Member Since: 2/15/2010
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Local Targets Beef Up Security in Anticipation of 4
(Reuters) - Store managers and corporate executives amp security prior to 4 release.
In what has been called a "decision to prevent a frightening turn of events," local Targets across the country have contracted private security personnel in anticipation of the June 28th release of Beyoncé's new album, 4. Putting Keri Hilson, Lady Gaga, and Rihanna album shields up as pesticides, this is the first time a decision of this magnitude has been made surrounding an album release.
CEO of Target Corporation, Gregg Steinhafel, calls the decision a "monumental one" and stresses the importance of customer safety in the retail chain's stores.
"Customer safety is of our highest priority. We pride ourselves in consumer safety and will not let this release change that," said a stern Steinhafel.
You may recall last month Lady Gaga released her over-hyped Born This Way for the free 99 and nearly shut online retailer Amazon the **** down. The CEO says that will be the last thing to happen under his reign as he is dealing with a completely different fanbase - one with "common sense."
"Absolutely not. The bees are roofless. Our security will shoot a bitch if they try it next Tuesday. I don't need a piss-yellow wig to hit that home."
Antoine Dodson, a self-proclaimed "Beyoncé stan" has already started camping out for the album's release. With all 3 of Beyoncé's previous albums, a stereo set, a tooth brush, sodas, and Kelly Rowland's previous albums and booklets as toilet paper and coasters - Antoine is ready for release day.
"Well, OBVIOUSLY I am ready for the release," said Dodson with his tongue all out. "She puts my love on top!"
Three other fans were camped out as well. One was asked for his name, but kept changing it each time we asked. We shall just refer to him as Will.
Reports have surfaced from online sites that frequent bloggers J and Swag's Room have already been banned from prospective Targets in their area. Swag's Room, described as a "little ***** from the Chi who will cut a bitch" is perceived to be armed and extremely dangerous. His record includes multiple draggings and even a recent shooting a Target that was believed to have had the album.
He dared a bitch to skip and left the store with a promotional cutout for the album.
Jason of Beyoncé World Board declined to comment when asked.
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