Quote:
Originally posted by Goaty
What did he say?
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Quote:
Originally posted by Stevie
I'm sorry, sis. 
What went down in his office? |
Well he started by chiding me for not submitting the request form, and once I could finally get a word in to tell him that I submitted it yesterday, he backed off on that and said his office must not've uploaded it. Like okay? How is that my fault? After he allowed me to start explaining my situation, which he interjected on multiple times before I could even explain the whole thing (how I've been going to campus counseling, was determined to have depression with ADHD symptoms and mild anxiety, how those affect motivation and focus and have for years but exacerbated when I came to college), he began making even more digs.
First of all, you're supposed to bring proof of some kind to back up your reason for dropping the class late. The counseling office could only give me a list of all my previous and future appointments, saying that that's usually all the dean's office needs and that they need to request a letter from my counselor if they need more information, not me. Well, he said my evidence was incredibly weak (even though I've seen my counselor four times, an ADHD assessor twice, and have a ****ing psychiatry appointment in January--it's not like campus health services will put me on medication as soon as I notice an issue), seemed to completely ignore the appointments that I've taken and will take, and instead pointed out that I rescheduled two appointments, canceled one (because it conflicted with my schedule), and got a flu shot
Then he repeated endless times that there are thousands of students there dealing with depression/anxiety and that "I'm not special". Like okay? They're also getting treated for it to make it manageable? It's not my fault that it took three ****ing months just to get an appointment with a psychiatrist when it was clear I needed real help from the start. I think of suicide daily so it's kind of hard to be able to feel motivated for a class that I have no interest in, have a ****ing asshole professor for, requires immense textbook reading (which I can't do because of my focus issues), and failed my last test in.
And then he also repeated many times that I was well aware of the deadlines to drop the course and that I should've taken the responsibility to do that if I knew it wasn't going well. I knew that the class was difficult but I was at least passing the tests and matching and the class averages so I didn't see the point in dropping (and I was also still planning pre med at that point). It was right around/just after the deadline that I had a major depressive episode (as defined by both my counselor and my assessor) which was when I started to go downhill and failed the last test because I wasn't going to lectures and couldn't keep up with the material.
He was essentially accusing me of being a lazy student, waited until the last minute to realize that I was going to do poorly in the class, panicked, and came to try to save my GPA. Which isn't ****ing true at all. Procrastination/lack of motivation is something so deeply engrained in my personality, school related things may be something I procrastinate but there are plenty of other things way more pressing in my life that I've put off for months/years because ignoring with my **** is the only way I know how to cope with it.
He DID offer to grant me the late drop, but said that his colleagues would be disgusted in his choice, that it would be under incredibly special/generous circumstances, and that he would "put it on my record" to prevent the possibility of being granted a late drop ever again. Like, after how bad he made me feel, I would've felt like an even bigger piece of **** leaving his office if I'd accepted the offer, and he didn't allow me time to think about it either.
And finally when I told him I was planning to do a study abroad next year, he shat all over the idea and said that the culture shock (London? lol) will be too hard for me as only a sophomore, and that "my dreams of a ~life changing~ experience won't be fulfilled". As if he knows jack **** about me, traveling, being independent, interacting with other cultures, etc. is one of the few things that keeps me happy in life and gives me something to look forward to.
There was plenty more **** that he said, I was in his office for a good hour, but I was on the verge of tears the entire time so I blocked out some parts. It was one of the most disheartening things I've ever had to sit through and now I just downed 2mg of unprescribed Xanax because there's no ****ing way I'm in the mindset to get any studying done tonight.
One of my professors this semester didn't post our marks for a particular project until one whole month after it was turned in. 
AND the final project was ancillary to it, so I didn't know what I needed to correct until I was pretty much done with the final. 
ended with all A's and B's!
I have changed all my courses to deferred entry as I'm not really sure whether I want to go this year. I don't know if I even want to go at all although I don't want to spend the rest of my life on the dole (benefits).
**** you, Donald Kieso.