Member Since: 9/23/2009
Posts: 26,796
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Quote:
The first thing that strikes you with “Hold It Against Me” is that there’s no real hook, at least not in the beginning. After opening with a pumping bassline and grating, metallic production, the song ascends into a ****-teasing pre-chorus with a cheeky double entendre, “If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?” Then just when you think Britney’s about to explode into a stuttery chorus à la “Poker Face”, “We R Who We R” or even “Womanizer”, “Hold It Against Me” zooms right back into that same grating beat, only this time it’s even louder and grittier than before.
Enter the second verse, where Britney continues singing about chasing down some elusive hunk in a nightclub with that unique mix of bold sexual prowess and sad vulnerability that’s always made her voice so special. The same pre-chorus starts, everything looks like it’s running according to schedule, and then BAM — the bottom of the song falls out, Britney starts speaking in a British accent, and before you know it “Hold It Against Me” has descended into a cataclysmic, dubstep breakdown and Spears’ is smackin’ her lips and demanding her potential lover to “pop it like a hood”. Throw in a brief sprinkling of 90′s euro rave synths, a thundering bass break, and then the real chorus begins. Britney’s back to asking you to hold it against her again, but this time she’s backed by the booming machine gun beats that were absent in the previous pre-hooks and everybody’s waving their glow sticks in the air like it’s New Years Eve 1999 all over again.
There’s really no predictable formula on “Hold It Against Me” — it grows and evolves like a living organism. In fact, it’s so real that Team Britney have virtually mapped out the structure of the song to make it the musical equivalent of sex: You start off at a steady pace, things start getting hotter and more intense but you can’t climax too soon, just like in the pre-chorus, but before too long things have gotten so passionate that you lose yourself and enter those truly explosive moments before the main event. I don’t think I need to explain the last part where the beat finally kicks in, do I?
“Hold It Against Me” may be radio-friendly, but for anybody to say that it’s a derivative knock-off must be crazy. There are no pseudo self-empowerment messages here, no gimmicky publicity stunts or delusions of artistic grandeur. It’s just Britney being Britney, as she’s always done. It’s pop, it’s sexy, it’s insanely addictive, there’s frickin’ dubstep, Britney pronounces “hazy” as “hay-zay” and then speaks in British accent. Seriously, how much more Britney can you get?
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This review still brings a tear to my heart.
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@ those who said IUSA 2.0 (Amy's biggest spin increase was 198 
)
