Originally posted by Rihinvention

1. When did you come out? Was it hard? Who accepted/rejected you?

When I was 18 to my friends. We were in a gay club in Sydney called 'Stonewall' because it's really easy to get ***** in gay clubs and one of our friends was gay. Anyway this massive bodybuilder-type guy was following me around and we kept making eye contact. I was really drunk and he started talking to my friends and asking if I was gay and they said no. Anyway I kept trying to break him up from my friends, and when I thought I'd lost them, he and I started making out, like fully going at it, and they were all watching I was so drunk. Then everyone started talking and eventually everyone started finding out.

I was 19 when I told my brother. I cried, lots. I was staying at his house for the night and I'd told his wife like a month before and she said "I think we need to organise a night for you to tell Toddy." I was 20 when I told both my sisters and my parents. I cried. Lots. By this stage it was really obvious to them and they were expecting it. But I went out on a Friday night and had the biggest bender of my life. I didn't come home until late on the Saturday night and when my mum picked me up from the station she was furious like "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! WHAT WERE YOU DOING!?" and I didn't know what to say or do so I just ended up bursting into tears and told her I was gay. Then we went and bought some wine and I came home and told Dad. Again, it was really obvious by this stage (because I'd just moved back home after living in Sydney's gay district for a year with two big muscley guys in their late 20s who my parents had never met, and I worked at the gayest gym in the city while I lived there) but even though it was obvious, I still didn't want to come out to them for some reason.

It was hard but so worth it. Everyone always talks about it's a weight off your shoulders and it's so true. You feel completely liberated and free. No one rejected me.

2. What's the worst thing that's ever happened to you for being gay?

Probably just the high school bullying. I didn't have many male friends and I didn't play sports. I wasn't into the gym like I am now so I had really skinny arms and was kind of chubby around my torso and legs. I remember one day walking into one of the computer rooms for Economics and everyone had programmed their Macs to do that robotic-computer voice thing that you can do with Macs before you press login. Anyway, we had a substitute teacher, this old man who couldn't really control the class and English wasn't his first language. He had an accent. Basically as soon as I walked into the class, all the guys in my class had programmed their computers to say "Josh. Stevenson. Is. A. Poofta. And. Is. Going. To. Die. Of. AIDS." as soon as I walked into the classroom. It was like 20 computers and they all pressed 'Enter' at the same time so it was really loud. I went bright red and my eyes filled up with tears. I had to just walk to my seat, try not to cry and sit perfectly still so they wouldn't see it affected me.

3. Do you have trouble finding a relationship because you're gay?

No. I live in Sydney. There's a population of 4.6 million people here and we're one of the gay capitals of the world. There are so many gay clubs here. There's literally a whole street called Oxford Street (it's really famous) that's just all gay clubs. And it's a really long street too.

4. Would you ever be brave enough to hold hands/kiss your partner in public?

No. It has nothing to do with bravery though. I hate public displays of affection. I went to see The Hunger Games with my ex in Bondi once (which is a really gay/gay-friendly area) and he tried to put his hand on my knee while we were watching the movie. I felt uncomfortable, and not because we were gay, because like I said, it's a really gay friendly area. I just felt uncomfortable because I hate HATE HATE public displays of affection. Gay or straight.

However I've full-on made out with guys/grinded on them on dance-floors though, and complete strangers have tapped me on the shoulder and shouted "OI, GET A ****ING ROOM." But I've been mad drunk so that doesn't count.

5. What advice would you give to someone who has not yet come out yet?

Only do it in your own time and when you're ready. Also, if there's ANY doubt in your mind about whether or not your parents will accept you, then wait until you're out on your own and can afford to support yourself independently. Most people have an idea about their parents' stance on gays. My parents were ok with it, but didn't support gay marriage at the time. They were coming around on that though, because the whole world is, and I think my siblings were working on changing their minds because they could tell I was gay. My point is, even though they didn't agree with gay marriage at the time, I knew that there was no way I would be disowned or kicked out of home. They would never do that. Ever. You need to be 100% sure that your parents won't do this too. You can't afford to be on the streets or homeless when you're young. It will ruin your life.

Originally posted by maiko

I came out to my mom at 11, 14, 16, and 19. She keeps forgetting and asking my why I'm not married.

First because she found some dirty sites on the computer. Then at 14 she found my journal and poem I wrote on the computer about telling my parents that I was gay. She learned about my small Shad Moss and Raz-B obsession. and etc. It was horrible because she outed me to everyone and it hurt my relationship with my little brother. He didn't respect me the same, and we grew further apart. My two youngest brothers and sister never forgot. My next younger brother never knew but he asked me last year and I told him. He was mad because I never told him and said it was okay, he loved me the same. Then started drilling down a list of all his gay friends to make it seem like he's oh so cool with gay people, as if that helped

I came out to my dad because my mom told him at 14. He was mad and said all types of mean things. Then he forgot too.
Then I came out at 16 again. He was mad again, but forgot like a month later.

Then he called me last year and we had the most beautiful conversation and he said he wanted me to forget all of that and put all of that behind us and start over because he loves me. Then he passed away a few days later It was the worst but I'm so blessed that he told me that before he left.


To everyone else though in school. I came out at 14. It was fine and actually really cool. I wrestled and played football so they kind of respected me even more. I did not have any problems from any of the guys. The girls however started treating me a lot different. Like I was dirty or sick. I really hated it. Then sometimes they would say things like ever since you came out I'm start to see more feminine things and etc., didn't talk to me as much. Etc. But w/e. That's in the past.

Originally posted by SilencePlease

omg I have tears in my eyes now, I promise