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Fan Base: Archived: Stand Your Ground (#12)
Banned
Member Since: 11/24/2009
Posts: 61,404
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nialler
[Blind Gossip] Lots of wailing and finger-pointing going on at one singer’s PR camp yesterday. The client’s oh-so-carefully crafted and honed reputation suffered a smack upside the head, and she was VERY unhappy about it.
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You know Load wants Nazi DEAD. If she knew 100% that she'd get away with it, she'd hire someone to kill her and I'm not joking.
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Originally posted by HonourableVomit
Madonna will keep going as long as she wants to, and as long as she has things to say. Which she inevitably always will because she's a big mouthed bitch, the reason she got famous in the first place and has had such an enduring career. You also can't "tarnish" a legacy. Michael Jackson lives on as the king of pop music despite the fact he's a kiddy fiddler and everybody knows it.
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It's so annoying when Madonna fans lecture like we're oblivious and need the situation explained.
We know she'll keep doing what she wants, we're saying we and the rest of the world will keep laughing at her.
She has nothing left to say and hasn't had anything to say beside "I'm still hot" in over 10 years.
Her legacy is tarnished. People just really liked MJ for some reason. Probably because he seemed like a victim of his upbringing. Madonna is hated and annoys people.
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Member Since: 8/18/2013
Posts: 8,633
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 41,996
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nialler
[Blind Gossip] Lots of wailing and finger-pointing going on at one singer’s PR camp yesterday. The client’s oh-so-carefully crafted and honed reputation suffered a smack upside the head, and she was VERY unhappy about it.
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Yikes
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Member Since: 9/1/2013
Posts: 17,203
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Quote:
Originally posted by Remixed
Taylord is fine. She is talented and not completely over like Katy and Nicki  |
What an insightful opinion from a Gaga/Iggy stan
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Member Since: 7/9/2010
Posts: 42,506
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Album: 1989
#1 Philippines (+14)
#2 Sweden (+2)
#5 Norway (+4)
#5 Sweden (+6)
#6 Hong Kong (+18)
#7 United States (+1)
#11 Indonesia (+16)
#12 Canada (+3)
#12 Norway (-2)
#13 Australia (+1)
#13 Ireland (+3)
#14 Japan (+13)
#16 Ireland (+4)
#18 Australia (+2)
#19 New Zealand (+19)
#22 United Kingdom (+1)
#29 Mexico (+22)
#30 Hong Kong (+68)
#32 Denmark (-24)
#34 New Zealand (+21)
#37 Netherlands (-8)
#40 Denmark (+8)
#41 Austria (NE)
#42 Thailand (+14)
#43 United Kingdom (+3)
#60 Spain (-8)
#61 South Africa (+52)
#62 Canada (-5)
#63 Brazil (+5)
#73 Philippines (-5)
#79 Netherlands (+27)
#82 South Africa (+38)
#89 France (-19)
#92 Italy (NE)
#101 Germany (-17)
#105 Spain (NE)
#106 Japan (+17)
#107 Germany (+6)
#119 Thailand (+8)
#131 India (-22)
#180 Switzerland (NE)
#180 Turkey (-137)
This album alone has sold more than half of Katy's total album sales
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ATRL Administrator
Member Since: 6/29/2002
Posts: 77,601
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13. Demi Lovato - Cool for the Summer (-2)
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 23,374
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Quote:
Originally posted by Badger
*click*
The camera on Madonna's iPhone 3 (she doesn't feel confident using any newer technology) takes yet another in a long line of selfies over the course of the day. She carefully inspects the result. Her eyes narrow, carefully scrutinising any wrinkles and blemishes she can find on her experienced face. One of her homosexuals passes by and glances at the photo over her shoulder.
"Oh honey that's fine, we can edit those raven feet right out of there" he drawls, carrying a box of glitter and lace bras over to an overflowing closet.
Madonna pouts and throws the phone onto a leather sofa dismissively. "You do it, I can't be bothered to work out the filters right now." Her voice dips in and out of a questionable southern English accent.
"Of course your majesty" her assistant says in mock courtesy. He and the former Queen of Pop both smirk affectionately at each other, before she sends him out of the room and shuts the door with rather unnecessary force.
Madonna crosses the decadent lounge to the computer desk, making sure to avoid glancing into any mirrors on the way. The computer is permanently switched on (to provide ease of access) and she confidently opens up a browser. She briefly scrolls through her Twitter feed, but not for too long; most people bore her dreadfully. She opens up a website titled "kworb.net" which she has bookmarked, and searches for anything with her name on it.
Ctrl+F: No results found
Ms Ciccone tuts loudly, and looks for Rebel Heart, Living For Love, and Bitch I'm Madonna on the various charts. When searching for the latter song, she thinks back fondly to the shooting of its music video (her back and hips twinge as if it were yesterday) She enjoyed "partying it down" with the paid extras, even if she had to endure Rita Ora's desperate and clingy company.
She is outraged at the minimal chart placings her current material is doing, only topping the lists in places like "Andorra" "Sri Lanka" or (she shudders) "Democratic Republic of Congo". Her older material isn't doing much better.
Madonna slams her hands down on the table. "Why aren't people buying my music?!" She exclaims bitterly. "I'm giving them everything they want! Hot beats! Colours and lights! Sex appeal! What more can I do? I even risked my life for the ****ing British wankers!" The English profanity sounds forced in her fluctuating accent. She thinks back in horror to that mortifying evening, and rubs her neck surreptitiously.
The wardrobe team suffered dearly that night - their tortured screams soothed her beleaguered bones.
She returns to Twitter, to see the hashtag "No Sleeep" trending. Curious, she follows a link to view the newly released music video by Janet Jackson. The "Vogue" songstress scoffs, "Why do my failed contemporaries keep trying?" She wonders. "I thought I was rid of that exhibitionist banshee." She clicks play and turns up the speakers.
A cool slow beat fills the room, with smooth and sultry vocals filling the air. As Madonna watches Ms Jackson effortlessly pull off a sexy, classy and sophisticated atmosphere, her eyes widen into a seething glare, her brittle skin tightens and her enlarged cheeks flush.
Her daughter Lourdes, drawn by the pleasant music, enters the room, swaying her body in time with the beat. "Wow mom who is this? You're finally listening to good music for a change."
Madonna whips around. "Don't you have homework to do???" She screeches. "If I ever catch you listening to this narcotic harpy you'll be very sorry!"
Lourdes rolls her eyes and saunters out, taking out her phone to access the iTunes Store and add another sale to Ms Jackson's discography.
Madonna angrily shuts the browser and switches off the computer (successfully for the first time in weeks), storms over to the sofa and drops down onto it, draping a towel across her face to cool her down. As she tries to get the catchy earworm out of her head, one of her purchased African children timidly approaches her, asking for food. Madge sharply informs her that she may receive dinner from the chefs if the houseplants were sufficiently watered.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Nicole
I figured it would work better if from the POV of the help. Finish it:
Alejandra Mendoza (52) climbs the spiraling marble staircase carrying a heavy tray. It's still dark outside. The house feels cold, like its owner. Alejandra is nervous. It's her first day. She has been prepped for this all week by a group of young Latino dancers with rock-hard abs and plucked eyebrows, but she still feels knots in her stomach. Her predecessor, Guadalupe, was unavailable to train her -- she had quit suddenly, after a heavy vase was thrown at her head. Guadalupe did not press charges, because doing so would have meant revealing her immigration status to the authorities.
Alejandra is out of breath when she reaches the top of the staircase. She knows she can't screw this up. Like Guadalupe, she also doesn't have a green card. And she desperately needs this job so she can send money back to Tijuana to her 8 children and 19 grandchildren.
She enters the master bedroom and sets down the tray. From every corner, dead women stare down at her. Large portraits covering the walls: Marilyn Monroe, Edith Piaff, Marlene Dietrich, Jean Harlow, Greta Garbo, Jane Rusell. The effect is unsettling.
Like the lisping dancers had instructed her, Alejandra throws a sheet over every mirror in the large, opulent room. She checks her watch. It's 6am. She walks over to the bed, where a blonde woman sleeps facedown. Alejandra gently nudges her awake. The woman groggily opens her eyes and sits up.
"Oh Señorita Madonna, you is looking so young!" Alejandra says just as the catwalking dancers had instructed, just as she had practiced all week. "Ay Dios Mio, you looks just like the virgin song. I thinking it's 1985!" She crosses herself for dramatic effect, like she just witnessed a miracle from God.
Madonna removes the contraption around her head designed to pull back her skin while she sleeps. She also removes the tape covering and pulling back her frown lines, crows feet, laugh lines and chin.
A bare-faced Madonna regards Alejandra with disinterest.
Ay Dios Mio! Alejandro repeats, but this time in her head. She fights the urge to jump back in fright. She is reminded of the nocturnal creatures in that movie her 12-year-old daughter Maria was watching back in TJ while breastfeeding her son (The Descent).
"Where is my organic Maharaja Chai Rooibos Rejuvenating Black Tea mixed with raw age-defying Moroccan Mint Pu-erh?" Madonna demands in a British accent horrendous in its misplaced dexterity.
"Si Señora," Alejandra says, taking a cup of tea from the tray and handing it to Madonna. A veiny, withered claw snatches the cup from Alejandra.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Badger
The hand retreats, and Madonna sits back into the shadows. Alejandra is unnerved. Despite the aged singer's unsettling appearance, it was far more reassuring if she was visible at all times: the uncertainty of the mistress' mood while draped in darkness chills Alejandra to her very core.
For what seems like an eternity, the maid waits for a sign of approval. Madonna sits up again, her haughty features suddenly reentering the light (Alejandra tries hard not to yelp in surprise). She places the cup down on the tray, and stares into the middle distance. Alejandra waits for her to say something, anything, the immovable mask betrays no emotion. A bead of sweat runs down Miss Mendoza's broad yet maternal face. "Adequate", the Into the Groove singer finally utters. Alejandra crosses herself for real this time.
"Have the children been awaken for their chores?" She asks coldly.
"No, no Mees Ciccone. I shall awaken them now yes?" Alejandra asks breathlessly, eager to flee the oppressing atmosphere of the echoing bedroom.
"Yes. Ensure that they do not speak back to you and keep their voices below seven decibels at all times. If they do not comply, lightly strike them with the back of your hand."
"Si, si señorita." Alejandra nods and bows. She is certainly familiar with physically disciplining her bambinos.
The maid makes her exit, careful not to turn her back towards her mistress. As she awkwardly shuffles away, she catches glimpse of a photo sitting on the flamboyant dresser. It is of an elderly man in a suit, with a portly young woman linking arms with him. Both are holding microphones. Alejandra recognises them as the esteemed Señor Tonio Benetto and the loco chanteuse Stefani "GaGa" Germanotta. The maid has been nursing a crush on Mr Tony her whole life, and enjoys playing his latest album with the Lady at every fiesta she hosts.
Overcome with excitement, Alejandra forgets herself and calls out to Madonna "Oh Señorita! You enchanta Mr Tony as well yes? I play him many times! Mees GaGa as well! So funny!"
As soon as these words leave her mouth, the already chilly room becomes ice cold. Through the dimness Alejandra sees the sharp yellow eyes of her mistress pierce her like a knife.
"EXCUSE ME?" She bellows. "Do not speak to me of those jesters!" In her rage, Madonna's "English" accent disappears completely and is replaced by a broad, unsophisticated Michigan snarl.
Alejandra flinches as though struck. Tears fill her eyes and she profusely apologises in her mother tongue, her pleas for forgiveness intertwined with prayers to God for salvation. She looks at the photo again, only to now notice the words sprawled across it in thick black ink: TO BE DEALT WITH.
Alejandra snaps - nothing is worth this. She refuses to risk her immortal soul with witchcraft and devilry. She will make her living selling souvenirs or cleaning offices, as long as she makes it out of this place unharmed.
She hears the covers of Madonna's bed thrown off as the woman stands, but she does not see it. She has already turned tail and fled, her shoes slapping down on the stairs as she moves quicker than she's ever done in her life.
She passes Lourdes in the hallway, but does not notice her. The teen watches the maid pelt for the main doors, screaming catholic hymns as she goes. Lourdes turns to see her mother descending the stairs.
"That's another one gone mom, good thing we can afford to keep hiring new people."
Madonna rolls her eyes. "I'm thinking of something other than Hispanic for the next maid. I think the Chinese are much more obedient, no? In any case they won't steal the jewellery, they make enough of their own where they're from anyway."
And with that, she returns to the bedroom, intent on spending the rest of the morning searching for mentions of herself on Internet messageboards.
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Reposting these to emphasise Madonna's embarrassing current reputation
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 6,210
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kworb
13. Demi Lovato - Cool for the Summer (-2)
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Cutmi NEVER wins.
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Member Since: 10/10/2011
Posts: 16,324
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Quote:
Originally posted by Brinny Baby
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You don't wanna do this
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Banned
Member Since: 11/24/2009
Posts: 61,404
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You can't post anything outside SYG about CuMadonna w/o getting warned 
I think it's time to look back at the Rebel Queef era.
The era began with ClownM posting pics of leaders like MLK and Nelson Mandella with that stupid **** over their faces.
The result: ClownM being called a racist and kicking off the era with a public apology.
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Madonna Denies Racist Claims After Outrage Over Altered Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Photos
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'I'm sorry': Madonna apologizes for posting altered images of Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela to promote her new album
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Member Since: 7/9/2010
Posts: 42,506
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Katy will struggle to hit 20 million albums sold, with the massive shift towards streaming. She'll definitely never hit 25 million, like Taylor, Beyonce, Rihanna and Gaga have (they each have or are approaching 30 million albums sold). She is the least successful out of the bunch.
She will also never win a Grammy like all of them have.
Well I guess she has Youtube views.
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Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 8,154
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Quote:
Originally posted by Remixed
Katy will struggle to hit 20 million albums sold, with the massive shift towards streaming. She'll definitely never hit 25 million, like Taylor, Beyonce, Rihanna and Gaga have (they each have or are approaching 30 million albums sold). She is the least successful out of the bunch.
She will also never win a Grammy like all of them have.
Well I guess she has Youtube views.
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Poor Lady Gaga.
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Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 23,374
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Banned
Member Since: 11/24/2009
Posts: 61,404
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Next, ClownM released the Diplo-produced Living for Love as her lead single.
She dropped a passé, circa-1994 video and performed the song at the Grammys (a lame, I-guess-that-was-cool-for-the-90s? performance) all in the same week.
The result: the song failed the chart on the Hot 100.
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Member Since: 9/1/2013
Posts: 17,203
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kat
Poor Lady Gaga.
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ATRL Administrator
Member Since: 6/29/2002
Posts: 77,601
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Once sales stop being relevant, people will also gradually stop caring about historical sales, as they won't have meaning anymore. The pop girls will be judged solely by their streaming power.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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I said, "Oh my, what a marvelous tune"
It was the best night, never would forget how he moved.
The whole place was dressed to the nines,
And we were dancing, dancing
Like we're made of starlight
Like we're made of starlight
when will your faves
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Taylor slaying sales + (YouTube) streaming
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Banned
Member Since: 11/24/2009
Posts: 61,404
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Next, ClownM performed Living for Love at the Brits...and fell flat on her face. Because the public finds her unbearable, they laughed and mocked her despite how painful the fall looked.
Madonna LASHED OUT, saying she has it worse than black and gay people.
The following week, Empire, a show about black and gay people blocked her bundled & heavily promoted album from #1 on BB.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 40,803
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Ghosttown >>> Living For Love >>> Bitch I'm Madonna
but I live for BIM's beat
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