Oprah Winfrey and friend Gayle King want to be clear: they're not gay.
In the August issue of O, the Oprah Magazine, the talk-show host explains that some people misunderstand her close friendship with King.
"I understand why people think we're gay," she says. "There isn't a definition in our culture for this kind of bond between women. So I get why people have to label it — how can you be this close without it being sexual?"
In a long article, Winfrey, 52, and King converse about their 30 years of friendship and "four-times-a-day phone calls."
The two friends say they would have no problem telling the public if they were in a sexual relationship.
"The truth is, if we were gay, we would tell you, because there's nothing wrong with being gay," says King.
Says Winfrey: "Something about this relationship feels otherworldly to me, like it was designed by a power and a hand greater than my own. Whatever this friendship is, it's been a very fun ride."
On The Early Show Tuesday, sociologist Jan Yager, who's been studying friendship for 20 years and written several books on it, told co-anchor Hannah Storm, "Whether you are Oprah or in the hundreds of surveys and interviews I have done over the years, you are a CEO or administrative assistant, friendship gives you that acceptance, that peer acceptance. Usually, it's a same sex acceptance. So it can actually be restoring the mother-daughter bond that wasn't there, and reaffirming someone.
"Also, I think someone that high up like Oprah has to be careful who she lets into her inner circle. So, I call them nostalgia friends. It's someone who is tried and true, who has been there, who remembers you, and in the article, it talks about how, you know, when they started out, Oprah was so amazed that Gayle King grew up with a pool in her backyard, because Oprah grew up poor."
But Yager took issue with some comments in the article from Oprah about marriage.
"What disturbed me," Yager said, "is that Oprah states she doesn't think there's such a thing as unconditional love in a marriage. You certainly can (find that in a marriage). You don't have to bad-mouth marriage because you are saying great things about friendships. They can co-exist. Both relationships are important. But they give people different things at different times in their lives."
Oprah never married, King is divorced and a single mother.
Oprah also says, "In a way, our friendship is better than a marriage or a sexual relationship."
Yager commented, "When I started my research, I came to it having written a book, "Single in America." At that time, singles were the underdog in America. Sadly, the tables have turned. Now, everyone is saying singleness is great. And we actually have more singles than married. So it doesn't have to be one or the other."
Perhaps, Storm suggested, your spouse could be your best friend.
"My spouse is," responded Yager, "but I also have a lot of great friends, and that's what people have to know: You can have both."
I wasn't thinking about it ,but hmmm.
. What a power couple that would be. But no, of course not. The tabloids are at it again
, and she couldn't give a damn what people thought of her.
