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39. keshaspearsxo - Companion
Cute concept, very single girl living in New York City-ish. Condescending humor aside, I absolutely adored the structure/flow/meter of this; it came off as rather effortless. There were some word choices such as "unearth," that I think felt out of place. Most of your song has a rainy photograph feel to it (especially since it was outro and it felt like you were leaving something behind) and unearth just didn't fit unlike "filter," and "blur." It was short and sweet.
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To me, the words fit together because I was describing something distant/unowned, so I used "unearth" to stress that it was something that really was a task to find, but i see where you're coming from and I'll keep that in mind! Thanks
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49. Keshaspearsxo – Companion
The flow of your song was unusually uneasy for you. Worth/unearth, weren’t/learnt, and filter/blur were all forced and awkward rhymes (I can’t tell if the last one was even supposed to be a rhyme). “Part of myself I’ll redeem” is phrased awkwardly as well, as generally it would be “I’ll redeem part of myself”. Your imagery was more murky than usual. The best glimpse I got of your song was the second stanza, especially in the filter/redeem/blur lines. Still, I would have loved to see what you visualize when you “emerge from the blur”, because the best I got was a blur itself. I did enjoy the sentiment of being one’s own companion and the confidence portrayed through your rather simplistic lyrics. In following rounds I’d love to see you return to your vivid imagery and tight structure I know you’re capable of. But even more I’d love to see you try to tackle bigger, more abstract concepts and include more storytelling in your lyrics. If anything I’d say you have a knack for writing the best simplistic, thoughtful songs of the competition, but there’s always room for growth and challenge.
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The idea of my wording being awkward is not something new. People always say that in this game. I choose my words purposefully and I always like them, maybe it's a stylistic thing. To me "part of myself I'll redeem" sounds s lot better here than "I'll redeem part of myself" especially in the context of a song, so I'm not really phased by that. The idea behind my selective imagery was the idea of something distant, like a blur, in which you emerge from into clarity. It's more of a metaphorical and open ended idea than something like "raspberry skies" but that said, maybe I can include more obvious imagery as I have in the past. But, i felt it wasn't particularly needed here. I do not like straightforward storytelling and whenever I do it, it flops, so no. Like you said, I like being more thoughtful I guess, but I wouldn't really say "simplistic". There is always a story between the lines. Thanks
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39. keshaspearsxo - Companion
That 2nd stanza, though! Really nice. Your style was really beautiful and nuanced throughout this song. I suppose my overall issue would be that you refer to things as if we know what the are: i.e. "the filter," "my weak attempt at you" (What was your "attempt" at them and why was it "foolish?"). Begun/companion didn't line up stress wise, but that might be a British thing! I also thought this was a bit more of an interlude than an outro, but I could see it working as an outro to a slightly lesser extent. Nice job.
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Well, when I refer to a filter it's obviously the device that changes something - ie. Water being ran through a filter, A picture being viewed through a filter. The idea of the word is referring to the "rose tinted glasses" kind of thing, with a person being unaware, foolishly so, in their view of something "all of this seems like a dream, that I watch through the filter". It is about the perception of a relationship, with the person ultimately realising it was foolish and learning how to adjust to the idea of not needing that relationship, and developing themselves instead of focusing on others, "i am my own companion". Thanks!
thank you anyway judges
