[MattyTacos]

Originally posted by Colton Haynes

Is this good? I need constructive criticism please

Release Me

How many times do I have to say
I’m never coming back again
You don’t understand
I try so hard to tell you
But you break me down every time

Why do I keep crawling back to you?
I know you’re not good for me
Why do I keep putting myself through this?
You’ll never have what I need

So just let me go
Release the hold you have on me
Cause I can’t breathe

So just let me be
I don’t wanna take anything from you
I’m scared to run, cause I always come back
But I, don’t want to run this time

This relatable bop. Who would want to be set free from Colton tho



The first verse feels kinda shaky, you should try touching up a few lyrics.

Also it feels a little generic, try adding a theme or a metaphor to strengthen it more.

[ceremonials]

Originally posted by Hugamari

I can't wait til the round is over so I can tell y'all my personal Top 10...or maybe even just my scores in general.

EDIT: @JakeKills my post count has 1989 in it, will I see The Lord's light in this time period?

Why don't we get comments/scores at the same time? To build suspense? Sorry this is my first season

[Hugamari]

Originally posted by Jaxswim

lovesong/Hugamari since yall are here right now, I had a (tragic) prototype version of my song, do yall mind if I post it to tell me what you would have scored it?

I don't really know the rule on "prototype" songs, but I think it'd be better, if anything, if you PMed it. I'd be willing to tell you what I think of it, though.

[Hugamari]

Originally posted by ceremonials

Why don't we get comments/scores at the same time? To build suspense? Sorry this is my first season

It's okay! There's some math that goes into doing the scores up, so the comments are posted first, just to let you guys know whats up while scores are being done and that.

(it also builds suspense yes)

[ceremonials]

Do you guys like this bridge? I'm thinking of changing it cause I don't know if it fits with the rest of the song.

The Flood

But now it's too late
Lightning cant illuminate our skies
The flood has begun.
I know cause I saw it in your eyes.
I was screaming for air
But you held me down
I was crying for help,
But you let me drown
And when I finally got up
You pushed me back in
You knew watching me lose was
The only way you could win
And as I sunk to the seabed
I felt the world move around me
Knew at least if I'd die
Then I'd no longer be drowning
But i freed myself, and weeped
Cause I had been forsaken
Then felt my tears dry
As I watched The Flood take him

[Colton Haynes]

Originally posted by ceremonials

Well it doesn't rhyme but I like it.

Thanks

Originally posted by MattyTacos

This relatable bop. Who would want to be set free from Colton tho



The first verse feels kinda shaky, you should try touching up a few lyrics.

Also it feels a little generic, try adding a theme or a metaphor to strengthen it more.

Thank you Tacohead.

This is a rough draft I wrote up real quick.
Just wanted to see what you guys thought about my writing.

I'll be sure to use your advise.

[Colton Haynes]

Originally posted by ceremonials

Do you guys like this bridge? I'm thinking of changing it cause I don't know if it fits with the rest of the song.

The Flood

But now it's too late, lightning cant light up these skies
The flood has begun. I know cause I saw it in your eyes.
I was screaming for air, but you held me down
I was crying for help, but you let me drown
And when I finally got up, you pushed me back in
You knew watching me lose was the only way you could win
And as I sunk to the bottom
I felt the world move around me
Knew at least if I'd die
Then I'd no longer be drowning
But i freed myself, and weeped cause I had been forsaken
Then felt my tears dry as I watched The Flood take him

Damn *****, this supposed to be a bridge??
Is this a rap song or something?

[Hugamari]

I want to write more With my new-found gay indie aesthetic, I have a lot of room! With my Fairy Tales Under Neon Lights concept, it was a bit more limiting.

[MattyTacos]

Bet you’re feeling loose and tired
But I can take away the pain
Spent here all day with my desires
Can’t do it the old fashion way

[ceremonials]

Originally posted by Colton Haynes

Damn *****, this supposed to be a bridge??
Is this a rap song or something?

Well a second verse/bridge I guess.

It goes. Verse - Chorus - Verse - Chorus, Chorus.

Also what's the swear word, delete it whale

[swiftie13]

Originally posted by ceremonials

Do you guys like this bridge? I'm thinking of changing it cause I don't know if it fits with the rest of the song.

The Flood

But now it's too late
Lightning cant illuminate our skies
The flood has begun.
I know cause I saw it in your eyes.
I was screaming for air
But you held me down
I was crying for help,
But you let me drown
And when I finally got up
You pushed me back in
You knew watching me lose was
The only way you could win
And as I sunk to the seabed
I felt the world move around me
Knew at least if I'd die
Then I'd no longer be drowning
But i freed myself, and weeped
Cause I had been forsaken
Then felt my tears dry
As I watched The Flood take him

Upon my first impression, it reminds me a lot of Flo's fascination with water in Ceremonials

Some parts feel forced but overall it's very much epic. The last couple lines are killer.

[Element]

Wildfire from Demi's new album is a slay

[MattyTacos]

Originally posted by ceremonials

Do you guys like this bridge? I'm thinking of changing it cause I don't know if it fits with the rest of the song.

The Flood

But now it's too late
Lightning cant illuminate our skies
The flood has begun.
I know cause I saw it in your eyes.
I was screaming for air
But you held me down
I was crying for help,
But you let me drown
And when I finally got up
You pushed me back in
You knew watching me lose was
The only way you could win
And as I sunk to the seabed
I felt the world move around me
Knew at least if I'd die
Then I'd no longer be drowning
But i freed myself, and weeped
Cause I had been forsaken
Then felt my tears dry
As I watched The Flood take him

The bridge feels a little too long to the point where it drags on and some parts can be cut but it's amazing

[MattyTacos]

Originally posted by Element

Wildfire from Demi's new album is a slay

The only song I use eve tho I bought the album and use it

[Colton Haynes]

Originally posted by ceremonials

Well a second verse/bridge I guess.

It goes. Verse - Chorus - Verse - Chorus, Chorus.

Also what's the swear word, delete it whale

Ohhhhhh. In that case, I like it.

And it's not even a swear word, ATRL is just mad sensitive.

[swiftie13]

These are my hands, but what can they give me?
These are my eyes, but they cannot see
These are my arms, but the don't know tenderness
And I must confess
That I am usually drawn to sadness
And loneliness has never been a stranger to me...

[Colton Haynes]

BABY YOU'RE ALL I NEED
COME AND SET ME FREE
LIKE A WILDFIRE
LIKE A WILD FIIIIIIIRRREEEE

[Temporal]

Originally posted by Colton Haynes

BABY YOU'RE ALL I NEED
COME AND SET ME FREE
LIKE A WILDFIRE
LIKE A WILD FIIIIIIIRRREEEE

STAN for the best song of Godfident!

[ceremonials]

Originally posted by swiftie13

Upon my first impression, it reminds me a lot of Flo's fascination with water in Ceremonials

She's just obsessed with water in general but yes! Water is one of the themes of my album.

The themes go...

- Beginning (Out of the Light, Prayers and Proclamation)
- Dreams (Parasomnia, Dreamcatcher, Lucid Dream)
- Caralysts (Power Trip, God Complex, Strange Frequencies, Unbound)
- Water (The Flood, Anchor, Empty Planet)
- The Bible (Teatament, Prophet, Saints and Sacrifice, Revelations and No Light)

[MattyTacos]

Originally posted by ClarksonSlays

STAN for the best song of Maleficent!

Fixed