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"Hugamari –
Haha, when I said darker I was talking more about drawing from negative feelings rather than simply invoking dark scenarios.
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I knew I ****ed up when you responded to my wall message after I already sent.
It's going to be my best scoring song of the season so far, though, going from reviews, so I can't really call that a **** up now can I?
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I didn’t feel particularly threatened, however, as this is still fairly benign and soft. A bit typical by hitting common sociopath indicators, but I think focusing on a mass murderer had potential.
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I can definitely see where you're coming from with that.
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You picked the right scenario and narrative, but I still don’t feel you’ve learned how to describe more dour or unsettling scenes in ways that aren’t edgeless. “Their innocence is mine to take”, “scream in pain”, life slipping out of eyes, etc. are all well-established lines, you need to make things a bit more vivid than that. I’d suggest you look at Michael Gira’s lyrics: dude really knows how to write ****ed up sentiments in ways that aren’t Cartoon Villain-esque, which you veer on quite a lot.
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Thank for for the suggestion! I was going to ask the judges what kind of lyrics they thought I should be looking for inspiration from, like what types of songs they would've liked to see from me, so this is very welcomed.
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While I don’t think you have to write dark songs to excel as a writer, if I could describe your songs this season, they’re all fuzzy and warm watercolor paintings, with a lack of clear, gritty details. Your tones and emotional palette are limited. This gave me the same impression, though I appreciate your efforts this week.
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The nice version of emotionally tone deaf.
But I'll look into the person you recommended and see if I can't learn anything from it.
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