Host commentary: Madge clearly had a few sessions for Rebel Heart where she was feeling sentimental for her Hard Candy days. Likely due to Pharrell's reemergence. Thankfully, she realized this was a bad direction for the album and scrapped these tracks. This one doesn't really go anywhere, but at the same time lasts forever. Plus Pharrell's appearance on the middle eight is more off putting than melodic.
Take It Back guest commentary
Reinvention - What kind of forgettable trash?
170. Incredible
Average - 4.473 Album: Hard Candy Rank within album: 13th of 14
Host commentary: It is fitting that these two 6 minute long Hard Candy-esque monstrosities tied. But I feel bad for Take It Back getting stuck with this garbage. I love me some Frankensteined together pop songs, but this one doesn't work at all and includes some of the worst lyrics of Madonna's career.
Incredible guest commentary
HonourableVomit - This song alone is the reason I hate on Soft Granny. It deserves every piece of criticism it gets for being an uninspired, unintelligent irredeemable pile of crap. What the **** was she ON writing this garbage? The repetitive "get my head around it" is annoying the first time, why do we have to hear it 50 more times? Sex with you is Incredible? Horrible tune, not all catchy and a spectacularly bad FAILURE of a "song". 6 minutes of pain and suffering that I hope I never have to endure again.
Mr. Fahrenheit- This would be improved by about three points if it wasn't so long. Short bursts of mediocrity > This kinda mess.
Lifeline -It was between 'Jimmy Jimmy' or 'Incredible' for my 0. Then I remembered how M tortures is double the length of 'Jimmy Jimmy' on here. There ya go. Her most uninspired mess ever resulting in her most ironic song title ever. Bye.
Subomie - The most done wrong song in her discography. It's like a Girls Aloud lite 'three songs stitched together' type deal. The opening part of it is the worst so I understand the ire, but the rest is legit flawless. The lyrics are deeper than a lot of the rest of the album too.
Quicksand – For a song that’s over 6 minutes long, this doesn’t drag on for me. Truly underrated bop.
two of Alan's faves getting simultaneously punched out.
So officially my taste (Did You Do It?) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Alan's taste (Incredible)
Host commentary: Corny, but kind of sweet. Tbh, I have a tendency to fall for pop star songs about their children no matter how bad they are. I remember loving the snippet to this when that premiered. It has gone down in my esteem since then, but I still like it.
Superstar guest commentary
Mr. Fahrenheit - The only reason this isn't getting the 0 appears on Erotica's explicit edition. Total trash.
Vilppu - A song which could be recorded by Madonna's daughter and it still would be panned for being too childish and bland. Also, the high pass filter <<<<
Lifeline- See the light bishes. I just did in 2015 despite this sounding like the new 'Dear Jessie' on the MDNA snippet premiere on Perez Hilton back in 2012. But it was obviously only sourrounded by bad circumstances. When I saw the song title for the first time it had me thinking M would sing about herself. Yet it was the updated 'Little Star'. But that one can't even afford a melodic chorus yet an Abe Lincoln name drop.
Subomie- Not terrible, but still poor. The sugary sound isn't even the problem with it.
Quicksand– I know so many of the stans hate this song, but I think it’s so cute The fact that Lola did background vocals on this and continued the “Star” legacy :’(
Host commentary: Corny, but kind of sweet. Tbh, I have a tendency to fall for pop star songs about their children no matter how bad they are. I remember loving the snippet to this when that premiered. It has gone down in my esteem since then, but I still like it.
Superstar guest commentary
Mr. Fahrenheit - The only reason this isn't getting the 0 appears on Erotica's explicit edition. Total trash.
Vilppu - A song which could be recorded by Madonna's daughter and it still would be panned for being too childish and bland. Also, the high pass filter <<<<
Lifeline- See the light bishes. I just did in 2015 despite this sounding like the new 'Dear Jessie' on the MDNA snippet premiere on Perez Hilton back in 2012. But it was obviously only sourrounded by bad circumstances. When I saw the song title for the first time it had me thinking M would sing about herself. Yet it was the updated 'Little Star'. But that one can't even afford a melodic chorus yet an Abe Lincoln name drop.
Subomie- Not terrible, but still poor. The sugary sound isn't even the problem with it.
Quicksand– I know so many of the stans hate this song, but I think it’s so cute The fact that Lola did background vocals on this and continued the “Star” legacy :’(
Superstar was a promo single though, so why did we rate it again? Either way, it's great and it was even used on a Bravo commercial so: it >>>>>>>> your flop faves.
Also, to hell with this hoe.
Quote:
Mr. Fahrenheit - The only reason this isn't getting the 0 appears on Erotica's explicit edition. Total trash.
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Take It Back guest commentary
two of Alan's faves getting simultaneously punched out.
