Just wrote a song literally 20ish minutes ago. It's really personally to me, only showing verse one and chorus. Might post the full if I feel up to it. I also recorded me singing it, but it's really rough sorry for the quality. .
"Broken Into Two"
[Verse one]
I never thought that you'd be,
Gone without me by your side,
By your side,
I never been the one to think,
So I go ahead and have another drink,
Got me feeling alone now.
[Chorus]
I'm falling hard for,
The pieces we had,
I don't know what to do,
It's like I'm broken into two,
We're breaking down so fast,
I need you in my life,
I got to get you alone,
It's like I'm broken into two.
Just wrote a song literally 20ish minutes ago. It's really personally to me, only showing verse one and chorus. Might post the full if I feel up to it. I also recorded me singing it, but it's really rough sorry for the quality. .
"Broken Into Two"
[Verse one]
I never thought that you'd be,
Gone without me by your side,
By your side,
I never been the one to think,
So I go ahead and have another drink,
Got me feeling alone now.
[Chorus]
I'm falling hard for,
The pieces we had,
I don't know what to do,
It's like I'm broken into two,
We're breaking down so fast,
I need you in my life,
I got to get you alone,
It's like I'm broken into two.
I liked the verse, particularly the melody. Also "Broken Into Two" just is awkward to say/sing because of the too-too sound so I'd reccomend changing it to simply "Broken In Two".
I liked the verse, particularly the melody. Also "Broken Into Two" just is awkward to say/sing because of the too-too sound so I'd reccomend changing it to simply "Broken In Two".
I won't comment on the singing
The singing sounds kinda like how punk singers sound when they sing acoustic to me. And obviously there was an accent.
Oh also I wrote a song last night that I'll either call "Acid Reign" or "Everyone's Going Insane" thats similar to Keshafied's song in that its only a verse and a chorus, but I think I'll pull a Mr. Brightside and just repeat the whole thing. Ill probably post it next Wednesday though to coincide with a certain even in the game section
The singing sounds kinda like how punk singers sound when they sing acoustic to me. And obviously there was an accent.
Oh also I wrote a song last night that I'll either call "Acid Reign" or "Everyone's Going Insane" thats similar to Keshafied's song in that its only a verse and a chorus, but I think I'll pull a Mr. Brightside and just repeat the whole thing. Ill probably post it next Wednesday though to coincide with a certain even in the game section
I'm very picky with singing but the reason I said I wouldn't comment on the singing wasn't just because I didn't like it but because this is a thread about songwriting - not singing and I didn't want to criticise the singing and take away the fact that I enjoyed the song besides it.
And this thread is dead again. I shall post another song then. Not done but feedback always appreciated
Money Love & Drugs
6”2 and with eyes so blue
Boy you got me shaken up and I’m really feeling you
Bad boy vibes, and an old school look
Yeah I’m sick for you baby
Feeling lost lately
Hoping you can save me
Fast motorcycles
Leather and untamed souls
I remember you, how your touch makes me so cold
Crime, illegality
I’m counting fatalities
Strike one for my heart
Strike two for my innocence
Strike three for my *oh*, baby I ain’t got no common sense.
[Chorus]
What have you done to me
All these nights getting high, oh I feel so free
Tell me this is reality
You’ve got money love and drugs, and it’s all for me
It’s not just your drugs, I really need your love
Baby it’s the most important drug of all
It’s not just your drugs, I really need your love
I shoot it up on the daily, and I’m perched to fall.
I feel you up baby nightly and it’s worth the fall.
Body of a god and soul of a devil
Bow down now boy I’ll take you to another level
You love my light pink lips and the tattoo on my hip
Cigarette burns on my body
My eyes always glossy
And I love it when you’re bossy
Love is a fairytale
When it ends it’s always hell
I remember this feeling, oh I’m lost but I’ll never tell.
What have you done to me
All these nights getting high, oh I feel so free
Tell me this is reality
You’ve got money love and drugs, and it’s all for me
It’s not just your drugs, I really need your love
Baby it’s the most important drug of all
It’s not just your drugs, I really need your love
I shoot it up on the daily, and I’m perched to fall.
I feel you up baby nightly and it’s worth the fall.
And this thread is dead again. I shall post another song then. Not done but feedback always appreciated
Money Love & Drugs
6”2 and with eyes so blue
Boy you got me shaken up and I’m really feeling you
Bad boy vibes, and an old school look
Yeah I’m sick for you baby
Feeling lost lately
Hoping you can save me
Fast motorcycles
Leather and untamed souls
I remember you, how your touch makes me so cold
Crime, illegality
I’m counting fatalities
Strike one for my heart
Strike two for my innocence
Strike three for my *oh*, baby I ain’t got no common sense.
[Chorus]
What have you done to me
All these nights getting high, oh I feel so free
Tell me this is reality
You’ve got money love and drugs, and it’s all for me
It’s not just your drugs, I really need your love
Baby it’s the most important drug of all
It’s not just your drugs, I really need your love
I shoot it up on the daily, and I’m perched to fall.
I feel you up baby nightly and it’s worth the fall.
Body of a god and soul of a devil
Bow down now boy I’ll take you to another level
You love my light pink lips and the tattoo on my hip
Cigarette burns on my body
My eyes always glossy
And I love it when you’re bossy
Love is a fairytale
When it ends it’s always hell
I remember this feeling, oh I’m lost but I’ll never tell.
What have you done to me
All these nights getting high, oh I feel so free
Tell me this is reality
You’ve got money love and drugs, and it’s all for me
It’s not just your drugs, I really need your love
Baby it’s the most important drug of all
It’s not just your drugs, I really need your love
I shoot it up on the daily, and I’m perched to fall.
I feel you up baby nightly and it’s worth the fall.
I was gonna wait a little later to share this but since we're having a burst of activity right now I'll share it now. Its about wanting to move away from my parents (which will happen in 2 months anyways) who are acting kinda ultra-protective right now. I imagine it being a good intro or outro to an album since its only 1:40.
Acid Reign
Everyone's going, everyone's going insane
Can't handle the shame, so they give me all of the blame
I need to run, got to get out of this place
Cause everyone's going, everyone's going insane
I'm surrounded by demons painting their skeletons white
Blind as the night, telling me follow the light
But I'm just a pawn, just a small piece of the game
Cause everyone's going, everyone's going insane
I'll make the great escape
Live in a world where all of my sins are OK
This haze will fade away
Skies will be clear, be free of this acid reign
But honestly, I can't write song when I'm being forced to do so. It comes naturally to me. The last time I wrote songs, I wrote five all within two hours. And now I'm stuck with nothing.
INTRO x2
If I'm great for you, I'm grateful
Got reasons to be
VERSE I
Grateful, that's the way that I see it
As I laid amongst my broken pieces
I was missing something, hoping, reaching
Hoping God could me offer me a reason
No ideas for my happiness
I got used to less and less of it
If more time pass, might miss the rest
Damn, the best thing that I ever did
Is stay with you, that's the way I see it
Up til sun come, and day 'til evening
You would kiss on me, make love to me
Comfort all my insecurities
Believe in me, at my most intimate
Tell you things that make me delicate
Keep your secrets, til you're laid to rest
I'll keep yours, and that's the way it is
PRE-CHORUS
Even when we argue, use my own words against me
I know you only use them, to keep myself from falling
It's okay, cause we all do, do what we aren't supposed to
Tell me, just like my father, that I don't wanna lose you
So thank you
CHORUS
I'm grateful, so grateful
To make love, trust, and become one
With you
I'm grateful, so grateful
To be great for you
To do things with you, to try to prove
To you
I'm grateful, so grateful
VERSE II
Nervous, for the worst of it
For that day we'll never touch our lips
When our lungs are breathing heavily
When are tongues are filled with arguing
But I know, that as hard as it gets
Next day, you will still encourage me
When the sun sets, we will love again
This is love, and that's the way it is
PRE-CHORUS
CHORUS
HOOKx2
If I'm great for you, I'm grateful (got reasons to be)
Grateful, so grateful (got reasons to be)
Grateful, so grateful (got reasons...)
To get to know you, more than I already do
VERSE III
Believe in me, at my most intimate
Tell you things that make me delicate
Keep your secrets, til you're laid to rest
I'll keep yours, and that's the way it is
Our skeletons coexist under our skin
In the open, but between is, in
A safer place than they have ever been
Scars of injury have settled in
Money Love & Drugs
may post one soon