| |
Discussion: ATRL Songwriter's Thread | Jacktrus gain dual #1
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
Deleted my old post for another bump!  Link to sign up for Platinum Hit in the OP!  |
Glad you're back, I was starting to think of backup judges just in case something happened 
I recorded an acoustic version of Strike Twice. Maybe I'll post it 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 6/26/2012
Posts: 3,002
|
Can someone PM me its my first lyrics Ive done and check out my lyrics and tell me what you think ??
|
|
|
|
Banned
Member Since: 10/28/2011
Posts: 21,283
|
Quote:
Originally posted by MusicTalker
OPPOSITION
VERSE I
Looking out the window, defenseless
At this dwindling progression
Of the mistress, the temptress
Getting you to "come get this"
I'm a mess, I'm aggressive
Just a little possessive
But, when your mind is messed with
Wouldn't you feel the pressure?
You're at peace, and in pleasure
Thinking your sinning don't matter
There's got to be some patterns
Broken, cause you can't have her
When there's war, there's a message
You know that I won't take this
There won't be no forgiveness
Just my words, from a distance
HOOK
Opposition
Wrong position
That I've caught you in tonight!
Oh my goodness
Hope you listening
Get no more of what you like!
Your commitment's
To your mistress
Think I'm yours, but on the side!
Oh my goodness
Oh so vicious
Opposition starts tonight
CHORUS
I draw the line, when you cross it
When the devil is knocking
When he's arming his target
So you aim at my heart
Opposition (from me, from me)
Opposition (from me, from me)
Shoot you down, as a warning
But you seem to ignore it
Now my arms are drawn
To the door, you're going
Opposition (from me, from me)
Opposition (from me, from me)
BRIDGE x2
You start to draw out your white flag
Let this thing be the past
You'll probably never be back
Glad I can clean up the mess
All the debris and the rest
Of what was once in the past
You had your fun, and your laughs
So now surrender your act
And make your way to back!
CHORUS
VERSE II
I'm not sorry, no one was hurt but you and me
No pardoning, you'll have to agree
That what you did to me, was all of the reason
To why I would teach him
To not mess with me
CHORUS
HOOK x2
BRIDGEx2 |
This is like really really cute. Throw some nice Pop chords on it and a let a nice spunky-sounding mezzo voice from like the UK slay over it!
|
|
|
|
Banned
Member Since: 10/28/2011
Posts: 21,283
|
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 6,868
|
1989 is really inspiring me. I'd love to write and record tracks that have the same feel and sound as Wildest Dreams, This Love, Clean, and Style. Pop with a bit of twist. I need to start writing!
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
Quote:
Originally posted by seanoh
1989 is really inspiring me. I'd love to write and record tracks that have the same feel and sound as Wildest Dreams, This Love, Clean, and Style. Pop with a bit of twist. I need to start writing!
|
I wrote a song last night thats sonically similar to Wildest Dreams and Clean. But the inspiration is about how everyone else is #1 (like Taylor) and I'm always #2 (like everyone else's faves) 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 6,868
|
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
I wrote a song last night thats sonically similar to Wildest Dreams and Clean. But the inspiration is about how everyone else is #1 (like Taylor) and I'm always #2 (like everyone else's faves) |
I tried to write a song about the stress/rage/anxiety combo I've been feeling for the past two weeks, and in my head it sounds a bit like Wildest Dreams. Kind of dark and Lana Del Rey-ey, but still pop.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
|
I had an idea in my head for a while, kind of an inception like thing...make a romanticized song and name it romanticized. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think after seeing the lyrics it should.
Although you're free to picture it how you want, I wrote this from the perspective of 2 teenagers getting married in one of the quick-marriage things in Vegas then hitting a motel, though obviously I romanticized the lyrics.
Romanticized
Lights danced around us in a midnight rush
We came alive from the feeling of a young love buzz
A whole world of people, all we needed was us
What we lacked in plans we made up in trust
Yeah I remember clearly what had started it all
Every beautiful detail of the glorious fall
You whisked me away to first love’s paradise
You pulled me inside and then time paralyzed
With each word you said I had grown sensitized
That look in your eyes had left me hypnotized
It’s all so much more than I had fantasized
Love...romanticized
Thoughts danced around in the back of my head
I came apart from your touch as we fell in the bed
A whole world of people, I wanted you instead
What I’d lacked in plans didn’t matter then
Yeah I remember clearly how we got to this
Every glorious detail not a one I’d missed
You whisked me away to first love’s paradise
You pulled me inside and then time paralyzed
With each word you said I had grown sensitized
That look in your eyes had left me hypnotized
It’s all so much more than I had fantasized
Love...romanticized
They said we’d never last but look at us now
We’d conquered fate and time, we as one somehow
They said we’d never last but look at us now
We’d conquered fate and time...look at us now
You whisked me away to first love’s paradise
You pulled me inside and then time paralyzed
With each word you said I had grown sensitized
That look in your eyes had left me hypnotized
It’s all so much more than I had fantasized
Love...romanticized
Romanticized
|
|
|
|
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/19/2013
Posts: 56,234
|
Luv it Hug 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 1,742
|
I've been so busy! Lately I've been getting suicidal people talking to me about their problems, so I've started teaching them to put their emotions down on paper through lyrics then ripping it out, rather then self-harming. They said it's helping them a lot, but still struggling. It's heart breaking hearing some of things people have been through though.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 23,128
|
Aww hug I like Romanticized  very nice lyrics
Quote:
Originally posted by Keshafied
I've been so busy! Lately I've been getting suicidal people talking to me about their problems, so I've started teaching them to put their emotions down on paper through lyrics then ripping it out, rather then self-harming. They said it's helping them a lot, but still struggling. It's heart breaking hearing some of things people have been through though.
|
Wow... that's really emotional hopefully you can keep them in good spirits. Normally all they need is a good friend to be there for them yknow. Glad you were able to help them in some way 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/12/2012
Posts: 26,389
|
Quote:
Originally posted by GotSkill
|
This isn't DJ Mustard at all!  You forgot the "aye! aye! aye" chants in every song. 
Nah, but I loved the choir feel to part of it. It was a nice touch.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugamari
This isn't DJ Mustard at all! You forgot the "aye! aye! aye" chants in every song.
Nah, but I loved the choir feel to part of it. It was a nice touch. |
Thanks, I wanted to get a churchey feel to it to (as you'll see if I ever post the lyrics).
It was kinda inspired by Only too so I guess that's why I left out the ayys 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 9/6/2012
Posts: 46,465
|
Warm breath on cold skin,
this blade cuts in too deep,
it's a complaint of the heart,
O Death have mercy.
End
This torment, and
this existence, end... me.
Tight rope around my neck,
yearning for eternal sleep,
tearing body and soul apart,
O Death come to me.
End
This torment, and
this existence, end... me.
I'll turn to dust, distrust,
For life is just, unjust.
Another treason, another reason
to
End, End
This torment, and
this existence, end... me.
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 23,128
|
So I tried to write a song like Boom Clap since it's one of my favs of 2014. I don't like what I wrote, but yet I can't get myself to get rid of the song. idk. Rough draft - it'll probably be scrapped in a few weeks but I kind of like it.
Edit: Actually I really like it  just the word choice I'm so big on that. Everything has to fit into one theme
 Creatures of the Night
[Chorus]
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
[Verse 1]
Wrong or right we both like to pick fights
Like to feel like it’s all our fault
And I know this ain’t what you want
So what are we arguing for
[Chorus]
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
[Verse 2]
Warmer skin keeps on glimmering
I feel you within my soul (my soul)
Sadder days through the glory haze
Of dreams when your life was pure
[Chorus]
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Jezang Looz
So I tried to write a song like Boom Clap since it's one of my favs of 2014. I don't like what I wrote, but yet I can't get myself to get rid of the song. idk. Rough draft - it'll probably be scrapped in a few weeks but I kind of like it.
Edit: Actually I really like it just the word choice I'm so big on that. Everything has to fit into one theme
Creatures of the Night
[Chorus]
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
[Verse 1]
Wrong or right we both like to pick fights
Like to feel like it’s all our fault
And I know this ain’t what you want
So what are we arguing for
[Chorus]
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
[Verse 2]
Warmer skin keeps on glimmering
I feel you within my soul (my soul)
Sadder days through the glory haze
Of dreams when your life was pure
[Chorus]
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
We are creatures of the night
We like to take rise and take flight in the unknown
Starry nights, cold, darken daylights
We like to stay up at night on our own
|
I can feel the beat in this 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 6/7/2009
Posts: 15,638
|
So, my grandmother died unexpectedly and I wrote two songs about it. I think I'll share them soon when I'm done grieving.
I'll be posting a random song soon because I realized that I never posted one here before! It's time to overcome my fear! 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 1/1/2014
Posts: 37,384
|
Quote:
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
So, my grandmother died unexpectedly and I wrote two songs about it. I think I'll share them soon when I'm done grieving.
I'll be posting a random song soon because I realized that I never posted one here before! It's time to overcome my fear! |
Do it! I'll be looking forward to it 
|
|
|
|
Member Since: 6/7/2009
Posts: 15,638
|
I bring you all two songs! Don't judge me too harshly sistrens! 
Turn The Lights Out is about my depression. I wrote it in June/July. I had it for few months last summer due to a really traumatic experience. I see the song as alt-electro pop-rock. It's slow but then builds up and then after the every chorus there's a dance breakdown.
Turn The Lights Out
[Verse #1]
I'm stuck on a train
That never stops
It keeps moving and moving
I’m passing civilization
And I'm vanishing along with the wind
Losing hope in humanity
So I pound on the windows
[Pre-chorus]
But no one turns their head and notice
I scream out loud
My lungs feel like bursting
But no hears a thing
It’s a dark dark dark place
I’m immobilized
Can’t move or run
I’m trapped
[Chorus]
Feels like I'm living in a mad world
The world's passing by
And I can't do nothing
Everybody is going at me
I'm turning crazy
Living in a blaze
I want everything to go away
Go all out
Throw everything out...
Make my life easier
So come on turn the lights out
Come on turn the lights out
[Verse #2]
My eyes pierce and aches
from all the light
In this dark world
I try to cover my eyes
But my arms are being held down
I struggle to break free of these chains
[Pre-chorus]
But no one turns their head and notice
I scream out loud
My lungs feel like bursting
But no one hears a thing
It’s a dark dark dark place
I’m immobilized
Can’t move or run
I’m trapped
[Chorus]
Feels like I'm living in a mad world
The world's passing by
And I can't do nothing
Everybody is going at me
I'm turning crazy
Living in a blaze
I want everything to go away
Go all out
Throw everything out...
Make my life easier
So come on turn the lights out
Come on turn the lights out
[Bridge]
All alone
In this hole
With no sight of life
No way out
I'm...stuck
[Chorus]
Feels like I'm living in a mad world
The world's passing by
And I can't do nothing
Everybody is going at me
I'm turning crazy
Living in a blaze
I want everything to go away
Go all out
Throw everything out...
Make my life easier
So come on and turn the lights out
Come on and turn the lights out
[Outro]
Come on and turn the lights out
Come on and turn the lights out
Come on and turn the lights out
Blue Eyes is about a guy I (used to) like but know is dangerous.
I see the song having an alt folky pop sound like Lana del Rey or something but with more catchiness and receptiveness.
Blue Eyes
[Verse #1]
Blue eyes
Tanned skin
Black hair
Rugged blue and gold t shirt
Chiseled body
Smile so perfect
Never saw something so beautiful
And every time you look at me
I die a little
[Pre-chorus]
I know I'm a real fool
But you melt my heart
And I'm heating (heating heating heating) up
My temperatures rising (rising rising rising)
My heart's fluttering
Like there's no tomorrow
Lost in this fantasy world
Of just you and me
And I think I'm in love
[Chorus]
I better run (run run run) away
Fly (fly fly fly) away
To some place safe and high
Pretend you're drifting (drifting drifting drifting) away
Fading (fading fading fading) away
So I wouldn't get hurt
And heartbroken
By you and your blue eyes
[Verse #2]
One shrug
I'm gone
But one glance
And I'm done
You win me back
Every single time
No matter how much I resist
I just can't help but
Die a little
[Pre-chorus]
I know I'm a real fool
But you melt my heart
And I'm heating (heating heating heating) up
My temperatures rising (rising rising rising)
My heart's fluttering
Like there's no tomorrow
Lost in this fantasy world
Of just you and me
And I think I'm in love
[Chorus]
I better run (run run run) away
Fly (fly fly fly) away
To some place safe and high
Pretend you're drifting (drifting drifting drifting) away
Fading (fading fading fading) away
So I wouldn't get hurt
And heartbroken
By you and your blue eyes
You and your blue eyes
[Bridge]
Your heart’s cold
You walk past by me
Pretend you don't know me for days
But then only to text me tomorrow
To say
How much you miss me
And you wish I could stay
Next to you for life
I I I shouldn't do this but
I
I immediately forget the bad
And forgive you
[Pre-chorus]
I know I'm a real fool
But you melt my heart
And I'm heating (heating heating heating) up
My temperatures rising (rising rising rising)
My heart's fluttering
Like there's no tomorrow
Lost in this fantasy world
Of just you and me
And I think I'm in love
[Chorus]
I better run (run run run) away
Fly (fly fly fly) away
To some place safe and high
Pretend you're drifting (drifting drifting drifting) away
Fading (fading fading fading) away
So I wouldn't get hurt and heartbroken by you and your blue eyes
[Outro]
Don't wanna get heartbroken by you and your blue eyes
Don't wanna get heartbroken by you and your blue eyes
You and your blue eyes
For obvious reasons, I like Blue Eyes eons better. I don't think they're awesome or anything (I'm still making some changes there and there!) but I just thought it was time I shared something of mine after posting here a few times.
I'll be sharing other songs later.
|
|
|
|
|
|
