Yay, that means we have free reign now! Shawn is so straight he would never look twice at a boy. He is straighter than the straightest ruler. He is so straight that if he ever visited the Big Bend National Park, the land would have an earthquake and make the river flow in a straight, perfect line.
Yay, that means we have free reign now! Shawn is so straight he would never look twice at a boy. He is straighter than the straightest ruler. He is so straight that if he ever visited the Big Bend National Park, the land would have an earthquake and make the river flow in a straight, perfect line.
basically, i realized that i couldn't keep things up the way i was before. i was really frustrated with my life, but i thought i was capable of just shouldering the stress and accepting that the problems were there, but in the end, last semester proved to me that if i live that way, i totally collapse in stressful situations.
ok that was super vague. to be more specific, i've been trying to get away from a lot of the friendships i had, because in the end they were upsetting me much more often than they were making me happy, and i had already tried to fix them multiple times and never gotten anywhere. the atmosphere when i was around them was just always so judgmental that i felt like i could never be myself at all, and they always seemed to ignore me whenever i needed help. i couldn't deal with getting let down constantly.
so i've been finding new friends, which is actually a really stressful process when you have social problems. the thing with me is that trying to make new friends is a lot of effort for me, so when it goes badly, i get really disappointed and upset. so yeah, that's been a frequent cause of problems in my life, even though it's caused a lot of good times as well.
also, my medication is being adjusted. anyone who's been on psychiatric medication knows that this can piss your body off and screw you up a little. so that causes me to have pretty severe mood swings. yeah, my chemical mental state is a work in progress.
i'm also having to make new strategies for next semester to avoid a repeat of the last one, which is nerve-wracking for me because i'm not really a person that does well with change. this means i have to make preparations like looking for better counselors in the area around my campus.
in the end, a lot of my future is kind of uncertain right now, and i'm the type of person that finds that REALLY stressful. i have this constant fear that i'm going to end up a loser living in my mom's basement with no friends, and whenever i fail my mind kinda goes back to that and that thought is really scary to me. i don't want to end up like that.
/total rant
I really get what you mean on that last part. We are worriers ready to battle! It's kind of exciting but at the same time I hate being sent into a panic attack over dumb stuff
i think i got back together with my ex-boyfriend last night??
i was so horny and he was saying all this sweet stuff and i ended up asking him out and i was in a horny state of mind so i wasnt knowing what i was saying
and we said i love you & i dont think i meant it at all
