[Achilles.]

Originally posted by jpow

wow at our songs being lowkey similar

Sounds like yours was better received than mine, though!

I was originally gonna write a song about a man and a woman in a bar both trying to attract the same man's attention and the plot twist in the bridge was that the man was bi and wanted both of them. But it didn't pan out at all. Probably because I have never been in a bar or hit on a man.

I don't even know how I got to what I got to.

Originally posted by Jackson

this is not critic the critiquer hour
that does make more sense now but I still don't liek that line

I feel like if you didn't get that then you fundamentally misunderstood my song.
Like, it was as straightforward as could be without me literally explaining it at face value.


That was one of the lines I wish I'd done better. Something about the word "catch" just didn't work there. And I knew the "ploy" line wouldn't go over well, but it worked and it was something that came to me pretty easily.

[jpow]

I would love for the judges to Tim Gunn us in one challenge - split the contestants up between all the judges and let us submit our songs to them prior to the deadline for them to give their input on what we need to do in the song to fix it.

[Temporal]

Originally posted by Jaxswim

I don't think there's an issue with this (I do it too), but more like you shouldn't grab a word just because you can. You should grab the word that will help you further your story/

Tea.

[Jackson]

Originally posted by ceremonials

Wait Jackson , what word was spelled wrong in the Wolfs bane line?

its spelled wolfsbane

Originally posted by Achilles.

I feel like if you didn't get that then you fundamentally misunderstood my song.
Like, it was as straightforward as could be without me literally explaining it at face value.


That was one of the lines I wish I'd done better. Something about the word "catch" just didn't work there. And I knew the "ploy" line wouldn't go over well, but it worked and it was something that came to me pretty easily.

I got the song, don't worry. I just got the voices mixed up for that line and I still don't like it

[Achilles.]

^^
Wolfsbane is just the plant, though.

Were they referring to the plant ("wolfsbane"), or were they describing something as the bane of the wolf ("wolf's bane")?

[Jackson]

Originally posted by Achilles.

^^
Wolfsbane is just the plant, though.

Were they referring to the plant ("wolfsbane"), or were they describing something as the bane of the wolf ("wolf's bane")?

From what I got from it, it was a play on words with the whole wolf theme but they were referring to the plant and its poisonous properties

[Hugamari]

I wonder how close fefe and I will be in averages?

Who am I kidding, he's gonna beat me. My competition here is Achilles.

[Jackson]

So btw I gave out two 9.5's one to hugsong and one to Citrus. I also gave out a 1.5

[Hugamari]

Originally posted by Jackson

So btw I gave out two 9.5's one to hugsong and one to Citrus. I also gave out a 1.5

Oop I better come for that 8 overall average.

[ceremonials]

Oh mess. I thought they were the same lfkfkfkkf

[Witch Privilege]

Originally posted by Jackson

So btw I gave out two 9.5's one to hugsong and one to Citrus. I also gave out a 1.5

In before I'm the 1.5.

[Achilles.]

Originally posted by Hugamari

I wonder how close fefe and I will be in averages?

Who am I kidding, he's gonna beat me. My competition here is Achilles.

You'll probably come in second when R1+R2 are averaged.

If the other judges feel the same as Jackson did regarding my R2 song, I'll be lucky to be top 5. Maybe not even top 10.



Which leads to a question. Are we getting a R2 ranking and then an averaged ranking, or will the R2 ranking be the averaged ranking?

[UFO]

UFO – Subconscious Being
I didn’t really understand what was going on here until the last line of the verse, then I kinda just let out an “ooooooh” and had to reread the verse. I never like the word “rotten” in songwriting or in general because it always just sounds cringey. The “shell” line was awkwardly worded as shell would be something you hide inside rather than something being used to oppress you. The whole concept of this reminds me of the pears song “Today I Won’t Eat” in Season 6 as it has to do with two sides of one being as opposed to two separate entities. I thought you pulled this off a bit better because the voices together are almost like a third, separate, fully realized voice. I loved the hemisphere line as it relates to physical as well as mental location. The chorus is a little clunky and wordy, but the bridge is brilliant.

Yaas!



I think the "shell" line is fine since it's being used in the context of a subconscious being which is also hidden inside but I see what you mean with the "oppress" aspect of it. Thanks! I was so scared the message of the song would be too vague, I know I like to do that subtle **** I love the hemisphere line too and omg I struggled so hard with the chorus

dd suck my fat pears you acidic fruit!

[Jackson]

Originally posted by Achilles.

You'll probably come in second when R1+R2 are averaged.

If the other judges feel the same as Jackson did regarding my R2 song, I'll be lucky to be top 5. Maybe not even top 10.



Which leads to a question. Are we getting a R2 ranking and then an averaged ranking, or will the R2 ranking be the averaged ranking?

We're trying to be more of an open book with scores this season, so you'll get both

[jpow]

Originally posted by Jackson

We're trying to be more of an open book with scores this season, so you'll get both

Thank goodness, because the algebra we had to do to get our individual round scores last season was not the tea.

[UFO]

Mess @ the bridge being brilliant, I always write my bridges at the last minute

[minho]

Originally posted by Jaxswim

I don't think there's an issue with this (I do it too), but more like you shouldn't grab a word just because you can. You should grab the word that will help you further your story/

I find myself doing this a lot too. Good advice about the furthering the story, I think sometimes I get so caught up in the song and trying to make it fit together that I end up opting for something just to make it rhyme or sound good.

It's hard to stop tbh. My main goal for the next round is to focus on my choruses and the language that I use in general. I want it to be a bit simpler and less contrived, since I feel like my songs sometimes don't feel like songs.

[ceremonials]

Originally posted by jpow

Thank goodness, because the algebra we had to do to get our individual round scores last season was not the tea.

Rite

[ausdaniel]

When is batch 2 cominggggg?

[Hugamari]

I have Rhymezone bookmarked, although I only use it when I feel like there's a word I'm forgetting that would work PERFECTLY for what I have. I didn't use a rhyming dictionary at all for "Welcome to the World", which some of my rhymes were called "predictable", but not "forced", so obviously the words worked, but it was just not very surprising or different.

I did use it once when working with lovesong, though. The verses all had the same rhymes, so I was really pressed for words to use. If the second verse felt forced, that'd be why.

Although for me, it gets to the point where if I think of a line, I fairly quickly think of something that fits the meter and rhymes at the end. It's natural for me at this point.