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News: Open Letter to Parents: Your Kid Might Be Gay
Member Since: 12/13/2009
Posts: 14,460
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Open Letter to Parents: Your Kid Might Be Gay
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Your child might be gay.
I'm not talking about your neighbor's kid or your cousin's kid, and I'm not even talking about my kid (although they are certainly included). I'm talking about your kid. Your kid might be gay.
You may want to protest:
"My son doesn't like show tunes. He likes football and Legos."
"My daughter doesn't play softball. She loves princess dresses and pink."
"My son has a girlfriend."
"My daughter has a boyfriend."
"My child is too young to think about those things."
Well, I am here to tell you that none of those things matter.
Sure, some gay people might fit into certain stereotypes, but not all... and probably not even the majority. Lots of gay boys like playing in the mud with sticks and listening to rock 'n' roll. Lots of lesbian girls like ballet dancing and painting their fingernails. None of those things define anyone's sexuality.
Even if your child is a toddler, his or her sexual orientation may already be firmly in place... not that they are thinking about it yet.
And sure, your son or daughter might have the correct heterosexual-designated partner right now, but that doesn't mean they always will.
How do I know your kid might be gay? Your child is a human being. Depending on what research you have in front of you, you'll find that between 3 and 10 percent of human beings happen to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. And there is no way to know for sure, and there is definitely no way to change it.
So why am I telling you all this? Because I think it is high time for all of us parents to start thinking about what we say.
A man wears pink, so we call him a "sissy." A woman is powerful and strong, so she's called a "****." An athlete gets hurt, and we say he needs to "walk it off and stop being such a ***." An attractive woman is at the park with her girlfriend, and we comment, "All she needs is a real man."
We need to think about what we say even when we call our son's female friend his "girlfriend," or when we call our daughter's male friend her "boyfriend."
Some of these things are downright offensive and violent. The last pair could be said in all innocence. But all of them send the same message to a gay child: there is something wrong with you. And that's a message gay children (and adults) hear loud and clear.
I would like to think that some people don't notice homophobic hate speech when it flies out of their mouths, or at least they don't think it matters. Well, it is there, and it does.
So, the next time something lame happens and the words "that's so gay" are about to come out of your mouth, take a second to think. Look at your child and think. Do you want your kid to think, indeed know, that there is something wrong with them? After all, they heard it straight from Mom and Dad.
The idea of having a gay child scares a lot of parents. They want their kids to be happy. They want them to be healthy. They want them to grow into successful adults, who go on to create wonderful families of their own.
Being gay doesn't take any of those things off the table. Heck, if we all work hard enough against hate in this country, they could even legally give you the white wedding you have always dreamed of.
All parents have dreams for their children. Heck, I have a ton. But we can't let our dreams for them become more important than who they are and what they want for themselves. Our children aren't little photocopies of us. They are their own unique people who have a path all their own.
So stop, think, and shut your mouth. And then the next time you are out and about, and another adult calls someone a "******," open it. The person you are defending could be your own kid. Make certain your child knows being gay isn't bad, and maybe, just maybe, they won't feel the need to hide if they are. And then they'll have a better chance of growing up into that happy, healthy adult you dream they will become.
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Very interesting and true.
Reading this comment really got to me..
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As a parent of two, I have only one word of advice. Relish the time you have with your children. I have been a Christian all my life, and as I look upon my autumn years I have one regret. My oldest son came out to me in the 80s, and because of my own conflicts and stubbornes*s with his sexuality, we became estranged for many years. He went on to adopt two girls with his partner, and passed away in 2009 in a car accident. We had only started to make amends. Now, I think about him every day and wish I had been a better, more loving father in the years we missed together. I do not know what others believe, what others will say to me about this. But regardless of what you believe, life is frail. Love your kids. Love them tenaciousl*y. Feast on their lives with them. Enjoy all you can. There is not enough time. I believe I have made a mistake in my life that I will answer for before the Lord when I leave this earth. My son left me with two beautiful granddaugh*ters and an amazing son-in-law*. Please do not make the mistake I have. Do not waste your time not loving, accepting, cherishing and being proud of your children, gay, straight or whatever. If you bring a family into this world, you are entering a life long collaborat*ion. Make it joyful. Rise above fear, hate and anger.
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"If you bring a family into this world, you are entering a life long collaboration. Make it joyful. Rise above fear, hate and anger."
THOUGHTS?
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Member Since: 5/1/2011
Posts: 9,640
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Well, i just turned 19 and i'm hoping that my mom will understand, at the moment it looks like she doesn't (even though i KNOW she'll support me, i know it's going to be tough on her  ) she doesn't know i'm gay, my 3 older brothers practically know i'm gay looks like they're cool with it, they always joke about it, i just hope to find the right words when i tell my mom that i'm gay, this article gave me a few words to make her understand better, i just wan't to scream MOM I'M STILL ME! I'M NOT GONNA START WEARING HEELS AND LIPSTICK AND CHANGE MY PERSONALITY! THIS IS THE WAY I DRESS AND THIS IS THE WAY I TALK I'VE NEVER LIED TO ANYONE! I JUST NEVER SAID THAT I LIKE DICK!
I wanna make them understand that me being gay won't change nothing.
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Member Since: 5/28/2010
Posts: 29,225
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Member Since: 12/13/2009
Posts: 14,460
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Quote:
Originally posted by EOMM92
Well, i just turned 19 and i'm hoping my mom will understand, at the moment it looks like she doesn't (even though i KNOW she'll support me, i know it's going to be tough on her ) she doesn't know i'm gay, my 3 older brothers practically know i'm gay looks like they're cool with it, they always joke about it, i just hope to find the right words when i tell my mom that i'm gay, this article gave me a few words to make her understand better, i just wan't to scream MOM I'M STILL ME! I'M NOT GONNA START WEARING HEELS AND LIPSTICK AND CHANGE MY PERSONALITY! THIS IS THE WAY I DRESS AND THIS IS THE WAY I TALK I'VE NEVER LIED TO ANYONE! I JUST NEVER SAID THAT I LIKE DICK!
I wanna make them understand that me being gay won't change nothing. |
You're going to make me all emotional.
Come out when YOU feel it's time. When you're ready. Yes, your mom might take it hard but through time things will get better.
I HATED being stuck in the closet.
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Member Since: 5/28/2010
Posts: 29,225
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Quote:
Originally posted by EOMM92
, i just wan't to scream MOM I'M STILL ME! I'M NOT GONNA START WEARING HEELS AND LIPSTICK AND CHANGE MY PERSONALITY! THIS IS THE WAY I DRESS AND THIS IS THE WAY I TALK I'VE NEVER LIED TO ANYONE! I JUST NEVER SAID THAT I LIKE DICK!
I wanna make them understand that me being gay won't change nothing.
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We feel the exact same way. My mom is not the brightest crayon in the box so she thinks every gay guy is the stereotypical queen that acts all girly and ****. I just want her to realize that I'm still the same me and always will be. I will have the same personality and I will continue to dress the same. I won't turn into this flaming gay. I feel like that's her biggest fear about me being gay is that I'll turn into a queen.
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Member Since: 8/24/2008
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Member Since: 4/2/2011
Posts: 1,374
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I agree with all of you.
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Member Since: 12/13/2009
Posts: 14,460
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deuces.
We feel the exact same way. My mom is not the brightest crayon in the box so she thinks every gay guy is the stereotypical queen that acts all girly and ****. I just want her to realize that I'm still the same me and always will be. I will have the same personality and I will continue to dress the same. I won't turn into this flaming gay. I feel like that's her biggest fear about me being gay is that I'll turn into a queen.
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Not gonna lie. A hidden queen lies within. She only comes out at times. 
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Member Since: 10/19/2011
Posts: 2,753
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 i find it offensive when they say me **** or gay when i get hurts or when i don't pay attetion to sports
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Member Since: 6/28/2009
Posts: 6,960
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheMusicProphet
Come out when YOU feel it's time. When you're ready. Yes, your mom might take it hard but through time things will get better.
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This. Some of my friends pressure me and are persistent on me coming out to my parents, they just don't understand. It's not that simple.
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Member Since: 5/17/2010
Posts: 21,708
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The comment from the father was beautiful.
Ivan, where the **** you been?
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Banned
Member Since: 12/27/2011
Posts: 858
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Member Since: 12/13/2009
Posts: 14,460
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Quote:
Originally posted by BIAATCH
i find it offensive when they say me **** or gay when i get hurts or when i don't pay attetion to sports |
Just be you and forget the rest.
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Originally posted by Vixens
...I didn't read it.
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Gerl, you want a cookie?
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Member Since: 5/1/2011
Posts: 9,640
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheMusicProphet
You're going to make me all emotional.
Come out when YOU feel it's time. When you're ready. Yes, your mom might take it hard but through time things will get better.
I HATED being stuck in the closet.
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Of course sis i've always been a really strong **** 
Lately i've been feeling like that day is coming 
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Member Since: 12/13/2009
Posts: 14,460
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Quote:
Originally posted by SwagLikeALegend
This. Some of my friends pressure me and are persistent on me coming out to my parents, they just don't understand. It's not that simple.
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I was mortified when I came out, but when I did I felt this huge relief. A part of me I didn't have to keep hidden anymore.
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Originally posted by ****y On Venus
The comment from the father was beautiful.
Ivan, where the **** you been?
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lurking in the shadows
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Member Since: 5/1/2011
Posts: 9,640
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Quote:
Originally posted by Deuces.
We feel the exact same way. My mom is not the brightest crayon in the box so she thinks every gay guy is the stereotypical queen that acts all girly and ****. I just want her to realize that I'm still the same me and always will be. I will have the same personality and I will continue to dress the same. I won't turn into this flaming gay. I feel like that's her biggest fear about me being gay is that I'll turn into a queen.
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IKR!!
I know my family will all ditch the gay stereotype crap with time, but i know it will be tough in the beginning.
I'm ready sis :tank:
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Member Since: 5/28/2010
Posts: 29,225
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheMusicProphet
Not gonna lie. A hidden queen lies within. She only comes out at times. |
True. But she will only come out with friends. I highly doubt she will come out when with my parents. 
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Member Since: 5/17/2010
Posts: 21,708
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Quote:
Originally posted by TheMusicProphet
lurking in the shadows
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Member Since: 5/28/2010
Posts: 29,225
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Quote:
Originally posted by EOMM92
IKR!!
I know my family will all ditch the gay stereotype crap with time, but i know it will be tough in the beginning.
I'm ready sis :tank:
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I'm not ready yet. I've been waiting till I go to college. But good luck, I wish you the best. 
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Member Since: 2/11/2008
Posts: 10,964
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I think that, just as a couple of you have stated, it's the fact that many people believe that if you're gay/lesbian, you'll change and act as a queen or tomboy, when it's not.
It's just the same people, with a different sexual orientation, and that's not gonna change anything. they are still persons.
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