nsfw languages
Quote:
OreGuy – Pray Tonight
Going with religious undertones?  Risqué! “As I move my hands to thee” is forced, delete that. I’m going to assume that this sinner is a person, and if so, lie*. “Lay” is improper in this context, so that’s another forced rhyme. “Every inch turns him so good” what? I don’t even have a guess as to what this means…turns him on? “This is the way he change his mood” changes*. “Remind the things he did” remember* “Throughout the day / every sin’s been calling his name” was a good line, well done. “It’s just minute taken tonight” what? part 2. I don’t know about this one, either. “It’ll only take a minute tonight”? “It’s just for a minute tonight”? The line about the pillow and the bed, grammatically, makes sense, but I’m just imagining you’re holding a pillow up in the air? What is the point in that?  “He make moves in the dark” OH that’s why your element is dark. I got no feeling of that prior. “Cause he’s been on my head” should be “Cause he’s been in my head” or “Cause he’s been on my mind”. Now, after going through your lines, I am not feeling “dark” here. I can get the reasoning behind it, but I don’t think you applied it all that well.
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I forgot to put "a" into that line
I'm not just holding a pillow tho
It's a euphemism for masturbation, "moving the pillow up" - pillow = d*ck = soft
He's masturbating in the dark when no one can see.
Quote:
2. OreGuy - Pray Tonight
Conceptually this was fine I suppose, but I didn’t get what was happening. I wanted to know what the sins were and why he was praying, because it was way too ambiguous and focused too much on the process of avoiding the sin, which wasn’t that interesting. There were also some labored moments where the language barrier was apparent.
- “Every touch turns him so good” this lyric was weird
- “It's just a minute taken tonight” what - I forgot the "a" mess.
- “As I move my hands to thee” This is not 16th century Elizabethan England! - I'm referring to my private part as something holy.
- The bridge was awkward and clumsy.
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/NSFW
well, my song was about masturbation and later revealing that the person that I'm talking about in the song is someone that is masturbating inside my head. I'm imagining someone masturbating. And that is the sin that I'm talking about. #Lust
but yeah haha
Don't know how I missed that, but the pillow line was v confusing.