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ATRL: Would You Ever Say "I Love You" to Someone First?
ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/8/2006
Posts: 42,086
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrPeanut
There is no love in Chem's heart.  |
Maybe deep down in my heart 
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Member Since: 5/27/2010
Posts: 37,025
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chemist
Maybe deep down in my heart |
No, only indigestion.
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Member Since: 7/10/2010
Posts: 9,489
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If they tell me they love me in less than a week than iam breaking up with them. But i give it atleast a month+ before i say them words 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/8/2006
Posts: 42,086
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrPeanut
No, only indigestion. |
Are u willing to make me vomit it
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Member Since: 5/27/2010
Posts: 37,025
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Quote:
Originally posted by Chemist
Are u willing to make me vomit it |
This is getting weird.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/8/2006
Posts: 42,086
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrPeanut
This is getting weird. |
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Member Since: 10/10/2009
Posts: 10,662
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ra2
If you feel it, you ought to express it. That's how I am. :X
I can't say that it always turned out great for me, but I always stand by how I feel and by what I think. I have certainly been the first person to say it. It was a big deal to me. I can't say that it brought to fruition of a bountiful romance, however.
Regardless, the next point I'd like to address is the, "What if the person in question does not reciprocate?"
That point is null and void. Love is audacious. Love is brave. Love is fearless. The biggest part about love is expressing it and making yourself vulnerable even when you're brain is telling you that you ought not to. Love is an unconditional gift that you give to another by surrendering your own human ego.
So, I think, if you truly feel that way, then you should let him know how you feel. You never know when your last moment will be and it is important to let people know that they matter to you. It is a magical thing, and it can make all the difference to someone.
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While beautiful in spirit, it's unrealistic to think you can just proclaim your love for someone in the name of "love is beautiful and life is short". If they don't feel the same then the aftermath can easily be the deterioration of the relationship, as they'll now be under the impression that the two of you are on totally different wavelengths, among other conclusions they may draw.
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Member Since: 3/18/2011
Posts: 8,234
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Quote:
Originally posted by inspiration4
While beautiful in spirit, it's unrealistic to think you can just proclaim your love for someone in the name of "love is beautiful and life is short". If they don't feel the same then the aftermath can easily be the deterioration of the relationship, as they'll now be under the impression that the two of you are on totally different wavelengths, among other conclusions they may draw.
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Well, then in that case, would it not mean that it is merely unrequited love?
I don't see how that's complicated.
There's nothing wrong with being in love with someone that doesn't love you back. It's certainly not healthy, agreed; however, it's not like it doesn't happen to a lot of people.
(Also, would it not be a good thing to find out that you're on different wavelengths instead of assuming that you are on the same one?)
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Member Since: 3/4/2011
Posts: 3,981
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Quote:
Originally posted by esteee12
you are saying in general? i think so? But I'm not that sort of guy who go around and get myself attached that easily. If i have no feelings for that guy, what's the point of having a relationship in the first place? |
Well, me too. I don't get attached for many guys...like I said the last time was 2 years ago. But, when it happen, it's kinda strong and fast 
And many people are in relationships without even being in love. That's commun. I've had 2 boyfriends in the past but only really loved one of them.
Quote:
Originally posted by KoreanDream
I normally am not the first person to say it because it takes me forever to say it. It's just such a strong phrase.
And **** you for using that Francisco gif! He's too perfect.  |
LOL. Francisco <3 I know he's perfect
Quote:
Originally posted by Vertigo Stick
I'm probably the first to think it, but to say it? I haven't.
My boyfriend said it first, at the right time. I had been thinking about it for a few days, wanting to tell him. I was afraid I'd get "Thank you!" But instead one night we were cuddling, he said my name and I said "what?" Then he said it.
So I say, say it when you know! Though it doesn't matter who says it first, as long as you say it/show it.
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Yeah, to show it is more important IMO. Like I said, one guy told me once "I love you" and I responded "me too" without even meaning it. So it's not better..
But sometimes, you just feel like screaming your love to the entire world 
Quote:
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
AGREED. I'm not saying or doing anything until my guy do it first. I think I have trust issues too. I'm definitely the girl in the relationship.  |
I wouldn't say I'm the girl  But it's always a nice feeling to have your man take a little bit control of those issues 
Quote:
Originally posted by inspiration4
Saying "I love you" is actually the easy part, the hard being whether or not you can determine if the feeling is mutual, and how to approach the situation.
I would revise my original statement and say man up and take the initiative. Tell him exactly how you feel. However, don't just say " i love you" and leave it at that. Afterwards, go into detail as to why ... ( "you really make me happy, I feel best when i'm with you, etc) so that it's easier for him to digest.
Also, if you're unsure how he feels, after uttering the magical words maybe say something along the lines of " I'm not expecting you to feel the same way, but i want to be honest with you about how i feel" so that he doesn't feel the need to reciprocate, which could lead to extreme awkwardness when it's all said and done.
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The point is that if he doesn't feel it, it won't change a damn thing that you explain him the reasons and all I think. I'm speaking for personal experience where a guy told me (recently) that he loved me and said the exact same thing as you said "I don't expect you to feel the same way, but I would be so happy if you do". He explained me what he liked in me and all. I felt terrible because I felt NOTHING .. and I can't force those things.
Quote:
Originally posted by eli's_rhythm
This is a tough one.
I'm not sure I would. I'd be too afraid of it not being reciprocated.
The only way I would is if I had total trust in who I was seeing. If I knew they were the kind of person who wouldn't really be bothered by it if it wasn't reciprocated.
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Can you believe that I never had mutual love in my life
Haha, but seriously yeah, it's always been others that love me but not me or the contrary..
Quote:
Originally posted by Chemist
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I love you chem 
Quote:
Originally posted by Ra2
If you feel it, you ought to express it. That's how I am. :X
I can't say that it always turned out great for me, but I always stand by how I feel and by what I think. I have certainly been the first person to say it. It was a big deal to me. I can't say that it brought to fruition of a bountiful romance, however.
Regardless, the next point I'd like to address is the, "What if the person in question does not reciprocate?"
That point is null and void. Love is audacious. Love is brave. Love is fearless. The biggest part about love is expressing it and making yourself vulnerable even when you're brain is telling you that you ought not to. Love is an unconditional gift that you give to another by surrendering your own human ego.
So, I think, if you truly feel that way, then you should let him know how you feel. You never know when your last moment will be and it is important to let people know that they matter to you. It is a magical thing, and it can make all the difference to someone.
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I was like that at first when I was younger (I'm 21 now). But after this one relationship where I loved this guy to death and it ended by him telling me that he doesn't feel the same way that I do, I wasn't the same in love. I've had few other stories that made me a little bit more scared toward love.
Love works in a dirty way 
Quote:
Originally posted by Ømega
If they tell me they love me in less than a week than iam breaking up with them. But i give it atleast a month+ before i say them words |
I've had many of those gosh
One guy told me he "loved me" after like 2 weeks. I was like "bitch...you don't love me..."
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Member Since: 3/4/2011
Posts: 3,981
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Today, we went to see a movie and we were holding hands during the movie and I felt such a powerful heat in my heart
I was sitting there and telling myself "omg is it really happenning to me"
I love the feeling but hate it at the same time, because now I'm hooked I think
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Member Since: 3/18/2011
Posts: 8,234
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Quote:
Originally posted by Fadicuss
Well, me too. I don't get attached for many guys...like I said the last time was 2 years ago. But, when it happen, it's kinda strong and fast
And many people are in relationships without even being in love. That's commun. I've had 2 boyfriends in the past but only really loved one of them.
LOL. Francisco <3 I know he's perfect
Yeah, to show it is more important IMO. Like I said, one guy told me once "I love you" and I responded "me too" without even meaning it. So it's not better..
But sometimes, you just feel like screaming your love to the entire world
I wouldn't say I'm the girl But it's always a nice feeling to have your man take a little bit control of those issues
The point is that if he doesn't feel it, it won't change a damn thing that you explain him the reasons and all I think. I'm speaking for personal experience where a guy told me (recently) that he loved me and said the exact same thing as you said "I don't expect you to feel the same way, but I would be so happy if you do". He explained me what he liked in me and all. I felt terrible because I felt NOTHING .. and I can't force those things.
Can you believe that I never had mutual love in my life
Haha, but seriously yeah, it's always been others that love me but not me or the contrary..
I love you chem
I was like that at first when I was younger (I'm 21 now). But after this one relationship where I loved this guy to death and it ended by him telling me that he doesn't feel the same way that I do, I wasn't the same in love. I've had few other stories that made me a little bit more scared toward love.
Love works in a dirty way
I've had many of those gosh
One guy told me he "loved me" after like 2 weeks. I was like "bitch...you don't love me..." |
Wow. That's so ironic. That's EXACTLY what happened with my ex-bf. 
It certainly has affected me, and the way I view love. However, it has only increased my desire to be so blunt about it. At the same time, again, however, I don't get attached to guys nearly as easily as a result of that. Therefore, I don't think I'd say that I loved someone until after we were in a relationship for a much longer time anyway. So I would hope by after a few months to a year after being in a relationship with someone that if I said I love you they wouldn't feel like we were on different wavelengths.
After that relationship in question, I become super promiscuous and ever since as soon as a guy shows romantic/relationship type interest, I tend to shy away and or run away completely. However, I don't think it's that I'm scared of love or anything. I think if anything it helped me realize that I wasn't quite ready to be in a relationship at that point in my life. Even now to this day, almost a year later, I still think that I couldn't really be in a relationship that was remotely serious (at least at first). So, to me, or in my case, I feel like the end result was positive after all, despite everything.
Good luck with everything, sis.
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Member Since: 10/27/2010
Posts: 3,113
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I have heard of a saying that goes like this : don't fall in love with the idea of being in love. Fall in love with the person instead! if you fall in love with the idea of being in love, you are doing it all wrong! you don't like the person at all then!
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Member Since: 11/11/2010
Posts: 1,569
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Hey today i said I love you to my bf for the first time, we've been dating almost 4 months lol and i meant it! Just takes time!
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Member Since: 3/4/2011
Posts: 3,981
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I also wouldn't want to become one of those couples who say "I love you" to their partner every seconds of the day
I know a couple like that - when I'm with them, they're always "love you" and kissing. The guy also posts on his facebook every place he goes "Going there with my love". I'm like "ew", that's too much.
I will never be like that. Too much is like not enough.
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Member Since: 2/23/2010
Posts: 4,577
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I did... But with my eyes closed
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