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Discussion: Is Bullying Worse Today or Are We Too Sensitive?
Member Since: 3/15/2013
Posts: 6,659
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Quote:
Originally posted by Big Smoke
lol @ victim blaming, I swear yall make up these catchphrases now.
You are not a victim if you stand there and no one is restraining you and you actually have an option of removing yourself from a situation
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Are you even sure what you're talking about? When did I mention any scenario?
I'm saying in general how about we stop blaming the people being bullied (victim blaming) and start blaming the bullies? Is that hard to grasp?
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Member Since: 11/4/2006
Posts: 37,808
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I think it's both. Bullying has become worse but today's generation is also too sensitive and think everything is consider. That word has become too loosely nowadays.
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Member Since: 5/4/2012
Posts: 12,811
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Quote:
Originally posted by Corsola
Are you even sure what you're talking about? When did I mention any scenario?
I'm saying in general how about we stop blaming the people being bullied (victim blaming) and start blaming the bullies? Is that hard to grasp?
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Oh yeah Bullies are definitely to blame obviously, but "victims" bear part of it as well.
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Member Since: 8/25/2012
Posts: 30,317
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Quote:
Originally posted by Big Smoke
Oh yeah Bullies are definitely to blame obviously, but "victims" bear part of it as well.
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No they don't. At all.
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Member Since: 1/4/2014
Posts: 31,029
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ressti
No they don't. At all.
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They let themselves become victims though and then revel in the pity they get from it.
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Member Since: 5/4/2012
Posts: 12,811
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ressti
No they don't. At all.
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Quote:
Originally posted by LoveTheWayILie
They let themselves become victims though and then revel in the pity they get from it.
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^^^ What that guy said.
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Member Since: 5/4/2012
Posts: 12,811
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So youre saying if I verbally harass you, and you stay to be verbally harassed by when you can walk away, say something back, punch me in the face, and no one's holding you back, you just sit there and sulk, you dont bear any fault? None whatsoever?
Gimme a break.
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 20,654
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people are being beaten to death because of their social behavior, so I don't think we're too sensitive.
Quote:
Originally posted by bleuwaffle
We're too sensitive.
I can't @ "cyberbullying" though. If you feel threatened on a website, log out.  Simple as that.
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So you think all the hate on the internet just disappears If you log out ? 
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Member Since: 8/25/2012
Posts: 30,317
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Quote:
Originally posted by LoveTheWayILie
They let themselves become victims though and then revel in the pity they get from it.
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Not really.
As a little girl I was bullied or teased for the way that I looked (tbh I get it, I don't look like most girls). Even in my teens boys would come up to me just to crack jokes, then they'd walk away and laugh about it with their friends. I would try to fight back, so I would attack them, physically or say something hurtful to them. But it didn't make me feel better and it didn't stop people from laughing at me.
So then I learned to avoid men and to hide my "flaws" by wearing long sleeves and using make up and that's how I fixed the situation, sorta. But I can't fix the damage that was already done to me mentally. I don't see how I "bear part of the blame". 
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Member Since: 8/25/2012
Posts: 30,317
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Quote:
Originally posted by Big Smoke
So youre saying if I verbally harass you, and you stay to be verbally harassed by when you can walk away, say something back, punch me in the face, and no one's holding you back, you just sit there and sulk, you dont bear any fault? None whatsoever?
Gimme a break.
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You can fight back all you want, but if you're being bullied by more than one person it's not gonna stop by punching someone in the face.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 1,038
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ressti
No they don't. At all.
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Some do actually. In some or even most cases people are victimized and bullied because they allow themselves to be.
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Member Since: 8/25/2012
Posts: 30,317
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Quote:
Originally posted by loveless
Some do actually. In some or even most cases people are victimized and bullied because they allow themselves to be.
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Would you feel comfortable saying this if the thread was about racism or homophobia? The bully is the blame for the bullying.
People aren't allowed to be themselves, they're not allowed to be/ look different, that's why they're bullied. It's no secret that a lot of people are uncomfortable with anything that isn't like them. Maybe it's insecurity or fear, but that's how it is.
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Member Since: 3/27/2012
Posts: 3,188
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Quote:
Originally posted by TikiMiss
That blanket statement is like saying rich people should never be depressed, white people should never be sad, people in developed countries are never poor. Etc
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Let us look at the definition of bullying from dictionary.com
a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
By all means, do tell how anything anyone can do to a celebrity fits the bolded part of that definition.
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Member Since: 5/4/2011
Posts: 20,807
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Quote:
Originally posted by Big Smoke
So youre saying if I verbally harass you, and you stay to be verbally harassed by when you can walk away, say something back, punch me in the face, and no one's holding you back, you just sit there and sulk, you dont bear any fault? None whatsoever?
Gimme a break.
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Not everyone has self-confidence made of steel and it can easily get to a point where the victim believes everything the bully has said to them. It becomes a mentality of "why fight back when they're right?" and if you're in a classroom where you receive those comments everyday and can't really walk away from them the comments are going to break you down bit by bit.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 1,038
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ressti
Not really.
As a little girl I was bullied or teased for the way that I looked (tbh I get it, I don't look like most girls). Even in my teens boys would come up to me just to crack jokes, then they'd walk away and laugh about it with their friends. I would try to fight back, so I would attack them, physically or say something hurtful to them. But it didn't make me feel better and it didn't stop people from laughing at me.
So then I learned to avoid men and to hide my "flaws" by wearing long sleeves and using make up and that's how I fixed the situation, sorta. But I can't fix the damage that was already done to me mentally. I don't see how I "bear part of the blame". 
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Sorry to hear that.
I think what most people are talking about isolated incidences (I.e. one person picking on another person, not a groups of people). I think the only way to combat bulling in scenarios like yours would be to develop tough skin, though that's a lot easier said than done.
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Member Since: 8/31/2012
Posts: 13,110
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Quote:
Originally posted by OprahIsBlack
Let us look at the definition of bullying from dictionary.com
a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
By all means, do tell how anything anyone can do to a celebrity fits the bolded part of that definition.
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So you're saying something like People Magazine publishing unflattering bikini shots or acne photos for millions of readers doesn't have more power/effect than a single millionaire celebrity?
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Member Since: 8/25/2012
Posts: 30,317
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Quote:
Originally posted by loveless
Sorry to hear that.
I think what most people are talking about isolated incidences (I.e. one person picking on another person, not a groups of people). I think the only way to combat bulling in scenarios like yours would be to develop tough skin, though that's a lot easier said than done.
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It's almost impossible if your a child or a teenager.
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Member Since: 4/4/2014
Posts: 1,038
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ressti
It's almost impossible if your a child or a teenager.
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Keyword: "almost". A friend of mine is about 300lbs and probably has more self confidence and higher self esteem than both Beyoncé and Rihanna combined. She not only wants respect, she demands it. And people who don't give to her are simply "haters" or "jealous", as she would call it. She understands (and even taught me) that the only power words have are what you give them. If somebody called you ugly but you know your not, what effect does it have on you?
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Member Since: 8/25/2012
Posts: 30,317
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Quote:
Originally posted by loveless
Keyword: "almost". A friend of mine is about 300lbs and probably has more self confidence and higher self esteem than both Beyoncé and Rihanna combined. She not only wants respect, she demands it. And people who don't give to her are simply "haters" or "jealous", as she would call it. She understands (and even taught me) that the only power words have are what you give them. If somebody called you ugly but you know your not, what effect does it have on you?
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No effect. I know some people who are the same. But what if you do know your "ugly"?
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Member Since: 8/31/2012
Posts: 13,110
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Quote:
Originally posted by loveless
Keyword: "almost". A friend of mine is about 300lbs and probably has more self confidence and higher self esteem than both Beyoncé and Rihanna combined. She not only wants respect, she demands it. And people who don't give to her are simply "haters" or "jealous", as she would call it. She understands (and even taught me) that the only power words have are what you give them. If somebody called you ugly but you know your not, what effect does it have on you?
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that is so true.
And so many times, people are beautiful or ugly depending on how confident they feel in themselves. There are some people that I find so attractive, even though they are maybe just ok looking, because they have so much confidence and personality. There are also people that are so beautiful and attractive, but because of how whiny and insecure they are, I find them disgusting to even look at.
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