these sites are ****ing hilarious
http://betcheslovethissite.com/the-betch-list/
http://www.broslikethissite.com/2010...full-list.html
SAMPLES
from "Betches Love"
#5: Diets
When betches are sitting around doing what they do best, #1 talking ****, one of their favorite things to do is point out the recent weight fluctuations of other betches. Jamie’s face looks totally bloated lately, she should really be holding the dressing on that salad! Sucks for her! OMG, all that food Brittany ate when she went #3 abroad went straight to her thighs! Yuck!
While a betch will not eat for days because “nothing tastes as good as thin feels,” it’s hard to conjure up that inspirational picture of yourself when you had mono in 11th grade, if you’re blackout drunk and Domino’s is on the way (get the door!!). Do the calories count if I don’t remember!? Nahh!
Sometimes a betch will achieve the holy grail of betchdom, and actually lose a few pounds and look better. (Side note: no matter how skinny a betch is, she will always claim to be on a diet. The marginal 1% of betches, the fat ones, are kept around to make the others feel good about themselves, and to eat their leftovers to dispel the eating disorder rumors). Most of the time, a betch’s weight loss will be met with resentment from her “besties,” who will comment that she looks “too thin, flat chested, and no guys like her anyway.” This is most likely to be the situation if a betch’s weight loss actually resulted in her becoming the SKINNIEST BETCH IN THE FRIEND GROUP!! This would be considered unacceptable and will increase the time spent #1 talking **** about her behind her back.
From "Bros Like"
#37: The Designated Obnoxious Fat Friend
Everyone knows all groups of hot girls have one fat ugly friend, better known as the Designated Ugly Fat Friend (DUFF.) This friend makes the hot friends not only feel hotter, but better about themselves because guys will always hit on them rather than the fat girl for obvious reasons. It really is a symbiotic relationship though, as the DUFF will actually get ass they would never have a chance of getting simply because the bro going for the hot girl will inevitably have a wingman who will “jump on the grenade.”
Like everything in life bros have a counterpart to whatever bras throw at them, and like everything else, this counterpart is bigger and better. The DOFF, short for the Designated Obnoxious Fat Friend. Every group of bros has at one time had some sort of a DOFF. He’s the guy who not only makes you feel better about your fledgling alcoholism, but makes you much more attractive in comparison. Here are some staples for any solid DOFF:
tooo true