Nicole, I despise you for saying that a baby was on the way a few weeks ago. She was spotted going to a doctor's office yesterday, wearing a loose shirt, and holding an envelope on her way back.

There's a small possibility that she's not fertile and there's a big possibility I'm going to hell. A pregnancy could explain the forced engagement. On a bright side, she looks hot. On an even brighter side, she's not wearing an engagement ring.