[AMENHOOKER]

Blue Ivy is gonna run so far from showbusiness/Hollywood.
Bookmark me.

[Reader]

Originally posted by Kworb

Where are the spaces before the periods? Mess at his management not doing their research before tweeting from his account.

sdjkhkjsdfh Drag his illiteracy

[Sunshine.]

Blue Ivy will be too smart to rebel. nn.
Not with Tina, Solange, and Bey in her life.

[MrBeyonceFan]

Originally posted by collin

No need to resort to fanfics

[johnsuxx]

i've listened to like 3 1989 world tour songs live and it's mostly backing track, mess

[johnsuxx]

Loose trying to sing New Romantics live ksdfj,sdnf

[collin]

Originally posted by Sunshine.

Blue Ivy is playing with blocks on the living room floor. Half-dressed white barbies and cheerios cover the area around her while a 2003 edition of Kidz Bop (the one with Crazy In Love) plays in the background.

...should read...

We open to a scene of Blue Ivy on the living room floor playing with her blocks. She's swarmed in a sea of half-dressed, white Barbies and Cheerios while a 2003 edition of Kidz Bop, the one with Crazy In Love, blares in the background.

In the distance, the sound of shattered glass followed by the word "Tidal!" can be heard.

Etc.

I don't like that. Too formal and too synopsis-y.

The comma you added after "half dressed" is not necessary and I did not want to portray her in a "sea" of trash. Too exaggerative.

"Blares" is also too much. No one blares music for children?

[MrBeyonceFan]

Originally posted by Sunshine.

Blue Ivy will be too smart to rebel. nn.
Not with Tina, Solange, and Bey in her life.

!!!

Mess at "rebellious teen years"

[Skywalker]

I still wonder what Solange was so angry about last year? Wonder if it was about TIDAL early on and she was fighting for Beyoncé?

[Zoraluv]

Originally posted by MrBeyonceFan

Britney looks like Louisiana trash that just happened to get famous. I love it

[BabyCantYouSee]

I've realized that people hate on Bey because they are jealous, myself included. I mean...the woman is perfect in almost every way possible. There's no reason to hate. Most of her fans are the pits though.

[Sunshine.]

Originally posted by collin

I don't like that. Too formal and too synopsis-y.

The comma you added after "half dressed" is not necessary and I did not want to portray her in a "sea" of trash. Too exaggerative.

"Blares" is also too much. No one blares music for children?

-Most commas aren't. A lot are just stylistic choices.
-Oh but the sea of "white barbies" would really drive the "beyonce is a white woman" motif.
-"Blares" sets the scene for a private, yet firey argument in the distance.

Anyway, however you approach it, you gotta use more colorful language, fam. It just felt flat.

[Skywalker]

I love the SYG Béyhive.

[Aleks]

Originally posted by MrBeyonceFan

Wow, this is as disturbing as shooting your brother and stabbing your manager. You got me.

[collin]

Beyoncé is great and stuff but also shockingly mediocre when you put her discography up next to so many other artists. I like to toy w/the idea of her and play devil's advocate because she undeservedly gets no backlash... like ever, for anything. For such an unremarkable musician I feel the need to bring a cynical perspective and balance out the overt positivity.

[collin]

Originally posted by Sunshine.

-Most commas aren't. A lot are just stylistic choices.
-Oh but the sea of "white barbies" would really drive the "beyonce is a white woman" motif.
-"Blares" sets the scene for a private, yet firey argument in the distance.

Anyway, however you approach it, you gotta use more colorful language, fam. It just felt flat.

Don't use "fam" on ATRL
Not really open for advice but maybe another day (no). Constructive criticism works a lot better if you're actually good at what you're being critical about, too.

Aren't you the one who made the "Straight Marriage Acceptance Thread"

[thirdward]

north will be like kendall
she will stay away from her messy family

[BabyCantYouSee]

Iconic

@ 0:21

[Allstar]

If you're not watching Rectify or Hannibal I'm not sure how to help you

[Sunshine.]

Originally posted by collin

Don't use "fam" on ATRL
Not really open for advice but maybe another day (no). Constructive criticism works a lot better if you're actually good at what you're being critical about, too.

Aren't you the one who made the "Straight Marriage Acceptance Thread"

nnn. I actually am good..no great at what I'm criticizing.

I didn't want to get too technical tho cause I didn't think it mattered and it's off-topic, but if we're actually gonna do this, my version was obviously more pointed. If you're gonna write a good narrative, you shouldn't really have fluff.

Yes, I occasionally troll.