yeah there is a name for it.
INTERNALISED HOMOPHOBIA
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Soul search sweety, influences from a hetero centric world can mess ones perception of self.
The environment you grew up in, whether on tv etc was always against being gay. This affects how you see gay men, they'll always be wrong.
Not everyone will be self accepting by the age of 12, we are all different in our psychological strengths, some are weaker in mind and easily influenced by authority figures or society in general, you may have no control over that bit but when you mature, you work hard to undo the damage.