It would be a drama/horror/suspense film. Think "Thirteen" meets "Hard Candy" meets "Jennifer's Body".

I would like Ellen Page to play me. She looks boyish enough to be me. And she's sarcastic, just like I am.

I would want it to be an independent film. I'm not here for a $200 million budget.

Sara Gilbert would play my mother (they look exactly like eachother). Damien Lewis would play my father. Melissa Joan Hart would play my sister. Rupert Grint (younger) would play my brother. John Goodman would play my stepfather. Bea Arthur and Rue McClanahan would play my grandmothers. The rest of the actors could be anybody random for all I care.