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Originally posted by swiftie13
36. ausdaniel - Grand Debut
I loved this from first read. The flow, the attitude, the feel of it all was spectacular. It really did feel like an intro, pulling the audience in while making us curious about a journey that is about to take place. That's what an intro should do. Your meter was on point in each section and although I wasn't a fan of "this is my grand debut," I can overlook it a little because it fits in well with the concept here. It's as if we are about to watch a one man show. Your language was simple but it was effective (except it's write off, not ride off) and the idioms felt carefully chosen. That isn't as easy of a feat in my opinion, so kudos. Lines like "these are my scars and these is my truth," could be done without but "a mystic compilation," were placed well even if "compilation" isn't typically lyrical. Good job.
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Wow! Thank you! What a great review. I've definitely noticed that "scars" is a word I get canned for often, to lemme leave it out in future entries. Thank you for the beautiful feedback!
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Originally posted by Temporal
36. Ausdaniel - Grand Debut (Intro)
WRITE me off, not RIDE me off That was a kii. This was good, but there were a few issues: your flow was generally strong, but it was disrupted in the 4th stanza and the last line of the 2nd. The "I stand at heaven's gate" line was a bit redundant with the preceding line, and "knock, knock" in the 4th stanza would've flowed better than just "knock," and the repetition of "grand debut" made the phrase lose its luster. Still, this was probably the strongest thing I've read from you, and a really nice entry!
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omg the sad part about that is that I KNOW IT'S WRITE ME OFF WTF hahahah. I was rushed. You can tell.
Thanks for saying that it's your favourite entry from me, and hopefully you'll say that a few more times as the season progresses.
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Originally posted by Jackson
36. Ausdaniel – Grand Debut
I can tell this was a rushed entry, and there’s quite a few flaws in this song. Even the clichés were misquoted here (third time’s a charm, don’t write me off yet). I found a good portion of the song to amount to nothing more than cliché, and the rest of it was relatively bland and uninspired. You did have a good sense of meter which I commend. Try to avoid using the word “scars” as it almost always comes across as forced. You should have tried to enhance your language by using more descriptive words. I did like the line “a mystic compilation/of strength and tears” and the title.
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Definitely rushed, yeah, but in that time frame of 30 minutes, I'm pretty proud. Lol yeah never using "scars" ever again (Demi should stop too tbh).
Thanks guys <3
I'm glad you liked the song overall despite some issues 
thank you.