[Moonchild]

I can't believe we've submitted our last entries for this game.

[Citrus]

---

Episode 13 - The Final Runway
Lunch with Scarlett



Well, hi there, Scarlett! Come, take a seat and have a Tic Tac. Let's chat my dear.

---

Scarlett LaPierre


You emerged sort of in the middle of this competition, and for a few weeks you seemed unstoppable. Lately, though, you've seemed to have some trouble connecting to the judges. You've lipsynced more than either of the other girls in the Top 3. Does that worry you at all?

Not really. I think it's okay to fall because that's how you better yourself. I've listened to the judges' critiques and tried to improve from their comments, which is all I can do. After my disappointment in the Sissy That Lip Sync results, I won in Aesthetics. After I was in the bottom two for Color Me Pride, I won the make-over challenge. Each time I've fallen short, I've come back stronger. If I learn and become better, I think of that as a success.

Unlike a lot of the other girls, you seemed to have avoided conflict. Not only do you not get into fights, but almost everyone has something good to say about you. Did you come in trying to be the nice girl?

Haha, that hasn't been my intent. I dislike negativity most of the time; it's off-putting, toxic and generally unhelpful. If you don't have anything nice to say, it's usually better to say nothing at all or vent elsewhere. If you have a problem with someone, it's okay to directly address that, but be careful that you don't take it too far. People won't remember what you said or how you said it, but they'll always remember how it made them feel. For me, the point of life and drag is to express and enjoy yourself, so I try to be positive. Life is short; be happy.

You've been criticized before for being too robotic and perfect, especially by judge Pears Rice. What do you have inside you that he just isn't seeing? How do you think you can show not just him, but everyone, that you can be ATRL's Next Drag Superstar?

Every entry I submit is representative of me, and I don't think Pears Rice always sees that or understands where I'm coming from. I think of challenges and problems very analytically, especially when I'm under stress, and I see how that may make my entries come across as robotic or impersonal. That said, all of my creations have heart. I put creativity and thought into all of my entries and they're unique to me. I think I could show him and everyone my superstar potential if I drew that out more, and I'm working on that.

Is there anything you'd like to ask me, Scarlett?

What do you personally look for in a drag superstar? What has been your favorite part of the competition? Do you have ideas for next season?

More importantly, are you juicing? What are your weight loss tips? I want that snatched waist.

Oh, dear, it isn't snatched. In the early 80s, I had my bones entirely replaced with cartilage so I can adjust waist at will. I look for a drag superstar who is constantly seeking to better herself and shows me that she's no one-trick pony. In this business, you've really gotta work it out in whatever way you can. If the director needs class, you give class. If they need trash, you give trash. Versatility is what I'm looking for, along with an inherent sense of self that doesn't waver no matter where the buck takes 'em.

My favorite part of this competition has been seeing so many girls grow beyond my expectations, and seeing what you all have done with the challenges. It was astounding to see you take some vague, paragraph assignment and turn it into this gorgeous entry. Season 2 is a long ways off, but there are a few challenges I would like to keep, several I want to remove, and a few I'd like to add.

---

Well, that about wraps things up, my dear. Good luck, and I'll see you on the main stage.

[feelslikeadream]

Yay, I love lunches!

I didn't realize they'd be posted separately though, so I guess my entry will be tweaked a bit? And I was so proud I found an image of a CITRUS fruit made entirely of tic-tacs

[Citrus]

---

Episode 13 - The Final Runway
Lunch with Carrie



Well, hi there, Carrie! Come, take a seat and have a Tic Tac. Let's chat my dear.

---

Carrie Messiah


Scarlett and Chanel are inseparable, and then there's you. Do you feel any increased competition since you're competing against two good friends?

First, know that I consider both Scarlett and Chanel to be friends. Scarlett and I have been friendly throughout the competition, but really got to work closely together when we took the lead on the “Hex Girls” rewrite. Chanel reached out to me during the Snatch Game to provide Emma Roberts GIFs, and that selfless act really impressed me. I PM both girls on occasion, but you’re right: they clearly have a bond that’s different from my bond with either of them.

Still, I don’t see this as a disadvantage at all. I know that they give each other moral support and help each other out in more obvious ways (i.e. discussing their scores in the 1000 Graveyard Dash—it would have been nice to be in on that!), but knowing them, I’m sure they’re still being competitive and only really helping the other to a certain extent. I may not have advice from a fellow competitor, but I have faith in myself and my abilities. This may seem cocky to some, but if Whitney taught me anything, it’s the truth that learning to love yourself is indeed the greatest love of all. I’ve emerged from a rather tumultuous childhood as someone who understands the importance of being proud and confident, and my competitors, whether they are friends or not, don’t make me feel intimidated. Besides, I discuss all my entries with my roommate, and he never steers me wrong!

I would argue that, more than anyone this season, you've been our best representation of a comedy queen. Do you think you're a comedy queen? Or are you more than that?

Next to these other girls, I guess I’m the comedy queen by default! But really, I happen to think I’m pretty funny and am glad the judges have seen that in me too. Carrie has many of my out-of-drag traits, pushed to an extreme. I’m a very optimistic person who finds the humor in every situation. But my IRL ‘community’ is not really one in which I can go around cracking jokes all the time—my grad school peers don’t quite appreciate drag humor! So it’s been a pleasure embodying Carrie Messiah in the game and getting to write humorous entries and hopefully make the judges and my fellow queens laugh.

In addition to being the “comedy queen” of the season, I’ve mentioned several times that I’m the season's “more mature queen.” Part of this comes from my relation to Mariah Carey, a “mature" pop icon with talent/experience the pop gurls wish they had! But it’s also based in probably my biggest insecurity when it comes to ATRL: my age. At times I feel a bit ostracized because I’m older than the average member. I decided to make that insecurity one of my defining features in the game, a game that, oddly enough, celebrates individuality and self-expression, even as we assume the guise of a fabulous drag queen.



In addition to slaying this game, you're also an English PhD student. What kind of time management does that entail? How do you make time to be a queen?

Well, I have a secret weapon up my sleeve that has helped me enormously: an extended weekend. I scheduled my classes (both ones I’m taking and teaching) on Tues, Weds, and Thurs, giving myself a rather long weekend. Most challenges have run over at least one of my weekend days, so I’ve simply scheduled my school work around the challenges. I’m great at time management (you have to be in grad school!), so I’ve just prioritized based on deadlines, whether it’s a school or Drag Race deadline. (And of course, it’s been fun doing the challenges, so it’s often a way to relieve some of my more monotonous homework!) The timing for the end of the game worked out perfectly; in the next few weeks, I won’t have ANY free days as I work on my final papers, so the game is ending at the perfect time!

Is there anything you'd like to ask me, Carrie?

Are you jealous that RuPaul retweeted my joke about Cher?

No frankly, I'm not. Because, unlike you, Cher herself told me I was funny.

---

Well, that about wraps things up, my dear. Good luck, and I'll see you on the main stage.

[feelslikeadream]

Omg Lucky! I've tried to get Cher to tweet me so many times

(Also, I had a different question until the last minute Once the game's over, maybe I'll reveal it.)

[Moonchild]

I consider you a friend as well, Carrie! It's super impressive that you've been able to manage this and grad school all season long.

[Citrus]

---

Episode 13 - The Final Runway
Lunch with Chanel



Well, hi there, Chanel! Come, take a seat and have a Tic Tac. Let's chat my dear.

---

Chanel DiAngelo


You were an early frontrunner in this competition, winning two challenges before most girls had even placed high. Do you feel like this put additional pressure on you, especially when you were just safe for so many weeks in a row?

In some ways, it did. I thought going all out so early would make a point that I'm here and I should be seen as a force to be reckoned with. But shortly afterwards, I fear that I may have peaked too soon. I believe my bottom two placement in the Roast challenge is fair, and I don't care to argue it, but after that, I felt like I was in a slump I likely wasn't going to get out of. I suppose there was pressure to live up to what I started with, but there was a lot more of a drive in me just to show that I'm more than mediocrity in these other challenges rather than letting my early success define who I was. I'm thankful that I got those wins early, though; by my fifth consecutive week of safety, the only thing doing anything for my chart run were those wins, even while I was stuck in a but of a slump of not being anything but safe no matter how hard I was trying to prove myself. Part of that want to prove that I was more than average caused a lot of issues with me, and that's part of why I lashed out at TOO when I thought I was wronged by her. And I think I can tell where a source of a lot of those issues came from, but I think that's a bit more fitting for the next question.

Out of our Top 3, you've been in more tiffs and kerfuffles than the other two girls combined. Why do you think that is? Do you just not get along with the other girls?

My biggest problem, at a basic level, is I tend to let out immediate, irrational and intense reactions to things before I have a chance to think about the things that I'm going to say. I tend to have heightened emotional reactions to things, and that comes from the fact that I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder back when I was in the mental hospital after the incident with my friends in May 2013. I still have very strong feelings about that time back then, and as I've gone through this competition, I've been starting to see a lot of the issues my "friends" had been talking about back then. I think some of their points were fair, but my overall issue with them with this is that they were no better. I know that may not sound like something important coming from me, but I guarantee you, those people, especially at that time, were no better than I was and it was horrifying to see them turn on me when they were the ones coming up with jokes making fun of autistic kids and comparing my body shape to that of Holocaust victims. But I think that night, and the two weeks I spent in the hospital, on top of how those people acted to me after I'd gotten out, has left a major impact on me that I really don't know what to do about. The diagnosis allowed me to realize why I make such quick decisions that are far from the best ones, and it gave some reason for what felt like unexplained emotional instability that I couldn't handle. Even now, I can't handle it, but I feel I have some grasp of why it's happening. But my interaction with those people through all that time leading up to now has made irrevocable changes on me. In real life, I tend to apologize for everything I do, because I fear getting back to the point that I was like with all of them where we were mean and insensitive. I apologize for most everything so that I don't miss a time when I might've actually needed to apologize.

On another note, I legitimately relate to Violet a lot for the issues she had where she was seen as a bitch. Krissie, one of the members of that old friend group who I'm still in contact with, noted the comparison as well, and her reaction to that made me do a lot of thinking. I noted that when she first explained that the things she said either came from a place of humor or a place of truth, and although I don't relate to the latter as much because I don't think I'm in any place to try and "tell someone how it is", I haven't done anything with the sole intention of hurting them. I suppose the closest you could get was what I did to jax., but I regret that. Our relationship stems back to days when we competed in other games, and we've frequently butted heads. I suppose part of the reason I tend to get into these issues here is the environment I'm in; I'm used to aggressive-joking combinations of tone here on ATRL in the years I've been here, and I think that combined with how I am as a person is a nuclear pairing.

But, like I said, I never really wanted to hurt anyone. I don't enjoy fighting. I know it may not seem that way, and it's hard to convince anyone otherwise if they think that, but I legitimately haven't wanted to cause issues. Things just happen. And I'm trying really hard, and working every day, to move on from my own issues. I wish I didn't have such irrational reactions. And I wish I had a better set of skills to help cope with these problems so I wouldn't wind up with the messes I have here. But I'm trying to move on from that. I've been in therapy for a while, and while I'm not in it currently, I've been trying to explain myself to people I look up to and seek help from them, and that's something that has helped. I'm trying to get better, and I just hope that people can see that.

Underneath that flawless face and that steely exterior, what's it really like to be Chanel DiAngelo?

I think a lot of the answers to this one is included above. Borderline personality disorder is something I've studied almost endlessly ever since my diagnosis. It explains a lot about me, and about my issues. It explains why I react harshly to things, and why I say things in the heat of the moment. I don't mean to say BPD defines my entire life; I wish it wasn't that way. But I can't help but notice these patterns that I really am trying hard to break.

In real life, every day's another day of just trying to get by without ****ing up more than I have in the past. I obsess over my looks so that I can't be called out for being a mess there. I apologize for every minute thing and every small annoyance I may cause to people because I know how I was before the hospital trip, and I don't want to fall back into that despite how I may have been coming off here. And in complete contrast to that apologetic behavior in regular conversation, it's putting on a resting bitch face while walking in the halls to mask what I'm already worrying about.
It's not having a certainty in the future that I seem to see in everyone else. It's me realizing that college applications are due soon and I haven't even begun because I don't know what I'll be worth outside of high school or this forum.

I know this just sounds like random bitching about problems that are probably minute in comparison to what other people deal with, but this has been my life for the last two years, and I can barely even remember what it felt like to live how I did before May of 2013. I remember a lot of fun I had around summer of 2010; that's what I've considered the peak of my playful carelessness and social bloom, even though I was ****ing twelve. I reference that year a lot, and I've gotten mocked by people in real life for referencing it, but that year's the only time I remember being completely happy without all the stress I go through today, and I wish I could go back to that. Sure, I was twelve, and I lacked a lot of knowledge, experience and other things (including a style of dress; I actually still wore jeans back then, in contrast to how I dress now) that I feel I have now, but I was happy. But that isn't to say I'm fully-realized now. As I've said throughout these answers, I know I have a lot of work to do, and although the beginning of where to start that work is still blurry to me, I feel I'm at least headed in a right net direction despite setbacks like each little quarrel I've gotten into here.

Is there anything you'd like to ask me, Chanel?

My main question, that I think I even asked after the Stans Behaving Badly fiasco, was if I've ever personally annoyed you, Citrus? Have there been any impressions I've made on you that I could possibly begin to even validate or explain or at least know about so that I could make any progress on them?

Chanel, darling, I need you and every other girl that comes through these doors to know that I am not here to judge you. I am here to help you improve. There is a superstar within each and every one of us, and any messes we get ourselves into along the way to that destiny are just like getting your tires stuck in the mud. There's no point in spinning the wheels forever; sometimes we have to get out of the car and push.

Have there been times where you said things I didn't agree with? Did things I wouldn't have done? Yes, and those things have happened with just about every other girl here and a heck of a lot more people. I didn't respond to that first message when you thought I might be irritated by you because I knew that you were editing yourself in that moment; you were already in the middle of analyzing your behavior and I knew you were making the right decisions. There was no need for me to intervene. If you need to know, the impression that I have gotten from you, Chanel, is that you are a driven and intensely passionate queen who is dedicated to her craft.

---

Well, that about wraps things up, my dear. Good luck, and I'll see you on the main stage tomorrow.

[Moonchild]

Chanel, thank you for sharing your experiences and thoughts here. You have new friends in us and a drag family.

[thecptz]

[C/H/A/N/E/L]

I would argue that, more than anyone this season, you've been our best representation of a comedy queen.

Udders just threw her popcorn at the TV.

But Carrie, I do see you as a friend. I know we haven't had the time to bond properly, but I do like you. I apologize for any tensions we've had (cuz I know we've had a few; I might as well make Bingo Cards for Chanel's Quarrels), and I hope we do become friends after all this.

[keshaspearsxo]

Scarlett:

I've listened to the judges' critiques and tried to improve from their comments, which is all I can do.

I have to say this is very true. You've been a HUGE annoyance asking every week how you can get better scores from me, but it's nice to see.

Carrie:

if Whitney taught me anything, it’s the truth that learning to love yourself is indeed the greatest love of all

omg

it’s been a pleasure embodying Carrie Messiah in the game and getting to write humorous entries and hopefully make the judges and my fellow queens laugh.

you have!

Chanel:

didn't read it

[jpow]

Originally posted by keshaspearsxo

[

Chanel:

didn't read it

[Moonchild]

Originally posted by keshaspearsxo

Scarlett:


I have to say this is very true. You've been a HUGE annoyance asking every week how you can get better scores from me, but it's nice to see.

Thank you, I think?

[C/H/A/N/E/L]

[C/H/A/N/E/L]

I'm looking through all the past entries and all the critiques, and good lord, I never knew I could be nostalgic for something that happened a month and a half ago

Seeing all the entries the very first round...

[Moonchild]

It really has been a fun journey. I'm glad I was able to share it with you girls.

[Moonchild]

Originally posted by C/H/A/N/E/L

I'm looking through all the past entries and all the critiques, and good lord, I never knew I could be nostalgic for something that happened a month and a half ago

Seeing all the entries the very first round...

I know, right? It feels like it happened yesterday in some ways, but it feels so long ago when I think of it.

[C/H/A/N/E/L]

Originally posted by Moonchild

It really has been a fun journey. I'm glad I was able to share it with you girls.

Same for you.

Originally posted by Moonchild

I know, right? It feels like it happened yesterday in some ways, but it feels so long ago when I think of it.

I mean, it feels like this competition's been going on for twelve years, but it also feels like yesterday was when Gina Vitis came back and said "Oh HEY girls! How are we all doing?

EDIT: WAIT! I"M IN THE BOTTOM 2 "

[Citrus]

redacted

[Moonchild]

I'm perched for the speeches.