Discussion: Beyonce Stan Epiphany - Page 2

BnPac

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What I know today, that I didn't know 8 years ago is that there's a difference between a fan and an internet stan. Occasionally the two ideas overlap, but they can also conflict. I'm not saying that all Beyonce stans are bipolar, bandwagon-jumping chimps. I have met a lot of 2 really cool Beyonce fans in my lifetime. They were a very polite lesbian couple with brush cuts and homemade "B'Day" t-shirts. They sat one row ahead of me at the "I Am...Sausage Face" concert 2 years ago. They weren't members of any Beyonce fan clubs or websites, but they did wait outside the venue box office for 3 hours to buy front-row tickets. Full-time jobs and healthy sex lives kept them from spending 12 hours a day obsessing over every wig strand, eyelash, chart placement, and vein in Jay-Z's dick; but they were fans who supported Beyonce for her work and expected nothing more than good music and good entertainment. What I learned from the lesbians is the difference between fan and internet stan. Being a fan is an exercise in unconditional support. Being an internet stan is an exercise in vanity and e-validation. Fans are looking for music and updates; internet stans are looking for a ki and a retweet. You can be a popular internet stan and never legally buy any of your "favorite" artist's music. You can be a devoted fan and never register on a fan message board. For as long as I can remember it's always some attention-hungry superstan, with some lessor bitch's **** on his breath (claiming to be "here for Beyonce, and only Beyonce") who has the most to say. Meanwhile, devoted and rational fans like my lesbian pals remain quiet. To put it sharply, I learned very early that message boards would not be a testament to which fan is realer, but rather which fan is louder. Those intelligent discussions I thought I would be having rarely came to fruition. It was not about a fair exchange of rational opinions and factual information. It was a talking over each other and spilling second-hand tea which really wasn't tea, but random tidbits of information acquired from being a Twitter groupie. And then there the mood swings. I knew Beyonce had people who wanted her to fail, I just didn't know that they included some of her fans.

He went in.

Guero

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Meanwhile, Beyonce's boyfriend, elderly rap legend Jay-Z, was not quite as happy. He had also achieved massive success in the music industry, but he was anxious to settle down, put a ring on it, and have about 3-4 babies with big-ass lips and oddly-shaped heads. But Beyonce was not interested. She was just starting to build an iconic career and a business empire and every time Jay would schedule a time to get Beyonce pregnant she would push it back like a Christina Milian album.

It went something like this:

Jay: Hey, Beyonce it's 9PM, I thought we were going to try to have a baby tonight at 8?

Beyonce: Well, I was on my way to your house but I decided to stop in the studio to make an album. I promise as soon as I'm done making the album, shooting 30 videos, and going on tour, you can get me pregnant.

(5 months later.)

Jay: Hey, Beyonce am I still getting you pregnant tonight?

Beyonce: Well I was driving through the Checker's Drive Thru and I saw Kelly and Michelle working the window, and we started talking and one thing lead to another, and now we're in the studio making another Destiny's Child album. I promise, you can get me pregnant after the album, the re-release, the greatest hits, and 12-month world tour.

(12 months later)

Jay: Beyonce! Where are you?

Beyonce: Oh, I can't get pregnant right now, I'm shooting a movie.

Jay: How the **** are you shooting a movie? I sent you to the store for some milk.

Beyonce: Well, I was on my way to the store but I saw some people shooting a movie, and I said, "I wanna be in it", so I asked them and they just wrote me into the movie in 3 minutes. I promise you can get me pregnant after the movie.

Poor Jigga.