Quote:
Originally posted by keshaspearsxo
so the averages of last round were:
Pears - 5.72
Temp - 6.28
Cupid - 6.48
Hug - 7.02
Overall - 6.37
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Me having the 2nd highest avg but still getting lashed, my impact I guess.
@Ceremonials -
I found this entry a little too story/poem like. There was a little too much going on. The first verse alone goes from two lines about a woman, to two lines about a man, to two lines about yourself, to two lines about your brother. 'he heard his mama cry' - but he's your brother, so surely it'd be 'our mother' ?
'we were just shadows' 'We were the only thing that kept her from the darkness' 'we were the only shred of light ' These are 3 lines back to back from the chorus. I didn't understand how you could be shadows (which are dark) and also be the only thing keeping her from dark? So you're keeping her from yourself? And then you say you're a shred of light. You can't be a shadow and be a shred of light?
I'm not detracting away from the actual story-telling here because it is quite obviously stellar and you do a great job with the emotion too. But there was just an issue with the length and detail here.
I still haven't listened to her album tho, poor Ivy.
nnn I sound so tragic
praise jesus
fff hopefully we create something
