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Discussion: Archived: Random Thoughts (#2)
Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 11,302
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Blogs section needs to be restored STAT
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Member Since: 4/10/2011
Posts: 14,331
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Quote:
Originally posted by mikeyace16
Blogs section needs to be restored STAT
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Agreed
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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Quote:
Originally posted by itsAllen
So I have something kind of serious to talk about guys and I could really use your advice, I tried to type out as many details as possible;
Ok so I met this guy on a dating app and we started talking and we webcammed and stuff, not sexually just talking and learning about each other. So we meet for the first time and we start kissing, this was only like my third kiss and then he tells me that he loves me and I say that I love him back. And we keep kissing and I tell him that I want to take things slow and not do anything besides kissing and feeling on each other and he says he agrees but doesnt know if I can resist but he does say that he will never ask me to do anything to hurt him so we keep kissing feeling on each others bodies. Then we go to the movies and during the whole movie we are holding hands and feeling each others legs and arms and at one point he asks me to go to the bathroom which I decline, because I was scared of what he was going to try and do. So then we go back to my car and begin kissing and he tells me to promise him I will never leave him and that he loves me and I agree and say I love him too. I believe love is a strong word but I said it anyways. And then he tells me that he has something important to tell me. He says he was raped when he was younger and became a sex addict and has slept with 88 people but that he has been clean for 6 months and going to therapy and that I am the only person that knows besides his doctor. Girls and guys. And I told him I was so sorry that that had happened to him and he didnt deserve it and that I think he is great, and by this point it was getting late and I said I think we need to go my parents will be worrying about me and everytime I kept saying goodnight he just kept kissing me and advancing on me and then he finally got out the car and said I hope to see you again I had a good time tonight. We are both 18. I texted him later and told him that I want to take things slower and that I prefer hanging out and stuff for a bit first. And he said that he agrees and then asked me to come to his house to cuddle and watch netflix. Of course it is the holiday and I am really busy so I told him perhaps another time. I really want to keep meeting in public places, Oh and he agreed to go get tested with me to prove that he is clean. I am really unsure what to do. Someone please help me.
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This is deep. You really need to figure out how you feel about him. Do you like his company because you're lonely or do you genuinely enjoy spending time with him? Once you've established this you will know whether to go get tested with him and if you're gonna be with him.
In my opinion this guy sounds like he needs proffesional help from a therapist. If you decide to stay with him, help and support him through that.
He also needs to respect that you're not willing to have sexual intercourse with him at this time, if he can't respect that let him go tbh.
Idk if this is helpful or if I read what you said in the right context, but good luck with this 
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 21,866
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Plan on seeing A Madea Christmas tonight 
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Member Since: 4/10/2011
Posts: 14,331
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Quote:
Originally posted by ForeverNow90
This is deep. You really need to figure out how you feel about him. Do you like his company because you're lonely or do you genuinely enjoy spending time with him? Once you've established this you will know whether to go get tested with him and if you're gonna be with him.
In my opinion this guy sounds like he needs proffesional help from a therapist. If you decide to stay with him, help and support him through that.
He also needs to respect that you're not willing to have sexual intercourse with him at this time, if he can't respect that let him go tbh.
Idk if this is helpful or if I read what you said in the right context, but good luck with this |
I genuinely liked the vast majority of the evening, besides the last part when it was difficult getting him out of the car. I actually picked him up at his work and I got there early and talked with him because no one was in the store and he was so just so funny and nice. But back to the last part of the night, I was actually a little worried, but I just really think he is struggling with his previous addiction. And I am frightened he isn't telling me the truth about his status, he drinked behind me at the movies and I know that stuff can pass through saliva, but he didn't tell me until after I already knew that. I shouldnt have did in the first place :/ Also I told him that I wanted to go on the Disney College Program next fall and he said that he wants to go as well and they've already invited him to sing. He has an amazing voice and sings for his church (he is religious but doesn't try to put it on me). I really think he is trying to change, but this is a lot for me, I am completely new to all of this, my first "boyfriend" was long distance and this is so much to take in. And I even suggested therapy and he told me that he is through with it, I would think it would last longer than 6 months?
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Member Since: 3/22/2011
Posts: 26,525
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I was about to use a 10 dollar code on a best buy purchase...like 30 dollars-ish...then they took off the entire 30-ish. So I added more things and ended up only paying $1.20. I hope they don't charge me anything else later. 
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Member Since: 8/17/2013
Posts: 21,866
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Quote:
Originally posted by itsAllen
So I have something kind of serious to talk about guys and I could really use your advice, I tried to type out as many details as possible;
Ok so I met this guy on a dating app and we started talking and we webcammed and stuff, not sexually just talking and learning about each other. So we meet for the first time and we start kissing, this was only like my third kiss and then he tells me that he loves me and I say that I love him back. And we keep kissing and I tell him that I want to take things slow and not do anything besides kissing and feeling on each other and he says he agrees but doesnt know if I can resist but he does say that he will never ask me to do anything to hurt him so we keep kissing feeling on each others bodies. Then we go to the movies and during the whole movie we are holding hands and feeling each others legs and arms and at one point he asks me to go to the bathroom which I decline, because I was scared of what he was going to try and do. So then we go back to my car and begin kissing and he tells me to promise him I will never leave him and that he loves me and I agree and say I love him too. I believe love is a strong word but I said it anyways. And then he tells me that he has something important to tell me. He says he was raped when he was younger and became a sex addict and has slept with 88 people but that he has been clean for 6 months and going to therapy and that I am the only person that knows besides his doctor. Girls and guys. And I told him I was so sorry that that had happened to him and he didnt deserve it and that I think he is great, and by this point it was getting late and I said I think we need to go my parents will be worrying about me and everytime I kept saying goodnight he just kept kissing me and advancing on me and then he finally got out the car and said I hope to see you again I had a good time tonight. I am 19 and he is 18. I texted him later and told him that I want to take things slower and that I prefer hanging out and stuff for a bit first. And he said that he agrees and then asked me to come to his house to cuddle and watch netflix. Of course it is the holiday and I am really busy so I told him perhaps another time. I really want to keep meeting in public places, Oh and he agreed to go get tested with me to prove that he is clean. I am really unsure what to do. Someone please help me.
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Ok so I met this guy on a dating app and we started talking and we webcammed and stuff, not sexually just talking and learning about each other. So we meet for the first time and we start kissing, this was only like my third kiss
and then he tells me that he loves me and I say that I love him back.
As soon as I read this, I knew there was a problem. Too soon
And we keep kissing and I tell him that I want to take things slow and not do anything besides kissing and feeling on each other and he says he agrees but doesnt know if I can resist but he does say that he will never ask me to do anything to hurt him so we keep kissing feeling on each others bodies. Then we go to the movies and during the whole movie we are holding hands and feeling each others legs and arms and at one point he asks me to go to the bathroom which I decline, because I was scared of what he was going to try and do.
So then we go back to my car and begin kissing and he tells me to promise him I will never leave him and that he loves me and I agree and say I love him too.
Too soon 
I believe love is a strong word but I said it anyways. And then he tells me that he has something important to tell me. He says he was raped when he was younger and became a sex addict and has slept with 88 people but that he has been clean for 6 months and going to therapy and that I am the only person that knows besides his doctor.
Too much, too soon
Girls and guys. And I told him I was so sorry that that had happened to him and he didnt deserve it and that I think he is great, and by this point it was getting late and I said I think we need to go my parents will be worrying about me and everytime I kept saying goodnight he just kept kissing me and advancing on me and then he finally got out the car and said I hope to see you again I had a good time tonight.
I am 19 and he is 18.
Why is all of this happening at this age
I texted him later and told him that I want to take things slower and that I prefer hanging out and stuff for a bit first. And he said that he agrees and then asked me to come to his house to cuddle and watch netflix. Of course it is the holiday and I am really busy so I told him perhaps another time. I really want to keep meeting in public places,
Oh and he agreed to go get tested with me to prove that he is clean.
I am really unsure what to do. Someone please help me.
Gyal, you say you want to take things slow, but saying "I love you" to someone who it seems you've only talked to for a few weeks is not taking it slow. He's 18 and you're 19, and you guys are already confessing your love to each other, and not taking it slow. He told you information that he has never told you. It seems as though you guys are going way too fast and are on a course to crash and burn. Tell him that you really want to slow down. Yeah, kissing and eventually having sex is alright as long as it happens naturally on its own. Breathe; take your time, you're only 19.
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Member Since: 6/3/2012
Posts: 11,621
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Alene you sound like me.
Don't burn out.
If you like him make him take it slow.
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Member Since: 4/10/2011
Posts: 14,331
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Quote:
Originally posted by FunkyDinevo
Ok so I met this guy on a dating app and we started talking and we webcammed and stuff, not sexually just talking and learning about each other. So we meet for the first time and we start kissing, this was only like my third kiss
and then he tells me that he loves me and I say that I love him back.
As soon as I read this, I knew there was a problem. Too soon
And we keep kissing and I tell him that I want to take things slow and not do anything besides kissing and feeling on each other and he says he agrees but doesnt know if I can resist but he does say that he will never ask me to do anything to hurt him so we keep kissing feeling on each others bodies. Then we go to the movies and during the whole movie we are holding hands and feeling each others legs and arms and at one point he asks me to go to the bathroom which I decline, because I was scared of what he was going to try and do.
So then we go back to my car and begin kissing and he tells me to promise him I will never leave him and that he loves me and I agree and say I love him too.
Too soon
I believe love is a strong word but I said it anyways. And then he tells me that he has something important to tell me. He says he was raped when he was younger and became a sex addict and has slept with 88 people but that he has been clean for 6 months and going to therapy and that I am the only person that knows besides his doctor.
Too much, too soon
Girls and guys. And I told him I was so sorry that that had happened to him and he didnt deserve it and that I think he is great, and by this point it was getting late and I said I think we need to go my parents will be worrying about me and everytime I kept saying goodnight he just kept kissing me and advancing on me and then he finally got out the car and said I hope to see you again I had a good time tonight.
I am 19 and he is 18.
Why is all of this happening at this age
I texted him later and told him that I want to take things slower and that I prefer hanging out and stuff for a bit first. And he said that he agrees and then asked me to come to his house to cuddle and watch netflix. Of course it is the holiday and I am really busy so I told him perhaps another time. I really want to keep meeting in public places,
Oh and he agreed to go get tested with me to prove that he is clean.
I am really unsure what to do. Someone please help me.
Gyal, you say you want to take things slow, but saying "I love you" to someone who it seems you've only talked to for a few weeks is not taking it slow. He's 18 and you're 19, and you guys are already confessing your love to each other, and not taking it slow. He told you information that he has never told you. It seems as though you guys are going way too fast and are on a course to crash and burn. Tell him that you really want to slow down. Yeah, kissing and eventually having sex is alright as long as it happens naturally on its own. Breathe; take your time, you're only 19. |
I know, I shouldn't have said it. I get that, but I didn't know what else to say. I know that I didn't mean it, and I told him that I want to learn more about each other first.
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Member Since: 4/10/2011
Posts: 14,331
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Thank you guys for your advice btw.
So what should I do next? Should I initiate and a conversation again and plan a meeting at the mall or something later this week? I definitely dont think I should go to his place.
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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Quote:
Originally posted by itsAllen
I genuinely liked the vast majority of the evening, besides the last part when it was difficult getting him out of the car. I actually picked him up at his work and I got there early and talked with him because no one was in the store and he was so just so funny and nice. But back to the last part of the night, I was actually a little worried, but I just really think he is struggling with his previous addiction. And I am frightened he isn't telling me the truth about his status, he drinked behind me at the movies and I know that stuff can pass through saliva, but he didn't tell me until after I already knew that. I shouldnt have did in the first place :/ Also I told him that I wanted to go on the Disney College Program next fall and he said that he wants to go as well and they've already invited him to sing. He has an amazing voice and sings for his church (he is religious but doesn't try to put it on me). I really think he is trying to change, but this is a lot for me, I am completely new to all of this, my first "boyfriend" was long distance and this is so much to take in. And I even suggested therapy and he told me that he is through with it, I would think it would last longer than 6 months?
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Gyal, if that man is making you feel frightened, scared etc, you need to get the **** out 
And he HAS to go to therapy if he wants to be with you, because he sounds lost and troubled
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Member Since: 4/10/2011
Posts: 14,331
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Quote:
Originally posted by ForeverNow90
Gyal, if that man is making you feel frightened, scared etc, you need to get the **** out
And he HAS to go to therapy if he wants to be with you, because he sounds lost and troubled |
Thank you for your advice. Do you think I should hangout with him one more time and see how things go? And I know for a fact he feels troubled cause he told me "I wish I wasn't so screwed up." And I suggested he go see a professional but I'm sure that costs money that he isn't in the position for
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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Quote:
Originally posted by itsAllen
Thank you guys for your advice btw.
So what should I do next? Should I initiate and a conversation again and plan a meeting at the mall or something later this week? I definitely dont think I should go to his place.
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If you're not comfortable around him at his own place, then you should probably call it quits, sis.
Or your man needs to go to therapy if you genuinely want to be with him 
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Member Since: 8/4/2012
Posts: 23,716
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Quote:
Originally posted by FunkyDinevo
Plan on seeing A Madea Christmas tonight |
You should it was so sick!
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Banned
Member Since: 7/21/2012
Posts: 4,698
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Quote:
Originally posted by mikeyace16
Blogs section needs to be restored STAT
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when is it coming back? 
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Banned
Member Since: 7/21/2012
Posts: 4,698
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omg do u guys have a love and hate relationship? good things is you see your family presents and its the happiest time of the year, then the bad parts are people, traffic, and people annoying you every second about gifts
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Member Since: 5/29/2012
Posts: 26,389
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Quote:
Originally posted by kyleaustin
omg do u guys have a love and hate relationship? good things is you see your family presents and its the happiest time of the year, then the bad parts are people, traffic, and people annoying you every second about gifts
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no, not at all!
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Member Since: 10/5/2009
Posts: 137,162
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Banned
Member Since: 7/21/2012
Posts: 4,698
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did h-i-m get ban 
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Member Since: 3/14/2013
Posts: 19,449
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My grey hair are starting to show again
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