[thecptz]

congrats chanel sis!
and congrats carrie

wish you guys good luck scarlet and koko

[Citrus]

@Fefe I would've personally used the With's Ghost and done a pale high fashion drapery look

[Citrus]

And Chanel, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to say all of this. I know this round was rough, and I'm proud of you all for surviving.

[jpow]

Originally posted by C/H/A/N/E/L

Meanwhile, the question that was asked of us on who deserves to make top 3 was looming over our heads the entire time. Even before the question was asked, we thought about it, and worried about our answers. Even before I'd gotten any tea (from Carrie & Scarlett since they talked), I assumed at least someone would say me, and I wondered what kind of impact that would have on the judging. I felt kind of bad for what I said, since it came off abrasive towards both Carrie & Koko (though, from a competing standpoint, I still agree with what I said about Koko; I realize what I said about Carrie was irrelevant to the competition), but it also let out a lot of tensions that I'd had against Koko throughout the competition. I know there's been some beef with me and her and Smarties, and it's been itching at me for weeks. It felt like they were quick to disregard me because of their personal feelings about me, regardless of what the results would show. I grew incredibly irritated with Smarties mentioning of my name and slick comments (as Scarlett knows, because I vented to her in hopes I wouldn't make a mess in the thread like what happened in the past with Wilhelmina), and although I think there's nothing much to cover with Smarties, I thought the answering of the question at least let out some of those tensions with Koko.

When we first started this competition, you were one of the people I felt closest too. But as the game went on, those feelings left as you started to gravitate towards different people in the game. Not that it's a bad thing, but I didn't know what that reason was. I honestly thought it was because of this game, because the people you gravitated to are all in the similar style as you in games such as these. I was more of an outcast, doing things in a different and unique way, with some roughness around the edges as this is my first game to participate in on ATRL.

During the challenge in which you wanted to quit, changed you mind, and then didn't post in this thread for two weeks really made me mad. Because this is my first Games experience, and I didn't see like it was fair at the time to have someone with such contradictory feelings about being in this game when I've been having fun, participating, and enjoying it this whole time. This is why I chose you when asked the question about who should leave, though now I don't hold anything against you for what happened, but it was the only reasoning that made sense to me.

As the game went on, all the people I was left close to got eliminated (Smarties and Carmen to name the two closest). I really felt alone in this game after Carmen's elimination. I didn't talk to anyone during this challenge, just kept to myself and tried to get as much work in with my crazy 14+ hours a day, 7 days a week work schedule. It's not really a good feeling anymore. This challenge, as fun as it was for me to do, lost a part of joy that I had in the rest of the challenge because this thread was dead, and I was doing everything in solitude.

I get this is what happens when games like this reach their end. And after I submitted my post and saw how much you and Scarlett worked together on this challenge, I reached out to Carrie and we talked a bit since at least and Carrie made me feel a lot better.

Anyway, this post doesn't really have a point either, other than I thought going into this we would be a lot closer than this at this point in the competition Chanel. I hope we can resume being as close as we were before this game soon.

I'm currently preparing for what's likely to be inevitable, but I have one more idea/trick up my sleeve to try before the lip sync is due tomorrow.

[keshaspearsxo]

Originally posted by C/H/A/N/E/L

I'll start this off by saying there is no major "point" to this post. I'm not arguing with anything, I'm not trying to make a point, establish something, or anything of the sort. This is just me letting out my thoughts and feelings about this round.

This round started off with high stakes and higher tensions; it was going to make or break some of our chart runs, and us as queens; and it established who the final three was. The stakes are higher than ever with that, and everyone knows that. The contestants know that, the host knows that, the judges know that, and the 4 people who view the thread aside from the players also know that. And because of that, I started off this round with some anxiety that Scarlett knows about because we've grown close throughout this competition and we've come to a point where we talk daily.

I found myself most frustrated with the game at first. It was barely responsive to me, and I didn't know if that was an issue on my end or an issue on the game's end, and I nearly tossed that aside as a pointless part of the round; talking to Scarlett made me realize it was just as important as any of the aspects of this challenge, because it was still 1/3 of it all.

Part two was my most favorite part; I'd put together a few ensembles before for other reasons using Polyvore, and I thought that previous experience would come in handy with that; the results prove that it would. But even then, I was still nervous about how my outfit would be received. I kept changing which villain I wanted to do, because I initially wanted to do something from a feminine character, but grew frustrated with everything I saw. I kept making and discarding entire outfits because none of them made sense to me or were any way pleasing or satisfying. I came upon Lord Infernicus, and I knew instantly I'd use skeletal accessories; I found the shoes next, then based the rest of the outfit around that. In the midst of this, I began helping Scarlett with her ensemble, because she hadn't put together any collages before, so after she'd gotten her pieces chosen, I put them together in Polyvore. And I was confident with both of our entries after that.

Part three was strange. I didn't know what I was going to do a majority of the time we had to work on this; I was extremely anxious about that part the most, because I was clueless. The alliteration of Weeping Wig Wanton came to me first, and I put together the newspaper gig soon after.

Scarlett and I reviewed each other's entries; we were trying to be as critical of each other as we could, because we knew what this challenge meant and wanted to cover our bases as best as we could in case there was any way the judges could come for us. And in the end, we felt generally confident with what we had done, but anxieties soon set in yet again when the entries were posted as we saw Koko & Carrie had drawn theirs. As we discussed in the thread, there were so many ways the judges could take our entries; they could shame Scarlett & I for not being creative enough to draw, or we could still be praised for what ensembles we put together. We worried which way the judges would take that; there was a lot more room for interpretation than there have been in past entries.

Meanwhile, the question that was asked of us on who deserves to make top 3 was looming over our heads the entire time. Even before the question was asked, we thought about it, and worried about our answers. Even before I'd gotten any tea (from Carrie & Scarlett since they talked), I assumed at least someone would say me, and I wondered what kind of impact that would have on the judging. I felt kind of bad for what I said, since it came off abrasive towards both Carrie & Koko (though, from a competing standpoint, I still agree with what I said about Koko; I realize what I said about Carrie was irrelevant to the competition), but it also let out a lot of tensions that I'd had against Koko throughout the competition. I know there's been some beef with me and her and Smarties, and it's been itching at me for weeks. It felt like they were quick to disregard me because of their personal feelings about me, regardless of what the results would show. I grew incredibly irritated with Smarties mentioning of my name and slick comments (as Scarlett knows, because I vented to her in hopes I wouldn't make a mess in the thread like what happened in the past with Wilhelmina), and although I think there's nothing much to cover with Smarties, I thought the answering of the question at least let out some of those tensions with Koko.

And now, with these results... I'm incredibly torn. I'm super thankful for my win. I'm incredibly thankful for that. I don't have many (different) words to say on that other than it means a lot to me. I didn't expect a fourth win; not because I didn't think I wasn't worthy (despite my anxieties), but because I figured the judges would say "let's not give this bitch four wins; someone else deserves another one", and to hear I'd won again was a pleasant surprise. I'm happy with it, and I feeling recognition is something I don't want to turn down. But then the bitterness of my good friend Scarlett being in the bottom set in. Not that I necessarily want to say "Carrie deserves to be bottom 2 more"; I don't mean to say that, but it still hurts to see my friend in the bottom 2 especially when I was somewhat expecting her to snatch this round. And I feel partially responsible for this. When we were going over our outfits, I highly recommended the dress and cape that she chose. There were multiple options for both, and I strongly recommended the ones she went with, and those both got negative comments from the judges for being slightly off in one way or another. And then the game, part one, came into play. At first, I struggled to even get close to her score, but I randomly surpassed it after trying as hard as I could, and she fought to keep up again. I knew it meant a lot to her to keep up this round. And eventually, she tied with the same score as me, and we planned to submit both. But that day, she'd continued to play until she got a score that in fact beat mine; I don't blame her for it, cuz I know she needed it, but we'd agreed to still go ahead and submit the tied scores, and I can't help but think that little boost could've at least helped her a bit.

This whole round has probably been the hardest on me; episode four and episode seven were the hardest before this (and y'all know why; I won't go over it again), but this easily surpassed it. The results are very, very bittersweet, and I wish it wouldn't have to be.

Sorry for the length of this. I realize it's rambling, and I realize y'all probably don't care that much to see my inner dialogue, but it feels better to at least let it out.

The answers to the "who deserves to go" question had no impact on my judging, at least, since I'm aware neither of you who earned the two votes were my lowest scoring. I just judged based on the actual challenge.

However, there was a part at the end where is as judges had to rank you all overall throughout the competition. It didn't seem to play a part there for me, either. In fact, my personal ranking of each of you on the overall was the same as my ranking for this round (which was established by a total of your scores from each part of the challenge).

[C/H/A/N/E/L]

This was gonna be my reunion outfit, by the way, but I changed my mind. I'ma do something else.



Also, my Lit teacher from last year, who stans for Drag Race, has been reading the thread. She said her fave challenge was this & Untucked.

[Vulnicura]

Originally posted by C/H/A/N/E/L

This was gonna be my reunion outfit, by the way, but I changed my mind. I'ma do something else.



Also, my Lit teacher from last year, who stans for Drag Race, has been reading the thread. She said her fave challenge was this & Untucked.

your teacher reads atrl?

[C/H/A/N/E/L]

Originally posted by Vulnicura

your teacher reads atrl?

I showed it to her cuz she asked about my hobbies. She gets a kick out of SYG & this thread, but she doesn't view the site in general or frequently because it's overwhelming to her.

[keshaspearsxo]

Ask her who her favourite judge is (me)

[Citrus]

Wow @ us getting that teacher fanbase. Coming for the union endorsement.

[Joyride]

hello... it's me

[DripDrip]

Am I your teachers favorite

[mxtthewdelrey]

Good luck Koko! I believe in you ♡

[C/H/A/N/E/L]

She loved Udders a lot. I'll ask what she thinks of the judges. She screamed @ "wanton vs wonton", though.

[keshaspearsxo]

Make sure she sees Matthew's drag queen birth video that's my highlight of life

[mxtthewdelrey]

Originally posted by keshaspearsxo

Make sure she sees Matthew's drag queen birth video that's my highlight of life

bye it's literally a trailer for One Born Every Minute with Born Naked dubbed over the top

[keshaspearsxo]

Originally posted by mxtthewdelrey

bye it's literally a trailer for One Born Every Minute with Born Naked dubbed over the top

THATS WHAT MAKES IT SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE I LOVE THAT SHOW

[feelslikeadream]

Originally posted by C/H/A/N/E/L

She loved Udders a lot. I'll ask what she thinks of the judges. She screamed @ "wanton vs wonton", though.

[getback]

come through Koko

[C/H/A/N/E/L]

Originally posted by feelslikeadream

She did! She said Udders was "hysterically funny with varying degrees of intentionality". And then after the lip sync...