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Discussion: Hilarious Amazon.com user reviews
ATRL Moderator
Member Since: 8/4/2009
Posts: 21,911
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I allow MTV, Simon Cowell, and my local DJ to do my thinking for me
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these people will be banned from Amazon XD 
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Member Since: 12/6/2011
Posts: 1,899
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Quote:
Lady Gaga - The Fame
lady gaga makes andy warhol roll over in his grave. her voice is fairly average...miss lady "i wanna take a ride on your disco stick" gaga likes to state that she has too much integrity to ever sing a song live. like anyone with such artistic integrity would touch upon the topics gaga goes for. your first single was all about getting trashed, sweetie. you arent special. you arent unique. lady gaga takes the art of faking it till you make it to the max. for a lesson in pure delusion...check out the paparazzi video. girl, you aren't madonna and your album hasnt even sold a million. sit down.
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Lady Gaga - The Fame
I think the conversation went something like this:
Madison Ave. Exec1: "We need a new something *new*, we're not making enough cash with the current crop of plastic pop-stars. I want a new yacht darn-it!!"
Madison Ave. Exec2: "How about we get a singing dog or monkey? I mean, once we're done re-mixing the sound, the monkey will sound just like Brittany Spears."
Madison Ave. Exec1: "That IS Brittany Spears.. I have a better idea, I was doing some drugs with this hooker last night and I stepped on her foot. Her screaming gave me an idea, let me call her.."
LATER THAT DAY IN Madison Ave. Exec1's OFFICE:
Prostitute: "So, ya want me to do you here?"
Madison Ave. Exec1: "No, I want you to 'do' the whole country!"
Prostitute: "Whah? You crazy!"
Madison Ave. Exec1:"Stand in front of this microphone while I turn on this drum machine"
*THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM*
- Madison Ave. Exec1 steps on the prostitute's foot
Prostitute: "AAAAAAAAgh, OOOOOOOOH, OWWWWIIEEEAAAAHHH"
*THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM*
"AAAAAAAAgh, OOOOOOOOH, OWWWWIIEEEAAAAHHH"
Madison Ave. Exec2: "You're a genius!! I'll hire the backup band!"
Madison Ave. Exec1: "Are you kidding, we have a drum machine and some computers. WE DON'T NEED MUSICIANS". *kicks the prostitute*
Prostitute: "AAAAAAAAgh, OOOOOOOOH, OWWWWIIEEEAAAAHHH"
*THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM*
"AAAAAAAAgh, OOOOOOOOH, OWWWWIIEEEAAAAHHH"
Madison Ave. Exec1: "Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching baby, Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-aha-ha!!"
= AND THAT IS THE ORIGIN OF LADY GAGA
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skfjlajcklajl
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Member Since: 11/20/2011
Posts: 5,980
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Quote:
Teenage Dream
I love Katy Perry more than anything in this whole universe and with all my heart and soul. The reason is that this woman is a bona fide virtuoso, gifted songwriter, even more gifted composer, and just an all-around national treasure!! She makes Barbra Streisand, Cher, Madonna, Carly Simon and Aretha Franklin all look like a bunch of insignificant children auditioning at a high-school talent show next to her!
Teenage Dream is appropriate as the title for her new CD--which me and all of my girlfriends camped out overnight for, waiting in line at the front doors of our local Wal-Mart--because Katy Perry is gifted at identifying with and innately knowing the problems of teenage girls. Due to that, she's an excellent role model for teenage girls everywhere (not like that woman of easy virtue called Bristol "Preggers" Palin).
This unshakable fact of her being one of the best role models in the entire US for teenage girls was already demonstrated without question in one of 2008's most monstrous hits, that wonderfully written, intelligently composed, and smartly lyricized "I Kissed a Girl!" Remember when she sang--in her redundant repetition, nasal delivery and flat tone--"I Kissed a Girl...and I...LIKED it!?" over and over and over and then still over again, in that song which seemingly had only that one line as its words?
Well, through that song, she was benevolently alerting teenage girls of all shapes, colors and sizes (proving how unifying she also is) to the pure, hardcore pleasures of girl-on-girl sex, something I support 100%, by the way. Like a good role model, she was showing teenage girls that they could be non-conformists by lusting after Allison while also having a steady boyfriend in Greg! This liberating message clearly catapulted her to the forefront as the voice of a whole, new generation of teenage girls, eclipsing other, wholesome role models like Britney Spears and even surpassing Madonna at the height of her fame as the voice of women everywhere.
As a parent, I'm happy to report that her good role model tendencies continue on this sex-obsessed album, especially on songs like "Last Friday Night," with its hedonistic glorification of having a menage-a-trois, one night stands with strangers you pick up at a bar, and nude streaking through public property, and the even better example of her good role model qualities, the song called "Hummingbird Heartbeat," which is all about getting teenage girls to lose their virginity like it's a cheap commodity to be traded away for some smokes and Hello Kitty merchandise.
So to sum up, as a parent, I'm thrilled with Katy Perry because she really seems to take her role model duties seriously, not like those suggestive s l u t s like Susan Boyle, Charlotte Church, and the worst of all them s l u t s, that no-good female kid from goth-group Evanescence. As a pure music fan and connoisseur of tasteful music, I worship the ground Katy Perry walks on due to her extremely complex arrangements in her songs, her very metaphorical lyrics that could even teach the band Tool about profound references, and, sweetest of all, her endless talents where she plays several instruments without even having gone to music school! Finally, as a heterosexual male, when I am intimate with Mrs. Doctor Ali, I think of Katy Perry in her place. Yes, I do.
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Oh My Gosh. 
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Member Since: 7/18/2010
Posts: 29,717
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Originally posted by Sye
skfjlajcklajl
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likjurjdkjyhuwebdnkdcfjhnjwemsx
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Member Since: 11/28/2011
Posts: 10,662
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Bahahahaha this is a great thread!
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Member Since: 2/24/2012
Posts: 30,779
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sye
Quote:
Lady Gaga - The Fame
I think the conversation went something like this:
Madison Ave. Exec1: "We need a new something *new*, we're not making enough cash with the current crop of plastic pop-stars. I want a new yacht darn-it!!"
Madison Ave. Exec2: "How about we get a singing dog or monkey? I mean, once we're done re-mixing the sound, the monkey will sound just like Brittany Spears."
Madison Ave. Exec1: "That IS Brittany Spears.. I have a better idea, I was doing some drugs with this hooker last night and I stepped on her foot. Her screaming gave me an idea, let me call her.."
LATER THAT DAY IN Madison Ave. Exec1's OFFICE:
Prostitute: "So, ya want me to do you here?"
Madison Ave. Exec1: "No, I want you to 'do' the whole country!"
Prostitute: "Whah? You crazy!"
Madison Ave. Exec1:"Stand in front of this microphone while I turn on this drum machine"
*THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM*
- Madison Ave. Exec1 steps on the prostitute's foot
Prostitute: "AAAAAAAAgh, OOOOOOOOH, OWWWWIIEEEAAAAHHH"
*THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM*
"AAAAAAAAgh, OOOOOOOOH, OWWWWIIEEEAAAAHHH"
Madison Ave. Exec2: "You're a genius!! I'll hire the backup band!"
Madison Ave. Exec1: "Are you kidding, we have a drum machine and some computers. WE DON'T NEED MUSICIANS". *kicks the prostitute*
Prostitute: "AAAAAAAAgh, OOOOOOOOH, OWWWWIIEEEAAAAHHH"
*THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM-BOOM-THUMP-THUMP-BOOM*
"AAAAAAAAgh, OOOOOOOOH, OWWWWIIEEEAAAAHHH"
Madison Ave. Exec1: "Ka-Ching, Ka-Ching baby, Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-aha-ha!!"
= AND THAT IS THE ORIGIN OF LADY GAGA
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skfjlajcklajl |
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Member Since: 12/5/2011
Posts: 58
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Justin Bieber offends my sensibilities!
With his raunchy lyrics--like in his overplayed and redonkulous song "Baby," when the lyric goes "Are we an item?"--and his derogatory, disrespectful references to females by calling them "Baby," he really has made a musical enemy in me. What is Bieber insinuating when he sings, "Are we an item?" I mean, c'mon! My ultra-fundamentalist way of looking at the world makes me think that Bieber is insinuating that teenage boys and girls should be dating and "having relations" before they are married!?! What is that, I ask any concerned parent out there, huh? Further, I'm outraged that he would derogate the whole female gender so disrespectfully when he uses the dismissive term "Baby"--which he even repeats dozens of times in his scandalous and also monotonous and unimaginative excuse for a song--to address his typical, vapid, female listener. I strongly object to the term "Baby" because that objectifies all females when females should be respected as the guardians of the household exclusively and persons who can cook and clean foremost!!
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Member Since: 8/18/2010
Posts: 5,070
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Originally posted by Murakas
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WTF
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Member Since: 12/8/2011
Posts: 9,050
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The Femme Fetale Review
The 21 review 
these people don't hold in what they have to say, bad or good 
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