I don't know if you did it justice. This felt too...radio-friendly for the challenge. I know that's basically your style, but it just brought it down for me this round, which is odd since any other time, I really appreciate the radio-friendly aspect of your lyrics.
ausdaniel -- Heartless Nightmare
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
I got into this in about the second line . The rhythm of this is impeccable. The whole song flows so well. I would never expect this from you and honestly I was smiling the whole time. I could really get into this if it was a real song. The bridge was so strong and exuded power so well. Great job, this is my favorite song from you in weeks
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
This felt kind of inauthentic to me. The lyrics were too general and lacked the specificity of a genuine hate song. My favorite part is the chorus.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
Oh...man, those paranthesis, the swearing, the caps...damn. Just...damn. Well, swearing is a personal peeve of mine, so I can let that go, but the paranthesis where it seems you're making ad libs...the screaming at the end...I just did not like that. Other than these things, I guess you did the challenge? It's just a meh song to me.
Truth Teller -- Palm Beach Synesthesia
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
This was a really mixed song from you. I love the idea behind it and there were still some pretty strong lines here. But there were also some things I didn’t really like. There were some errors that distracted from the flow of the song (crossing our fingers the chase is over). And in the chorus it felt redundant to say, “sun is coming up” right after a line that mentioned sun rays. And of course it wasn’t a requirement, but I would’ve loved to have seen your actual title used in the lyrics.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
This song has some beautiful imagery. It also reminds me a lot of Lana's West Coast at times ("I can see..."). The 1st verse is repetitive and felt a little flat to me. I love the bridge until "dive to our fate," which feels forced
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
I love this title, and I don't know why. The first prechorus Help. I like my hair, Truth Teller, please don't snatch me bald. You really excelled at this challenge, in my opinion!
EuphorianSea -- Afghan Crucifix
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
It was kind of hard to get over the weird structure of the first verse with 7 lines. I like the imagery you set up, however, and I love the line about a crown of thorns smothered in a field of roses. I like these types of songs because I grew up in a very religious environment and I kinda love songs that use sacrilegious metaphors like you did. Even so, I wasn’t completely in love with this and a lot of lines felt forced. You really stepped up your game the past few weeks but this pales in comparison.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Once again, I feel like you had great language here and I liked the premise, but the rhythm feels messy. I hate to make songwriting sound so structured, but maybe next week actually count syllables to see how your lines measure up, because a long stray line throws off the rhythm for the reader and makes it feel clunky. Good work on the words though.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
You know the **** what? I'm tired of seeing brilliant one-liners dragged down by lyrics that seem to be filler in comparison. I really liked the matador line, but that's it. I don't know how much you are to blame as compared to the title, but like, it's honestly so frustrating to see you have these strokes of brilliance overshadowed all the time.
BlueM -- Swarvoski Indulgence
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
This was definitely your weakest entry in a long time. A lot of the rhymes were forced and a lot of lines really didn’t offer much to the song. The strong lines were too far and few to redeem this (such as “easy tearing up a withered rose”), and I really hate saying that. I know you’ve wanted to show your darker side for a while now, but this isn’t how you should’ve showed it.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
I like the premise of the song, but most of the lyrics didn't work for me. Sorry. A lot of the lines feel stilted and the language was very mundane too much of the time.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
One of his thots? I hope that's not what you meant, but I can't help but read it like that. I do really like how you used the title, though; yours was really odd and hard to use, but you pulled it off well! Also, the plot twist. Only thing I can really say about this is some lines felt really long, but I do not know the melody you've planned in your head, so I can't really critique that I guess.
MattyTacos -- Scarlet Bitch
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
You really embodied Lana this round, but I think you’re also starting to develop a style of your own. I could see some resemblances from your entry this week. Out of everyone left here I think you were off our radar more than anyone, but you could possibly prove to be the biggest dark horse out of all f you keep this up. I love the word play in the chorus and the imagery of “echoes scream from the black and white tv screen”. I think you’re getting second 10 of the competition.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
This was an excellent Lana imitation song. I stan for Susie who lives downtown now. You keep getting better each week.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
I feel like this may have been hard for you, which if that's the case, I can't blame you since I would struggle really hard on this. This entry just felt clunky to me, I don't know. I definitely feel that you've done better.
Prometheus. -- Bourbon Romance
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
Vocabulary chanteuse. I had to look up both Banyan and fanion, and that was just the first stanza. This was really tight and had some really good lines, which just made the few bad lines stand out even more. “Let the alcohol hit you like a dark horse” seemed completely out of place and was one of the weaker lines here. I did like the setting you chose for this song and the story you created out of it, though.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
The first verse was very unnatural. Song sounds like a Lana imitation and that works in some places (chorus is cool, 2nd verse) but in other places rhymes feel forced and the bridge is super flat.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
Please don't plagairize Lana Del Rey's songs before she's even written them again.
Element -- Cherry Asphyxiation
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
“I’ve never been addicted
To anything before
But the way you wear that sweater
Has got me craving more”
That should be the first verse, but I guess yours is OK too. I was a bit conflicted in your chorus because it sounds more like you’re drowning or dying when this is supposed to be more of a dark love song. That being said you had a cool concept and the verses correlated to the chorus stronger than almost anyone else this week.
Quote:
Originally posted by feelslikeadream
Thought "It's getting tighter" was awkward. Liked the verses.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
I'm going to tell you right now what bothered me about this entry - you did it too well, in my opinion. I know this challenge was just to use a Lana Del Rey title generator and write a song based on it, not to write a Lana Del Rey song, but I couldn't NOT read it in Lana Del Rey's sleep-inducing voice, and the whole dying for love thing is right up Lana's alley. I mean, Lana is not even close to a favorite artist of mine, and I don't typically like her lyrics, but for this challenge, you KILLED it.
I'm glad he'll at least get some success, since not a lot of artists from singing shows do well & get dropped by their label right afterwards. Woo, let's not get our hopes up but that would be nice.
The Voice unfortunately doesn't have a great track record for post-show commercial success, but hopefully Chris can break that streak!
I'm glad he'll at least get some success, since not a lot of artists from singing shows do well & get dropped by their label right afterwards. Woo, let's not get our hopes up but that would be nice.
Yeah, some talent show acts don't do well. Some judges don't either
JUSTICE FOR
Paula Abdul
Gwen Stefani
Mariah Carey
Shakira
Nicole Scherzinger
Britney Spears
my fave
Usher
Danii Minogue
Jessie J
Delta Goodrem
I'm going to tell you right now what bothered me about this entry - you did it too well, in my opinion. I know this challenge was just to use a Lana Del Rey title generator and write a song based on it, not to write a Lana Del Rey song, but I couldn't NOT read it in Lana Del Rey's sleep-inducing voice, and the whole dying for love thing is right up Lana's alley. I mean, Lana is not even close to a favorite artist of mine, and I don't typically like her lyrics, but for this challenge, you KILLED it.
This comment just made my night Thank you!
The irony, however, is that the melody is very upbeat and catchy in my head.
“I’ve never been addicted
To anything before
But the way you wear that sweater
Has got me craving more”
That should be the first verse, but I guess yours is OK too.
I'm laughing so hard right now. Omg you are thirsty as ****
Quote:
I was a bit conflicted in your chorus because it sounds more like you’re drowning or dying when this is supposed to be more of a dark love song. That being said you had a cool concept and the verses correlated to the chorus stronger than almost anyone else this week.
I feel like if you heard me sing the song () it would make more sense as to the tone... It's like an upbeat, pop-rock song with a darker theme. The suffocation of sugar and candy and sex.
Thank you for that compliment though! I am happy to hear that
Quote:
Thought "It's getting tighter" was awkward. Liked the verses.
Thank you! The "tighter" was a reference to the bridge in Katy Perry's "Dressin' Up".
Based on the comments, it's hard to tell if I underperformed or not, cause they're mostly mixed for most contestants. Huga hopefully saved me.
FUN FACT : Huga was the only one who gave Venice (and apparently this one) really good scores. Both Venice and this week's song are written about the same person and they're the only 2 songs I've ever written about him
Okay, so it looks like I might get a great score from Gotskill, a mediocre score from Fefe, and a crap score from Huga!! I really don't mean to be rude, but I can never seem to get all the judges to like an entry, i always get one that'll like it, and at least one that doesn't I really don't know what to do....
And I know that it is not a personal thing at all!! And I know you're trying to help us improve, but yeah...I really don't know how to feel Sorry, just expressing my opinion and don't mean to hurt anyone.
Sam Jay - Chloroform Kisses
) so I don’t mind too much. Have you heard Get On Your Knees yet? Because from the sound of this it really seems like it. That was really the only drawback of your entry this week was the overuse of clichés. In addition to that one there were lines like “breathe you in” and “bring me to my knees” that are pretty overused in pop lately. There were some really good lines, though, like “speed It up/like a rodeo” and the title itself which I thought was really clever.
Please don't 
Exclamation marks, too? 
I really like your song title, but I don't know if you did it justice. This felt too...radio-friendly for the challenge. I know that's basically your style, but it just brought it down for me this round, which is odd since any other time, I really appreciate the radio-friendly aspect of your lyrics.
. The rhythm of this is impeccable. The whole song flows so well. I would never expect this from you and honestly I was smiling the whole time. I could really get into this if it was a real song. The bridge was so strong and exuded power so well. Great job, this is my favorite song from you in weeks 
The first prechorus 
Only thing I can really say about this is some lines felt really long, but I do not know the melody you've planned in your head, so I can't really critique that I guess. 
Woo, let's not get our hopes up but that would be nice. 
Thank you!
I really don't know what to do....
Sorry, just expressing my opinion and don't mean to hurt anyone.