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Tournament: PLATINUM HIT 8
Member Since: 9/15/2012
Posts: 22,487
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hey
HEY
EXCUSE ME
MY SONG IS "QUIRKY"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!
IS MY SONG A TUMBLR ADDICT?! IS MY SONG ZOOEY DESCHANEL?!?!?!
#FIREGOTSKILLFROMTHEJUDGINGPANELNOWPLEASE
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 3,834
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Yeah. I'm gone  lemme get back to writing album 3. Atleast now I won't have to worry about checking whilst watching my BFs MMA match. Every cloud 
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 476
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Quote:
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Originally posted by Hugamari
48. BlueM – Demons Are Out
You have a good grasp of meter here, for sure; there are some words that I felt were there to fill it, though. You used "but" twice in the span of the pre-chorus, for example. I think for this challenge, it's important that you choose your words for more than to fill a meter, and I don't think you did that at some points. As the song goes, I think it was interesting thematically, and fitting with the season!
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I can't decide whether this review is positive or negative 
I felt like I needed both but's to express the complexity and controversiality of the emotions.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 4/3/2014
Posts: 18,319
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YASSS Stan Meowster
Sam: Positive
Skill: Positive
Huga: Positive
Meowster: Acclaim
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
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Quote:
Originally posted by BlueM
I understand what you didn"t like about gleams, but what do you not like about the nightmare line? I really wanna know so I can try and not include that kind of writing in my forthcoming songs.
I'm glad you liked it tho :')
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the phrase "nightmares of thoughts" doesn't make much sense to me. I get what you were trying to say but from a strictly literary standpoint it doesn't make sense 
Quote:
Originally posted by conatus
Impactnatus.
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Excusez-moi, but Dear God happened to debut the same week as Get To Heaven and dark songs have been my thing since season 5. GotSkill was the original conatus
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 23,393
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27. Buyonce1814 – Bitter Pill
The song does what it sets out to do. You see the hints of regret, sadness, and longing that comes with age and mistakes. Most of the time the phrases worked in tandem; excellent usage of vagueness to some of your ideas and thoughts here. The bridge was very well developed and my favorite part of this track.fit the criteria for this challenge, so thank you for that, and hope to see more in the future.
Thank you for taking the time to review my song. I truly appreciate it. I was actually least sure about the bridge so for you to say it's your favourite part means a lot.
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Member Since: 7/15/2012
Posts: 30,915
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Quote:
34. keshaspearsxo – Of Dreams
This was a simple song that easily fit our word limit. I like what you did with this song and the imagery/words you used to describe things. However, I think you are limiting yourself by sticking to a rhyming scheme so narrowly. You should give yourself some more breathing room to try new things.
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I don't so often stick to rhyme schemes like this. But knowing I was submitting something without a chorus, hook, or any repetition, I knew I needed some key point to stick out. On the flip, my entry last week had very few rhymes.
Thanks!
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 6,127
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welp, at least I know what to watch out for next round (I hope  ) a mess that my tether line is being lashed when I added it last minute. 
I'll try focus more on exploring more imagery and metaphors and not relying on cute rhymes.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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Meowster's Comments
Batch 3
Quote:
35. Witch Privilege – Platinum Hit
the song has some good ideas and comparisons but a large amount felt forced and not entirely matching to the theme of the content. There were some weak phrases in here, like using woodchip to describe someone, or the Uncle Sam line which was fine with its idea but the placement was a bit awkward. You fit the criteria of our challenge by keeping the song under 140 words, so thank you for that, and I would recommend to really work on the fluidity of your lyrics (making sure they always match, feel organic, natural).
36. Colton Haynes – High
"We are on fire and I want to burn tonight" is such a great lyric and also works as a nice little metaphor to being high. The song did the job did it was asked but I think it also could have gone to higher levels. I typically like repetition but I felt like some of the repeating phrases, particularly the main one, were almost a bit unnecessary. But this is just my opinion. High fit the requirements we put out for this challenge and I'm excited to see whatever we'll be getting in the future.
37. wesleywalrus – Center Of The Sun
The biographical approach to this song worked well, I feel, and the vivid descriptions of this man and the world around you created an excellent atmosphere to your song. "You say I'm your Queen, we're out to have some fun" is so appropriately coquettish. Love it. I also enjoy the little pinch of doubt that comes out in the bridge - is this really happening? Could it be? There was a decent amount of repetition within this track regarding the word limit but, overall, it was not a distraction and I pleasantly enjoyed the selection.
38. Tymps. – The Lottery
There is an atmosphere created with the call and response technique you use in your verses; we feel the anticipation, the anxiety, the ridiculous of it all, how different everything can become just overnight. There are also good rhyming examples that might not be the most obvious but stay swimming about in your skull due to the genuinity of it all - such as lotteries and arteries. Like most songs before and after, the song fit the narrative we asked for and stayed within the challenges guidelines. We are excited to hear more from you in the future.
39. Blue. – My Head Is An Animal
Interesting comparison throughout your song. The lyrics tell us of an innate conflict, the inability to feel as truly wild and free as he wishes, instead hoping to turn to pleasure for just a one nights chance. I can hear it amongst several different styles of music. The song had far fewer words than needed for the challenge but told the narrative of his selection well and did a fine job.
40. Moonchild – Over The Moon
I was a big fan of your last song and this one was just as good. The lovely bridge was the standout for me: "you're gone, I've cracked, black tar and dope." Such strong imagery and characterization of the metaphor for being broken up from the love you have. The phrases of your words come so naturally together, never a rhyme forced or thrown in. The song fit our requirement for the challenge by being under 140 words - kudos.
41. ClarksonSlays – Village By the Mountain
Atmospheric and semi-biographical pieces always seem to get to me. There is so much beauty and character within a place, the reactions, the responses, the expectations and failures. This was a good song. I loved how you built up this dreamlike idyllic place and owed it up with stark reality: emptiness, forlornness, loneliness. The song was exactly 140 words and fit within our requirement for the challenge. Looking forward to your next selection.
42. Jack! – I Wish
The strongest part of the song was the chorus. The repetition with the I Wishes did their part in driving home just how important this wish was and the phrases you used to finish these ideas sufficiently gave them purpose. This might just be me but I enjoyed how different your verses were lyrically, they have their own methods, versus the more traditional chorus. Your song was only 117 words, thus fitting in with our criteria for this challenge.
43. MattyTacos – Martyr
Sinister and eerie selection. I enjoyed it. The aspects of revenge really came through with this track, particularly in the bridge, where the narrator is taunting those who have scorned him. Chorus worked very well, line following line, and gave the song the structure it needed to succeed. The song was under our limit and made our guidelines.
44. Marvin – Fading
There were great lyrical choices in here. The shortened meter and syntax added to the effect of jumbled thought and the actual essence of fading. The song is simple but, as I’ve said a couple other times, sometimes simplicity provides a song the right measure of authenticity. You might have been able to get away with adding another verse but, overall, I am pleased with the selection and it matches all the guidelines we have set for this challenge.
45. HausofNiko – Letters for an Empty Heart
So sweet and sad. You did a really good job of building the melancholia here and used specific phrases, such as praying for a sign in the chorus, and following it up with a bridge of defeat and moving on from your past. Letters For An Empty Heart was only 136 words, so it met our criteria for this challenge.
46. Element – Kneel
Kneel was a fascinating track as I felt it explored some themes that are not always dominant within music. It deals with aspects of religion and also aspects of deceit – you speak of hypocrisy that plagues the hearts of so many. The strongest aspect of the song was your pre-chorus, which addressed all of these issues so intricately but poetically. Kneel was less than the word limit for our guideline and actually less words than the author may think if compared to some other works here. Great work.
47. Keshafied – Alone
This song is appropriately gritty and sour. The angst and longing within the tone of the text is so tangible. It’s honest. He “lost to the guy with cocaine” – not an easily thing to admit. Other elements add to the atmosphere you’ve created with this track, such as by heavily drinking, perhaps an ironic showing of their own vices. The song fit in at exactly 140 words, matching our guideline for this challenge, so thank you for that and I wish you luck in the future.
48. BlueM – Demons Are Out
The back and forth nature of this song was really interesting. It really grabbed me and pulled me into the duality of the narrator’s nature. He’s juxtaposed with the thoughts that his lover has of him, good and pure, versus the dark and sinister aspects of himself that he is battling and can no longer completely control. This song fit within our guidelines, just coasting by with 140 words.
49. Nightingale – Flat
This song has such strong verses. They really carry the theme of your selection, struggling with still being hung up over someone who has treated you like **** and finding it within yourself to actually acknowledge their treatment. The additional (and different) touches to your choruses build to this, “still I keep coming back,” “I can’t live like that,” “I won’t fall for that,” symbolizing an ultimate enlightenment. The song was below the minimum for our guidelines and passed with flying colors.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 12,615
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Quote:
Originally posted by KeshasFansRose
Yeah. I'm gone lemme get back to writing album 3. Atleast now I won't have to worry about checking whilst watching my BFs MMA match. Every cloud |
Wait MMA your boyfriend must be cut as ****, get it
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 5,500
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Quote:
23. TheCheetahwings – Duplicity
Duplicity shows us the self-doubt we feel in our relationships, as well as the confusion, and whether or not to feed that doubt. The chorus is vague but I find it a little intriguing at the same time, like it is a mystery of a sort. The song was at exactly 140 words so it met our guideline.
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Yas  I'm glad you liked it.
Everyone seemed to like it so far, hope this will allow me to make it to round 3
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Member Since: 1/2/2014
Posts: 476
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Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
the phrase "nightmares of thoughts" doesn't make much sense to me. I get what you were trying to say but from a strictly literary standpoint it doesn't make sense |
As English isn't my first language, I believe you 
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 3,834
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Thank you judges for your time and feedback to everyone once again.
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Member Since: 8/31/2013
Posts: 17,456
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"Girlicious – Mercury
Is this a song about a period? “I can feel my insides start to bleed” was a bit too gruesome for my taste. The verses were good your meter could use some work. "
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
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I don't think Set Sail's wig is gonna be safe after this round looking at some of these scores.
This really is PH's 25 era.
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Member Since: 1/20/2012
Posts: 27,830
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Quote:
44. Marvin – Fading
There were great lyrical choices in here. The shortened meter and syntax added to the effect of jumbled thought and the actual essence of fading. The song is simple but, as I’ve said a couple other times, sometimes simplicity provides a song the right measure of authenticity. You might have been able to get away with adding another verse but, overall, I am pleased with the selection and it matches all the guidelines we have set for this challenge.
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Is that what critical acclaim feels like? 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 12/2/2010
Posts: 17,916
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Meowster! Thanks for the constructive feedback.
I sent you the link again so you can hear it whenever you have the time 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 22,001
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Member Since: 8/7/2015
Posts: 3,834
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Quote:
Originally posted by 8thPrince
Wait MMA your boyfriend must be cut as ****, get it
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He's a bodybuilder, so basically cut during the summer Just a little match at his gym, I kinda hate watching them. He basically stans bodybuilders like Robert Burneika, Rich Piana like we do pop girls Proud though. Huge arms for me to cry into when I'm eliminated  have mercy on my score, judges
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