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Discussion: ATRL Cares | Vent and Support
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 3,084
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Quote:
Originally posted by Beatfreak
I'm jealous of all the guys out there that have a really close knit group of friends, bros, that do everything together and won't judge you and just like you for who you are. I really wish I had something like that. I try really hard at making friends, and I get along with people but I've never really clicked with anyone. I just want that comforting feeling of being part of the group, being a bro, that others have.
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This pretty much sums me up 
I've always had friends, but I've never really had a close knit group. I always feel like with my friends that I come second (or third, or fourth, or fifth etc) to their main group of friends, and that I'm never someone's first choice to hang out with, or their favourite person. I know it's kind of silly, I shouldn't depend on other people for happiness, but all I want is to be in a group of close friends where we hang out all the time, and I feel wanted 
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Member Since: 11/13/2009
Posts: 25,902
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blairbear
This pretty much sums me up
I've always had friends, but I've never really had a close knit group. I always feel like with my friends that I come second (or third, or fourth, or fifth etc) to their main group of friends, and that I'm never someone's first choice to hang out with, or their favourite person. I know it's kind of silly, I shouldn't depend on other people for happiness, but all I want is to be in a group of close friends where we hang out all the time, and I feel wanted |
It's like looking in a mirror. Scary how much we're alike.
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Banned
Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 170
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So I have a cold sore now and I think I got it from my damn friend who I hung out with on NYE and possibly drank after.
Dumb broad.
It's gross and I'm scared I'm gonna get ocular herpes or on my genetalia because I didn't really know it spread like that and wasn't super "wash my hands" "clean up" when I first got it.
At first there was one on my lip now there are two there and one in my mouth and I have a bump on my thigh but it's probably from an ingrown hair and I feel like my penis is tingling and that's a sign but I think it's just normal tingling but god this is scary.
So I called my parents last night and was like I'm sick and my dad was like tough luck.
So I call my grandmother for money which she begrudgingly sends me but then my dad calls me back and is pissed that I called my grandmother for money. But then we had a really long FaceTime chat and I feel better but still! And I'm talking to this guy that sends me mixed singles and we are back in the green but I'm still slightly apprehensive because guys only talk to me because I'm attractive because I'm ****IG annoying.
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Member Since: 4/14/2011
Posts: 48,397
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I think I may give this a try, y'all seem like very nice people...
I had a good day until very recently when I lost my wallet with my ID, debit card, and room keys and I just can't get over that and I just want to find them, that's all I want to do and it's frustrating...there was a party I wanted to go to but I didn't go because of that wallet and I hate to be thinking about a replaceable object like this but why would anyone want them? They have no value....(I mean once the card is cancelled). Just why? If you have something and you know it belongs to someone be nice...karma people! On the other hand perhaps I dropped it in the street which is unlikely....I don't know...c'est affaire a suivre.
In general I was kind of optimistic this week. I am an introvert and every once in a while I feel depressed because I have very few friends and I don't see any of them everyday, I do have close friends but they live far away. It's easy to feel lonely....yet I enjoy my independence. I guess it's normal to feel this way. Sometimes I think I'm too naive for my age but hey, I've never been a fan of adrenaline. I don't like when my mom changes the furniture's place.
Also I've begun a diet and I think I'm going to lose all the weight I gained during the holidays and more.
However I can't seem to enjoy life since like four hours ago when I lost my wallet at the gym and I didn't find them.
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Banned
Member Since: 1/6/2014
Posts: 170
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Quote:
Originally posted by LoKoPaNdA
I think I may give this a try, y'all seem like very nice people...
I had a good day until very recently when I lost my wallet with my ID, debit card, and room keys and I just can't get over that and I just want to find them, that's all I want to do and it's frustrating...there was a party I wanted to go to but I didn't go because of that wallet and I hate to be thinking about a replaceable object like this but why would anyone want them? They have no value....(I mean once the card is cancelled). Just why? If you have something and you know it belongs to someone be nice...karma people! On the other hand perhaps I dropped it in the street which is unlikely....I don't know...c'est affaire a suivre.
In general I was kind of optimistic this week. I am an introvert and every once in a while I feel depressed because I have very few friends and I don't see any of them everyday, I do have close friends but they live far away. It's easy to feel lonely....yet I enjoy my independence. I guess it's normal to feel this way. Sometimes I think I'm too naive for my age but hey, I've never been a fan of adrenaline. I don't like when my mom changes the furniture's place.
Also I've begun a diet and I think I'm going to lose all the weight I gained during the holidays and more.
However I can't seem to enjoy life since like four hours ago when I lost my wallet at the gym and I didn't find them.
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I am the same way about losing things  .
Once I lost my wallet in Walmart, just dropped it in walmart, and I was so infuriated and pissed for hours.
Also losing your keys is one of the scariest things that can happen.
Losing **** period is horrible BUT, at the end of the day everything is replaceable, but you and your memories so try not to let it ruin your day.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 11,383
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dickard
I just want to say, I'm finally at peace with the break-up that I went through around a month ago. It feels like the weight on my heart and chest has been lifted.
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it's completly normal, no one actually and really get over relationships as fast as they claim, try to stop thinking of him/her everytime you catch yourself doing it and focus on other stuff, that should do it
Quote:
Originally posted by LoKoPaNdA
I think I may give this a try, y'all seem like very nice people...
I had a good day until very recently when I lost my wallet with my ID, debit card, and room keys and I just can't get over that and I just want to find them, that's all I want to do and it's frustrating...there was a party I wanted to go to but I didn't go because of that wallet and I hate to be thinking about a replaceable object like this but why would anyone want them? They have no value....(I mean once the card is cancelled). Just why? If you have something and you know it belongs to someone be nice...karma people! On the other hand perhaps I dropped it in the street which is unlikely....I don't know...c'est affaire a suivre.
In general I was kind of optimistic this week. I am an introvert and every once in a while I feel depressed because I have very few friends and I don't see any of them everyday, I do have close friends but they live far away. It's easy to feel lonely....yet I enjoy my independence. I guess it's normal to feel this way. Sometimes I think I'm too naive for my age but hey, I've never been a fan of adrenaline. I don't like when my mom changes the furniture's place.
Also I've begun a diet and I think I'm going to lose all the weight I gained during the holidays and more.
However I can't seem to enjoy life since like four hours ago when I lost my wallet at the gym and I didn't find them.
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but why don't you comeback to the gym and ask if someone already found it? That happens a lot and the gym owners always keep the "lost & found" stuff
Quote:
Originally posted by ohjames
So I have a cold sore now and I think I got it from my damn friend who I hung out with on NYE and possibly drank after.
Dumb broad.
It's gross and I'm scared I'm gonna get ocular herpes or on my genetalia because I didn't really know it spread like that and wasn't super "wash my hands" "clean up" when I first got it.
At first there was one on my lip now there are two there and one in my mouth and I have a bump on my thigh but it's probably from an ingrown hair and I feel like my penis is tingling and that's a sign but I think it's just normal tingling but god this is scary.
So I called my parents last night and was like I'm sick and my dad was like tough luck.
So I call my grandmother for money which she begrudgingly sends me but then my dad calls me back and is pissed that I called my grandmother for money. But then we had a really long FaceTime chat and I feel better but still! And I'm talking to this guy that sends me mixed singles and we are back in the green but I'm still slightly apprehensive because guys only talk to me because I'm attractive because I'm ****IG annoying.
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have you gone to the doctor already? If not, you totally should get checked, even if you're scared or something, that's for the best
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 3,084
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Quote:
Originally posted by Beatfreak
It's like looking in a mirror. Scary how much we're alike.
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We can be friends
I bags being Rachel
It's hard too, because pretty much all of my friends are in different groups, so they usually hang out with those groups. I do have one group of uni friends, but they all have their non uni friends/ other groups that they hang out with.
And I always try and organise to hang out with my uni friends, but they're always busy/ something comes up, but it seems like they'll make time for their other friends
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Member Since: 6/21/2012
Posts: 18,849
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This is an amazing thread idea 
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Member Since: 11/13/2009
Posts: 25,902
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blairbear
We can be friends
I bags being Rachel
It's hard too, because pretty much all of my friends are in different groups, so they usually hang out with those groups. I do have one group of uni friends, but they all have their non uni friends/ other groups that they hang out with.
And I always try and organise to hang out with my uni friends, but they're always busy/ something comes up, but it seems like they'll make time for their other friends |
That's what happens with me too. I try not to let it get me depressed, but sometimes I just have to ask myself if I'm the problem and what I can do to be a better person.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 3,801
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I have a mark on my chest that I need to get looked at. I had a rough 2013 and have plans to graduate. I cannot handle a medical emergency. Finding the time to even see a physician while remaining cool is exhausting.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 21,866
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(Posted in the Blog as well)
I have a bit of a complicated family situation. The relationship between my "father" and I is changing. Why? Well, primarily because he isn't my biological father.
Okay, he's the story:
My mom and my biological dad were once engaged. He knocked ha up and here I am. Apparently, the reason for their break-up is because my mom wanted to live in Jersey and he wanted to stay in Chicago (I was born in Jersey). There is probably more to the story cause my mom is shady as hell. 2-3 years later my mom got proposed to by my step-dad at Bally fitness. Yes, Bally fitness club. So, before that I guess she brought him around me and I wasn't scared of him and I was okay with it, hence how their relationship got to that point. But then again, being the person who I am I just didn't give a damn and just saw him as some chill random guy. So they got married and he raised me as his son and here I am 17-18 years later. Now, the reason why it's a weird situation because I always knew he wasn't my father, which is probably why I have a hard time viewing him as my legit father. You can say I just went with the flow. My thing is, I don't know why my biological father, who was engaged with my mom at one point, just stopped seeing me/ having communication. Like I said before, I know my mom is shady as hell and probably is behind that. He isn't a dead beat cause he's a lawyer in Chicago and he asks my mom from time to time if we need any help. (My theory: My mom wanted no strings attached, so she scooped up me and moved in her house in Jersey. She admitted before I was 18 that the reason she didn't want me to talk to him/ see him is because she didn't want him to sue her for custody/ visitation rights. [I call ******** but whatever])
Growing up was interesting. We got along great. Then there were times when it wasn't so pleasant. He had anger issues and would yell and something take his frustration out at the wrong times and in the wrong manor. When we would do homework together when I were younger, he would get frustrated and sometimes yell, scaring the hell out of me. That anger definitely strained our relationship. Like they say, you are literally 50% of your mom and 50% of your dad. I definitely have my dad's looks and my mom's personality. My mom's job requiring her to be away all-day sometimes left me "stuck" with my step-dad. I couldn't wait for her to get home so she could save me. You can say with my personality type (INFJ) I am more spiritually, emotionally, and sensually connected. Another thing to point out is, since he's not my biological dad, our personalities clash. I just can't connect spiritually with him. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that I don't view him as my father figure. It was coming to the point where I didn't really want to be around him anymore. And today, it's like that now. His presence isn't per-say unwanted, but just unneeded. Especially since they are divorced. When they got divorced I saw it more as a blessing than a curse. I just felt as though he wasn't right for me and my mom.
Now, I think the problem is my mom held back communication between him (my biological dad) and I. And since I've always known about him, my curiosity about him stayed with me my whole life, again, why it's hard to view my step-dad as the father figure in my life. Like I said, it's probably my personality type that accounts for why I am spiritually, emotionally, and sensually unconnected to him.
Any advice? Tips? Thanks.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/2/2012
Posts: 7,414
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My dad died last June and I still can't bear to talk about him. I can't even look at his picture without getting upset. My mom wants me to see a therapist but I don't want to.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 3,084
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Quote:
Originally posted by Beatfreak
That's what happens with me too. I try not to let it get me depressed, but sometimes I just have to ask myself if I'm the problem and what I can do to be a better person.
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Tbh, I think what hurts the most is knowing that you're partly the problem, and you're not sure of how to fix it
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 3,830
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ares
My dad died last June and I still can't bear to talk about him. I can't even look at his picture without getting upset. My mom wants me to see a therapist but I don't want to.
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I am so sorry  I hope you find the strength to come to terms with his loss. He is at peace now.
Maybe a therapist is not a such a bad idea? You could go to a meeting just to see how it goes and if you hate it, you don't have to come back.
Anyway, take care and try to feel better.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/2/2012
Posts: 7,414
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kali.
I am so sorry I hope you find the strength to come to terms with his loss. He is at peace now.
Maybe a therapist is not a such a bad idea? You could go to a meeting just to see how it goes and if you hate it, you don't have to come back.
Anyway, take care and try to feel better. |
Thank you
I might end up seeing one. It's just I'm not the kind of person who talks about my feelings. I think that'll be the hardest part.
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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Quote:
Originally posted by FunkyDinevo
(Posted in the Blog as well)
I have a bit of a complicated family situation. The relationship between my "father" and I is changing. Why? Well, primarily because he isn't my biological father.
Okay, he's the story:
My mom and my biological dad were once engaged. He knocked ha up and here I am. Apparently, the reason for their break-up is because my mom wanted to live in Jersey and he wanted to stay in Chicago (I was born in Jersey). There is probably more to the story cause my mom is shady as hell. 2-3 years later my mom got proposed to by my step-dad at Bally fitness. Yes, Bally fitness club. So, before that I guess she brought him around me and I wasn't scared of him and I was okay with it, hence how their relationship got to that point. But then again, being the person who I am I just didn't give a damn and just saw him as some chill random guy. So they got married and he raised me as his son and here I am 17-18 years later. Now, the reason why it's a weird situation because I always knew he wasn't my father, which is probably why I have a hard time viewing him as my legit father. You can say I just went with the flow. My thing is, I don't know why my biological father, who was engaged with my mom at one point, just stopped seeing me/ having communication. Like I said before, I know my mom is shady as hell and probably is behind that. He isn't a dead beat cause he's a lawyer in Chicago and he asks my mom from time to time if we need any help. (My theory: My mom wanted no strings attached, so she scooped up me and moved in her house in Jersey. She admitted before I was 18 that the reason she didn't want me to talk to him/ see him is because she didn't want him to sue her for custody/ visitation rights. [I call ******** but whatever])
Growing up was interesting. We got along great. Then there were times when it wasn't so pleasant. He had anger issues and would yell and something take his frustration out at the wrong times and in the wrong manor. When we would do homework together when I were younger, he would get frustrated and sometimes yell, scaring the hell out of me. That anger definitely strained our relationship. Like they say, you are literally 50% of your mom and 50% of your dad. I definitely have my dad's looks and my mom's personality. My mom's job requiring her to be away all-day sometimes left me "stuck" with my step-dad. I couldn't wait for her to get home so she could save me. You can say with my personality type (INFJ) I am more spiritually, emotionally, and sensually connected. Another thing to point out is, since he's not my biological dad, our personalities clash. I just can't connect spiritually with him. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that I don't view him as my father figure. It was coming to the point where I didn't really want to be around him anymore. And today, it's like that now. His presence isn't per-say unwanted, but just unneeded. Especially since they are divorced. When they got divorced I saw it more as a blessing than a curse. I just felt as though he wasn't right for me and my mom.
Now, I think the problem is my mom held back communication between him (my biological dad) and I. And since I've always known about him, my curiosity about him stayed with me my whole life, again, why it's hard to view my step-dad as the father figure in my life. Like I said, it's probably my personality type that accounts for why I am spiritually, emotionally, and sensually unconnected to him.
Any advice? Tips? Thanks. |
I'm probably the worst person to give advice on this, because my relationship with my biological mom is a mess as I previously mentioned in this thread  I've also been struggling for damn near 8 years to connect with her on an emotional level, but it just doesn't happen and I doubt it will ever. I guess I'm content with that because we both aren't trying to sort this out. My dad probably has it the hardest because he is constantly stuck in the middle. I hate my mother to such an extent where I wouldn't even care when she dies. I'd obviously be sad for my dad, but there's no connection with my mom for me to be sad about it. This (obviously) wasn't advice at all. Just wanted to share my story to let ya know you're not alone, and hopefully someone can give us advice as to what we can do next
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 8,249
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FUNKY:
I replied to you in the blogs.
Quote:
Originally posted by Ares
My dad died last June and I still can't bear to talk about him. I can't even look at his picture without getting upset. My mom wants me to see a therapist but I don't want to.
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You don't need to see a therapist. This is perfectly normal, a lot of people had loved ones pass away 5-7 years ago but they still aren't over it.
Things like this heal with time and, to an extent, being spiritual.
If you are spiritual, try to connect with anything you believe in, ask questions, CRY your heart out to them, they listen.
We will all pass away, it's a fact, it's just a matter of time. There's gotta be someone or something that controls this. Spirituality really helps more than anything.
If you are not a spiritual person, try to find people who genuinely care about you. I genuinely care about you. Drop me a message in my PM box saying whatever you want. I am here to listen and I care. I really do.
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Member Since: 11/13/2009
Posts: 25,902
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I ALREADY HATE THIS SEMESTER.
I need to be happy.
That is all.
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Member Since: 5/28/2012
Posts: 7,065
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There seems to have been some concerns about my role is this thread and activity, despite the fact that I've made countless posts elsewhere stating I would be very sporadically active on this site. Nevertheless, some members seem to have missed the entire point of this thread and have complained, not realizing that this is self-sustaining and an OP's presence is not overtly needed. However, all issues that have arisen causing me to be a bit of a ghost in here are taken care of and I will be more active.
If you made a post that you wanted me to add to the OP, please just repost it and I"ll get on that ASAP.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 15,127
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So there is girl I met at camp and she wants to marry me ... shes 16 btw
She Is really into me .... and I'm not into her .... It's like she is forcing me to like her... How do I lead her off politely 
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