11. "Fashion!"
From the first listen I remember thinking "Not another song about fashion..." but then the from minute it got going I was like "waiT" and heard its funky little beat kick in after the piano intro, and the "looking good and feeling fine" line was a bit basic, but I quickly realized how genius it was. The most shocking thing about this song was that will.i.am produced it, or worked on it or something. Eitherway, unlike the career damaging stamp of approval he put on
Britney Jean, this song actually turned out to be one of
ARTPOP guiltiest pleasures. Compared to the high amount of high-energy EDM on the album, "Fashion!" is quite a relaxed moment in comparison. It took me about 5 listens to actually realize there's a male featured speaking French (I think) towards the end, and turns out that's actually will.i.am getting his moment on the album of the millenium!
Can you blame him?
12. "Mary Jane Holland"
Let's be real for a second here - is this one of the best album tracks Gaga has ever made? Highly disputable considering "Heavy Metal Lover", "Scheiße", "Sexxx Dreams" and "Gypsy" exist, but it really is an absolute BOP. The beat goes heavy, the vocals are so multi-layered, the instrumental goes OFF, and the lyrics basically just come for lesser discogs. "Cause I love you better than my darkest sin, Russian hookers and cheap gin." When will Katy? Plus the song also has the award for the most bizarre artRAVE performance where Gaga is stumbling around with those chairs which look cool at times, but basically looks like a VERY bad reenactment of the iconic live performances of Kylie Minogue for "Get Outta My Way" (aka. how to do chair choreo RIGHT, sorry Brit - she stole your crown!) Plus Gaga admits she is "rich as piss" in this song, and then talks about her brunette hair starting to "sprout" which really just gives me gross mental images of her south-mouth tbh.
13. "Dope"
Preferably I'd just skip this ballad because I really don't like it all that much, but for the sake of an album review I will suffer through and get it out to the one stan that will read this. Let's all be frank and admit that "I Wanna Be With You" from Swinefest was a way better version. This song legitimately seems reductive in comparison (get ha Madge stans). Dare I say that it's too honest, and perhaps a bit of dressing up would be nice? I get that it's a true love and "thank you" ballad to Taylor for sticking with her through her hip-breaking incident and recovery when she turned into a "Dope" thing (also one of the more clever moments of the album, having "Mary Jane Holland" just before "Dope"). IDK this song just doesn't do it for me, her vocals sound a bit worn out (all that smoking?
) and I don't really have any connection to the limits. Fortunately none of my issues with relationships have had anything to do with me desperately needing help, and the "I need you more than dope" is probably supposed to be romantic, but it's just like... I certainly would
hope your long-term boyfriend (who's an utter BABE) would be more important than weed.
14. "Gypsy"
I need to stop saying every song is probably the best, but "Gypsy" is probably the biggest hit that got away. Not that I can really imagine that slow intro on the radio - but it's just such a mammoth song, that grows and grows as you listen to it. Few of Gaga's songs really achieve this, "Marry The Night" did it really well. Starts of slow, and just builds up and up and becomes monstrous - it takes a well written, well produced song to do this effectively! And "Gypsy" does it perfectly! The lyrics take you on an emotional roller-coaster, and I have a huge connection to leaving the people you love behind, both mentally and physically. I'm young and I'm not ready to settle, but at the same time I'm terrified of losing the people I love because of my insatiable appetite to see and experience the world. The first listen to this song I had just had a break-up and it was just so emotional, because it was a break-up out of necessity for numerous reasons, but physically being unable to be together was the top 1. The lines "If you'll go with me" and "See the world with me" (which sounds like a question) really hit me in the gut. The things I would do for the people I love to be able to come with me. I absolutely adore the listing of the countries, and there's some really clever moments. Like "Asian (Kanpai!)", "kanpai" meaning "cheers!" in Japanese. Also the "I don't speak German but I try" is a great little nod.
15. "Applause"
This song is just a blatant smash from start-to-finish. It's still pure Gaga with the quirky lyrics, but it really goes HARD from the get-go. Its 8-bit intro gets you ready for some kind of Gameboy world, then the verses comes to snatch, the bridge claims you and the chorus just has so much going on - but in a totally good way. I love how after the 2nd bridge it goes "the applause, applause, applause" and then has a quick little silence before the chorus. That's genius! You know it's a HUGE chorus, and it goes OFF, and you're so ready and that little break in the song gives you the second NEEDED to try and get ready for the imminent SMASH coming your way. The one problem with the song is that it takes like 10 listens to really have a clue what she's saying for the chorus, and I remember it took me a while to even realize she was spelling out "applause" in the background of the chorus. The very last moment when she spells out "A-R-T-P-O-P" is pretty neat, and has iconic choreo too obvi, but the way it says that as the very last moment on the album is very much "That was ARTPOP." There's no "Hope you liked it" about it, it's just "that was ARTPOP, and that was what I wanted". The era mightn't have gone as well as Gaga intended, but the album - I believe that was quite exactly what she wanted.
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