Um, no sweetheart. We are not talking about encouraging our children to do drugs or have sex. Are you crazy?
We would simpy not go the typical parenting route and tell them "No no no! this is my house blah blah yah yah!" like most parents do which causes their children to rebel. There are exceptions but it is a fact that a child is more likely to try something after they've been repeatedly told no. I'm not gonna tell my child they have to wait til a certain age to do this or that, or that they can't do this or that. I would set rules but I would not be overbearing or make my child feel like a prisoner of war.
And if they come to me with a question about something I wouldn't encourage it or disapprove of it. I would let them know that they are young and I know they would be curious about trying certain things but also that they would need to be safe about it and not let it affect their lives. This is the part where I would educate them on whatever they're curious about rather than still telling no.
You got my thoughts right on. This is exactly how i'm going to be with my kids.
But basically, what I say is when it comes to ****, I won't be checking my kid's computers like that, so I don't wanna know. My kid better learn how to be slick with that. When it comes to sex, I'll let them know that I'd rather they'd not, but if they must, just be safe. And don't do it in my house, because that's just disrespectful. When it comes to drugs/alcohol/smoking, let them know that that's not tolerable at all. Point blank.
That's about it.
Maybe I'm reading wrong, but it sounded like y'all were saying that you'd tell them that doing certain things is okay, when it's definitely not. Like, I swear one of y'all said something about showing your kids how to roll a damn joint. Like, NO.
I agree that constantly telling a child no is not the way to go. But you shouldn't have to. There's examples all around us every day of why drugs, alcohol, and smoking are bad. If you point those out to your children all through their life, just casually whenever it should pop up, it will become ingrained into their minds and when the kid grows up, he's going to always have those examples in his head when he comes in contact with those things.
Kids hate for their parents to be disappointed in them. Let your kids know that them doing those kinds of things will not only lead to those sad and horrible examples, but will also lead to you being disappointed in them. Convey this without being strict and overbearing. All of that, plus good education and a loving environment, and your kid's set to make good decisions.
I hope that makes sense.
IDK where you got that rolling that a joint mess from but Korean & I both agreed that we would take a more relaxed and positive approach in regards in questions and curiosity concerning sex/drugs/alcohol. It isn't about showing your kids you're "okay" with it, but showing them you can still be relatable and that they can talk to you about anything instead of presenting yourself as some kind of enforcer.
If my child asks me about sex I'm going to tell them about it. If they show interest in engaging in sexual activity I will educate them on it and give them the proper protection. That's better than them learning/getting it from one of their irresponsible friends or someone on the street.
Drugs can be tricky but the average kid isn't asking their parent about hardcore drugs or anything life threatening. There is really nothing you can do other than educate them on drugs. You can't "protect" them from drugs.
As for alcohol lots of parents let their teens get a sip and some even have a drink with them at home. I honestly see nothing wrong with that. Better than out in the street or at a club someone getting a drink from a shady character that could be laced with god knows what.
Different strokes for different folks I guess, but I will never be "no" type of parent because I've seen the results.
You got my thoughts right on. This is exactly how i'm going to be with my kids.
I mean we are/were teenagers so we know goes on.
IMO peer pressure is likely to increase the chances of drugs/sex/alcohol. Everyone else is doing it and apparently that's the "cool" thing to, but if you raise your child to be their own person you probably won't even have to have these conversations unless they just ask your opinion on it.
I guess **** is not a good way parents would want their children to see/learn what sex is about (or anyone for that matter).
That being said, they should just educate their children about it so **** will not turn out to be so addictive and amusing when they watch it, because (from personal experience ) seeing people having sex, without any knowledge about what's going on there, is really hooking at that age.
) seeing people having sex, without any knowledge about what's going on there, is really hooking at that age.