ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 39,618
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Quote:
Originally posted by Pop
It's the middle of May 2016. Katy Perry is sitting in her super-swaggy living room which is inspired by legends that came before her, like Riff Raff. Her makeupless face shows that the years of prostituting left her looking old and haggard. She turns on her Lenovo laptop and types in "billboard.com". LG5 was released this week and Katy woke up extra early to cackle at the low sales numbers.LG5 was released this week and Katy woke up extra early to cackle at the low sales numbers. Her media and her fans told her Lady Gaga is over and that Katy reigns supreme. As the page loads and a giant headline pops up "LADY GAGA IS BACK, AND WE'VE GOT THE NUMBERS TO PROVE IT". At first, Katy justs sits in silence, the wrinkles around her mouth frozen in an ugly grimace. "This isn't 2013 anymore. Talent always wins in the end", the subheader reads. Katy simply can't take this no more. In a knee-jerk reaction to the big news, she jumps up and smashes her head against the tacky metallic chandelier she had Jeremy Scott "design" for her. A loud crack is heard, as one of the longest spikes makes a protrusion through her saggy scalp and into the central nervous system of her brain. Her eyes freeze in terror. Tears start falling down her face and she starts foaming at the mouth. She soils herself from the impact and as she slowly slides off the spike, pieces of her brain are scattered around. As her immobile body falls to the floor, a loud thump is heard. She fell on her fake tittys and one of them exploded, leaking gooey, decade old silicone mixed with blood. She is aware of the entire situation, but unable to move or talk. "Not my only talent!", she thinks fo herself and manages to let out a little sob for her tit. "Surely somebody will come to save me? I have so many people that love me." she thinks as her eyes glaze over the "This isn't 2013 anymore" headline. "How about my friends? Kesha Rose, Taylor or Selena?", but then she remembers what she read in Cosmo GIRL once (the only piece of literature Katy has ever read): "Karma is not a nice lady. Don't backstab your friends, or it will come back to haunt you." She layed there for a week until one of her handlers from Capitol Records came to take her to her weekly rape session with Dr Luke. The pictures of her bloated dead body on the floor, covered in feces, blood and silicone with the Lady Gaga headline still open on her laptop next to her are leaked to the media by Taylor Swift's team. The only tribute she gets is a five minute one at the Kids Choice Awards, performed by Becky G. RIP, talentless prostitute of pop.
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Fiction vs. Reality
Let's not forget that Gaga is in fact the one that always checks up on Katy. 
It's amazing how the 2013 scars are still bleeding.
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and she's going on tour soon 
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