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Discussion: Most hurtful thing anybody's ever said to you in real life?
Member Since: 5/4/2011
Posts: 20,807
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Actually, no, what a posted wasn't the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me.
About 7 months ago, I finally decided that I wanted to come out for being bi. And I thought I should tell the hardest person to tell first, and then everyone after that would be easier. So I told my Dad, and he already wasn't feeling well. I said to him "I'm bisexual". And then he didn't hear me so he said "What did you say?" (nicely). And then I repeated myself and his eyes widened with horror and he couldn't believe it. He tried to be as supportive as he could, saying "Its normal to be confused at your age" etc. And then at the end of the conversation I said to him "Thanks for not being really angry" (because he is homophobic) and then he said "Well I'm not saying that I'm not disappointed" and that pretty much killed me. And then because he wasn't feeling well, he fell asleep after the convo, while I went to my room and cried.
What makes things worse? Because Dad wasn't feeling well, he just regarded our convo as a bad dream, and never brought it up again. This means that I have to come out to him, again. After him saying that he is disappointed in me for being bi, I have never had the courage to talk to him about it again. 
Now a few of my closest friends know, but none of my family do. I am too petrified.
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Member Since: 8/22/2009
Posts: 50,646
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Quote:
Originally posted by HollywoodForever
It wasn't something someone said to me, but it was something I said/did that probably hurt the most. Back in January (of this year) I was going over to my boyfriends place to spend the night. I was of course drunk as usual. He also had a few of his friends over too for part of the night. Anyways, I had misplaced my phone and borrowed his to call mine to find it. I had accidentally called his sister instead... and when she asked me who I was.... I told her "I'm your brothers boyfriend." At that time his family didn't know he was gay.... and they didn't take the news very lightly either. I believe I hung up on her, and eventually gave up and decided to look for my phone in the morning... my next memory after that was laying on his couch. He came up to me and put a blanket over me, and the look on his face.... has haunted me for months. He was angry of course... but broke down when tell me he never wanted to see me again the next morning.
My best friend told me to not beat myself up over it, and that I wasn't myself that night.... and some good came out of it, and that I quit drinking. But, I don't think I will be able to forgive myself for along time. It goes against things I stand for - and that is outing people. Just the thought - that I could have been responible for him doing something wreckless like commiting suicide, or causing himself harm.... hasn't sat right. Even today.... it still stings that I ruined one of my best relationships.
I generally don't let things other people say about me bother me. But when my own actions cause someone else that I care about greatly terrible pain & suffering..... it destroys me just as much.
Sorry for the long essay. |
Oh My God. 
Damn it, were you in love with him?
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Member Since: 11/18/2010
Posts: 33,622
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Quote:
Originally posted by ManDown
You shouldn't blame yourself, though. He should have explained to you that he wasn't ready to come out to his family, and that you shouldn't mention it to them. It was an honest mistake, and if it upset him enough to where he didn't want to speak to you again, then it was his loss in the end.  No, I never spoke to the guy again. He wrote me a 10-page long text about how I was the biggest piece of **** and he wished all these bad things on me. It was so immature of him, but I still felt like it was my fault for several months. |
We actually did talk about it. He told me his family didn't ever need to know... the worst part is that I still see his brother almost weekly. I'll probably move on eventually... meet someone new.
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 8/8/2008
Posts: 21,933
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Quote:
Originally posted by RyanC
Been there...though that didn't make me hurtful it made me want to kill him.
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aww
It made me extremely depressed.
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ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 6/23/2008
Posts: 14,330
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A series of text messages I got from a friend of an ex-boyfriend.
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He's afraid you define yourself through him. He worries about you a lot. I think you are an amazing guy, and Brett is not for you. Knowing the both of you, I feel you two are looking for different things in life. Oddly, you were made more for me, too bad I'm the wrong gender. I love you both dearly and I don't want to see either of you hurt, but honestly, he wasn't meant for you. I hope you guys may remain friends, yet I know what that's like too. I know what it's hard, been there, done that, move on.
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This hurt me a lot. I was prepared to accept the fact that this guy and I were on different pages as far as our relationship went, but it hurt me a lot that his friend would text me to explain exactly why we were not compatible, yet he never gave me a solid explanation why we wouldn't work, and he certainly never went into this sort of detail as to why he was no longer interested in me. The part that hurt the most was the "been there done that, move on" bit. I had been with this guy for 2 years. It wasn't such a simple issue of "moving on". Several years later and I still have these text messages saved. I don't know why.
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Member Since: 5/22/2010
Posts: 9,633
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Quote:
Originally posted by KoreanDream
Did you ACTUALLY say that?  |
**** yeah, it really pissed me off. I wanted to report the guy to the management for discrimination. My mom didn't let me though, she just made a joke about it and made me feel better
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Member Since: 11/18/2010
Posts: 33,622
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Quote:
Originally posted by Đeucés
I hope he is doing better now. That is such a sad story. |
I ran into him just over a week ago on the streets.... he gave me the absolute dirtest look he could, so I assume he's still mad.
Quote:
Originally posted by satellites™
Oh My God.
Damn it, were you in love with him? |
Yes.... he was the first person I ever said "I love you" to, and actually meant it.
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 22,128
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Quote:
Originally posted by JungleDisturbia
Actually, no, what a posted wasn't the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me.
About 7 months ago, I finally decided that I wanted to come out for being bi. And I thought I should tell the hardest person to tell first, and then everyone after that would be easier. So I told my Dad, and he already wasn't feeling well. I said to him "I'm bisexual". And then he didn't hear me so he said "What did you say?" (nicely). And then I repeated myself and his eyes widened with horror and he couldn't believe it. He tried to be as supportive as he could, saying "Its normal to be confused at your age" etc. And then at the end of the conversation I said to him "Thanks for not being really angry" (because he is homophobic) and then he said "Well I'm not saying that I'm not disappointed" and that pretty much killed me. And then because he wasn't feeling well, he fell asleep after the convo, while I went to my room and cried.
What makes things worse? Because Dad wasn't feeling well, he just regarded our convo as a bad dream, and never brought it up again. This means that I have to come out to him, again. After him saying that he is disappointed in me for being bi, I have never had the courage to talk to him about it again.
Now a few of my closest friends know, but none of my family do. I am too petrified. |
Wow. I hope you can find the courage to take such a huge step. My prayers are with you. 
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Member Since: 8/7/2010
Posts: 5,351
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Quote:
Originally posted by Beyond Say
Girl yes. I was in a Black student Union meeting at school, the radio was on, and Single Ladies came on. One of the girls turned off the radio and was like "I can't stand this overrated, talentless, racoon looking braud.: And mind you she looked like Raspusa's long lost twin. I was highly offended.
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Make yo check come out they neck, disrespect us no they won't. DEAD at Raspusa's long lost twin.
Okay, so since this thread is pretty serious, I'll share one myself. One story I guess it's fair to share (I have a few but I don't want to put my father in a negative light, it's really intense with him) is when my CLOSEST friend who's a girl was texting me a few years back. She was talking about her boyfriend and how they were having troubles yet again. I was fed up with it, so I texted her "you should break up with him" or something to that effect. And this bitch had the nerve to go off about how I'm jealous of him taking her away from me and how I may have wanted him to myself, some things about how a guy would never want me as much as they wanted each other, and calling me out about how I haven't gotten "any" the whole year (BITCH ****ING PLEASE THO). It really hit me hard, considering the history, how close of a friend she was.
They ****ed that relationship up tho. YES that bitch is my friend to this day and she goes through ****** boyfriend by ****** boyfriend and I cackle a bit. I don't reply to the messages she sends as soon as she mentions a boyfriend, so she's kept that to a minimal. And I've successfully gotten with one of her ex-boyfriends (the others promise to me their straightness). 
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Member Since: 11/11/2010
Posts: 28,420
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Quote:
Originally posted by KoreanDream
I hate when people that are a certain gender get mistaken for another gender. Sometimes it's genuine but other times it's just idiocy. It's like, don't identify someone by their gender until THEY inform you of their gender.
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That bothers me so much, too. For a couple of years (well, up until last fall), I had long hair for a guy. Like, Rihanna's GGGB era hairstyles. And people would ALWAYS mistake me for a girl. I do have feminine features, but it still used to piss me off. I'd be shopping with my mom and the cashier would say something like, "Do you need help finding anything, ladies?".  But it quit bothering me last year, and then I ended up cutting my hair short anyway.
Quote:
Originally posted by HollywoodForever
We actually did talk about it. He told me his family didn't ever need to know... the worst part is that I still see his brother almost weekly. I'll probably move on eventually... meet someone new. |
Oh, really? It's still sad that he didn't feel the need to come out to his family and show you off to them. You need somebody who will gladly introduce you to their family as their boyfriend. It would be really hard seeing his brother alot. I really hope you find somebody.
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 22,128
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ahmed
**** yeah, it really pissed me off. I wanted to report the guy to the management for discrimination. My mom didn't let me though, she just made a joke about it and made me feel better
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Your parents were fine with that? I love them!
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Member Since: 11/11/2010
Posts: 28,420
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I wish we had more threads like this on ATRL. It really gives you a chance to see everybody's true colors, and not just the whole bitchy stan that you typically see everybody on ATRL as.
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Member Since: 6/14/2010
Posts: 1,370
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You guys shoul open another thread called
"Most joyful, proudful, grateful thing anybody's ever said you in real life?"
The one mine:
When my mom was about to die, and she told me that I was the better son on earth, and she tanked me to follow her all my way, and always been there for her.
and that i the thing that pumps up my life since that day 
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Member Since: 1/8/2011
Posts: 27,650
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i honestly cant think of anything that has really bothered me that much, i try to be friendly and funny with everyone. Just every now and then I get called a nerd, which sits on my mind and bothers me deeply every now and then. But in the end I'm the one with a 100 average and on my way to a great college and occupation, while they'll be working at McDonalds so I don't let it **** up with my head too much.
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 22,128
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Quote:
Originally posted by TakeItOff!
Make yo check come out they neck, disrespect us no they won't. DEAD at Raspusa's long lost twin.
Okay, so since this thread is pretty serious, I'll share one myself. One story I guess it's fair to share (I have a few but I don't want to put my father in a negative light, it's really intense with him) is when my CLOSEST friend who's a girl was texting me a few years back. She was talking about her boyfriend and how they were having troubles yet again. I was fed up with it, so I texted her "you should break up with him" or something to that effect. And this bitch had the nerve to go off about how I'm jealous of him taking her away from me and how I may have wanted him to myself, some things about how a guy would never want me as much as they wanted each other, and calling me out about how I haven't gotten "any" the whole year (BITCH ****ING PLEASE THO). It really hit me hard, considering the history, how close of a friend she was.
They ****ed that relationship up tho. YES that bitch is my friend to this day and she goes through ****** boyfriend by ****** boyfriend and I cackle a bit. I don't reply to the messages she sends as soon as she mentions a boyfriend, so she's kept that to a minimal. And I've successfully gotten with one of her ex-boyfriends (the others promise to me their straightness). |
You are such a mess. 
Quote:
Originally posted by ManDown
That bothers me so much, too. For a couple of years (well, up until last fall), I had long hair for a guy. Like, Rihanna's GGGB era hairstyles. And people would ALWAYS mistake me for a girl. I do have feminine features, but it still used to piss me off. I'd be shopping with my mom and the cashier would say something like, "Do you need help finding anything, ladies?". But it quit bothering me last year, and then I ended up cutting my hair short anyway. |
I HATE that! I had this friend who had long hair like this:
And whenever he and I would go places together, people would say "Hello ladies!" or "How may I help you ladies?" I wanted to slap them so badly because he didn't grow the balls to do it himself. 
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Member Since: 5/22/2010
Posts: 9,633
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Quote:
Originally posted by KoreanDream
Your parents were fine with that? I love them! |
Hahah they weren't the first time it happened. But around the 10th time we would just crack jokes about it.
I had a justin-bieber-ish hair cut, it was a bit shorter. and I guess they haven't seen a guy with that amount of hair on his head hahaha xD In the middle east they were so ****ing delusional that they actually treated me like a girl!
Once, I was going back to Yemen, where my dad works. Anyway, we are at the aiport security, and in the middle east, the guys go forward, and the females go to this room where they get searched by another women. Because of you know men aren't allowed to touch the women. So I am going to the guys section and this worker was like pushing me and pointing at the girls place... I swear to god I wanted to take my pants off right that second and go like "LOOK! PENIS!" hahah xD
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Member Since: 8/24/2008
Posts: 35,091
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Quote:
Originally posted by ManDown
I wish we had more threads like this on ATRL. It really gives you a chance to see everybody's true colors, and not just the whole bitchy stan that you typically see everybody on ATRL as. |
They opened up and let you see what's inside. Tell me sis how pink was it?
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Member Since: 5/4/2011
Posts: 20,807
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Quote:
Originally posted by KoreanDream
Wow. I hope you can find the courage to take such a huge step. My prayers are with you. |
Thankyou, I plan to come out to him again, but not just yet.
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Member Since: 6/7/2011
Posts: 22,128
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Quote:
Originally posted by ManDown
I wish we had more threads like this on ATRL. It really gives you a chance to see everybody's true colors, and not just the whole bitchy stan that you typically see everybody on ATRL as. |
Not to hark back to my time on ThatGrapeJuice, but we used to have discussions like this ALL the time. It was beautiful until stupid-ass stans took over that site. 
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Member Since: 11/5/2009
Posts: 8,096
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Quote:
Originally posted by ManDown
I wish we had more threads like this on ATRL. It really gives you a chance to see everybody's true colors, and not just the whole bitchy stan that you typically see everybody on ATRL as. |
I made one before, Coming Out Story, that thread was too much for me
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