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News: "Your children are too fat, so you'll never see them again"
Member Since: 3/30/2009
Posts: 79,408
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"Your children are too fat, so you'll never see them again"
Quote:
Originally posted by The EU Times
Parents of seven told: "Your children are too fat, so you'll never see them again"
Torn apart: The parents, far left and right, with six of their children who they fear will be taken away from them
Four obese children are on the brink of being permanently removed from their family by social workers after their parents failed to bring their weight under control.
In the first case of its kind, their mother and father now face what they call the ‘unbearable’ likelihood of never seeing them again.
Their three daughters, aged 11, seven and one, and five-year-old son, will either be ‘fostered without contact’ or adopted.
Either way, the family’s only hope of being reunited will be if the children attempt to track down their parents when they become adults.
The couple, who have been married for nearly 20 years and are not being named to protect their children’s identities, were given a ‘draconian’ ultimatum three years ago – as reported at the time by The Mail on Sunday.
Warned that the children must slim or be placed in care, the family spent two years living in a council-funded ‘Big Brother’ house in which they were constantly supervised and the food they ate monitored.
But despite subjecting them to intense scrutiny, social workers did not impose rules on what food the children should eat, and there was apparently little or no improvement.
News of the decision to remove them was broken to the couple, from Dundee, on Tuesday. Critics called it a disgraceful breach of human rights and a chilling example of the power of the State to meddle in family life.
In an emotional interview, the 42-year-old mother said: ‘We might not be the perfect parents, but we love our children with all our hearts. To face a future where we will never see them again is unbearable.
‘They picked on us because of our size to start with and they just haven’t let go, despite the fact we’ve done everything to lose weight and meet their demands. We’re going to fight this to the bitter end. It feels like even prisoners have more human rights than we do.’
The couple have not committed any crime and are not accused of deliberate cruelty or abuse. Their solicitor, Joe Myles, said there was ‘nothing sinister lurking in the background’ and accused social workers of failing to act in the family’s best interests.
‘Dundee social services department appear to have locked horns with this couple and won’t let go,’ he said, adding that the monitoring project caused more problems than it solved. ‘The parents were constantly being accused of bad parenting and made to live under a microscope.
'We have tried very hard to do everything that was asked of us. My wife has cooked healthy foods like home-made spaghetti bolognese and mince and potatoes; but nothing we’ve done has ever been enough.'
The couple have three older children who are all distraught and angry at the ruling.
Speaking through tears, their 15-year-old daughter said: ‘The social workers should hang their heads in shame. A person’s weight is their own business and only we can do anything about it, not them. My parents are good people and they love us all. The four little ones don’t know what is about to happen to them.’
While the couple admit experiencing what their lawyer calls ‘low grade’ parenting problems, which would have merited support, they were aghast when the issue of weight was seized on as a major concern.
A council report at the time said: ‘With the exception of [one of the names], the children are all overweight. Advice has been given regarding diet but there has been no improvement. Appointments with the dietician have been missed.’
At that point their then 12-year-old son weighed 16 stone; his 11-year-old sister weighed 12 stone; and his three-year-old sister weighed four stone. It is not known how much the four younger children weigh now.
The couple were ordered to send their children to dance and football lessons and were given a three-month deadline to bring down their weight. When that failed, the children were placed in foster homes but were allowed to visit their parents.
After the couple objected to this arrangement, the council agreed to move them into a two-bedroom flat in a supported unit run by the Dundee Families Project. They insisted on the couple living with only three of their children at a time.
At meal times, a social worker stood in the room taking notes. Doctors raised concerns that the children put on weight whenever they spent time with their parents, a claim they vehemently denied.
The couple and their children also had to adhere to a strict 11pm curfew. This involved ‘clocking’ in and out by filling in a sheet held by an employee who lived on site.
Although the children’s weight was the major concern, other allegations were included in a report. It showed that social workers were worried when the youngest child was found crawling unsupervised. The parents point out they were never far away and the flat had no stairs.
They also found her ‘attempting to put dangerous objects’ in her mouth. The family say this is natural in toddlers and she was never successful.
To have a social worker stand and watch you eat is intolerable. I want other families to know what can happen once social workers become involved. We will fight them to the end to get our beloved children back.
Social workers were further worried when she crawled through the contents of an upturned ashtray – an ‘unfortunate one-off incident’, claim the parents. All the concerns were dismissed by the family’s legal team as ‘low grade’ problems.
It is understood the father crumbled under the strain of being so closely monitored in January this year and moved into a council flat elsewhere in the city.
In the next few months, the mother breached the lunch and dinner meal observations, by her own admission, on ‘several’ occasions while taking the children to see their father.
She personally never broke the 11pm curfew but once allowed her seven-year-old daughter to remain at her father’s flat after she fell asleep. She did not want to disturb her and argued the child had ‘two parents, not one’ and was in ‘good hands’.
These breaches led staff to declare the trial a failure and the mother was asked to leave the unit in April this year. She moved in to her husband’s flat but the children were then handed over to foster parents.
Her solicitor said he planned to use independent experts to prove that the children want to live with their parents and have been damaged by the social workers’ intervention. He added: ‘We may ultimately look towards human rights laws.’
‘The pressure of living in the family unit would have broken anyone. We were being treated like children and cut off from the outside world. To have a social worker stand and watch you eat is intolerable. I want other families to know what can happen once social workers become involved. We will fight them to the end to get our beloved children back.’
It is estimated 26 million British adults will be obese by 2030, with obesity levels running at an all-time high among children. Official statistics show those who are overweight spend 50 per cent more time in hospital, placing extra strain on the NHS.
Tam Fry, honorary chairman of the Child Growth Foundation, said: ‘This is a disgrace. These parents have clearly attempted to comply. They have, if you like, played Dundee City Council’s game and yet they are still losing their children.’
Dundee City Council said: ‘The council always acts in the best interests of children, with their welfare and safety in mind.’
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I cannot believe that they are calling separating kids from their loving family "acting in the best interest of children."
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Member Since: 9/11/2010
Posts: 10,985
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My God.  How can this be legal?
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Member Since: 3/30/2011
Posts: 6,553
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I don't think this is right, but at the same time, these damn parents were given TWO YEARS in a state funded house and monitored, surely they knew it was serious? Without the costs of paying for a house surely they had extra money to pay for healthy food and they did nothing to stop their kids becoming fatties? 
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Member Since: 3/21/2010
Posts: 19,112
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where is this at?? This can't be legal.
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Member Since: 3/30/2009
Posts: 79,408
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bdawg
where is this at?? This can't be legal.
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UK.
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Member Since: 9/24/2008
Posts: 14,256
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You have to be cruel to be kind. Obviously this isn't an ideal situation, but their kids health is in jeopardy if they stay with their parents.
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Member Since: 9/13/2009
Posts: 22,181
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It's not so hard I think.

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Member Since: 4/2/2011
Posts: 1,374
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I read this a few months ago. 
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Member Since: 4/28/2011
Posts: 26,425
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It is bad, but then you can't keep you're children like that. If the parents aren't going to help themselves, then the kids obviously won't see any reason to. The buck lies with the parents tbh. They're essentially killing the're children

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Member Since: 10/27/2010
Posts: 3,113
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It's so cruel. How can this be legal!!?? It really depends on individual metabolism. Some kids, No matter how much they eat, they will still be fat.
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Member Since: 12/9/2007
Posts: 9,007
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Quote:
'We have tried very hard to do everything that was asked of us. My wife has cooked healthy foods like home-made spaghetti bolognese and mince and potatoes; but nothing we’ve done has ever been enough.'
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That's your problem right there. Maybe if the social workers guided them to a more nutritious diet (they obviously are ignorant to what's healthy and not) things would have worked out differently. I can't see how this is legal though. If the parents/kids want to be fat, let them. It's a nice gesture trying to help them out, but you can only help people so much, and it sounds like the social workers did more harm than good.
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Member Since: 6/18/2011
Posts: 4,229
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Quote:
Their three daughters, aged 11, seven and one, and five-year-old son, will either be ‘fostered without contact’ or adopted.
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this is just sad...so sad.
but the parents are also to be blamed though. 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 11/12/2009
Posts: 1,374
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Quote:
Dundee City Council said: ‘The council always acts in the best interests of children, with their welfare and safety in mind.’
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 I don't see how stealing the children away from their good parents is in the "best interests of the children"
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Member Since: 4/22/2009
Posts: 11,768
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Quote:
Originally posted by Duca
UK.
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Member Since: 8/10/2010
Posts: 9,489
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Member Since: 3/4/2011
Posts: 13,093
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Parents that allow their children to become obese are dumb, but taking the kids away from them is a bit severe..
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Member Since: 11/2/2009
Posts: 19,838
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This is foul, now the kids might be put into abusive foster homes.
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ATRL Moderator
Member Since: 11/1/2010
Posts: 26,750
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Quote:
Originally posted by Celestial
You have to be cruel to be kind. Obviously this isn't an ideal situation, but their kids health is in jeopardy if they stay with their parents.
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Basically this.
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Member Since: 6/30/2010
Posts: 22,080
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Quote:
'We have tried very hard to do everything that was asked of us. My wife has cooked healthy foods like home-made spaghetti bolognese and mince and potatoes; but nothing we’ve done has ever been enough.'
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Member Since: 8/22/2011
Posts: 27,495
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Quote:
Originally posted by Celestial
You have to be cruel to be kind. Obviously this isn't an ideal situation, but their kids health is in jeopardy if they stay with their parents.
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