Member Since: 4/17/2011
Posts: 9,162
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No shade, but the is Hillarious:
Quote:
“Ow, my ****! Ow, my face! Ow, my ****! Ow, my face!”
~ Rihanna on Chris Brown
“Mm, I'd hit that... only in a sexual way though, not like that Chris Brown guy. Heavens no.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Rihanna
“Can't you see? She's a vampire! I was just defending myself.”
~ Chris Brown on Vampire hunting
“I love the way you lie.”
~ Rihanna on your "real" penis size.
Rihanna Anna Anna Aeyh, Aeyh, Aeyh, I got my ass beat with an umbrella is an POP singer, however she is primarily best known for her forehead. Rihanna's Forehead suffers gigantipithicus. Her gigantic forehead has it's own sole properties, as explained in its own article (yes, Rihanna's forehead is so large it has its own article!). She also has had more than 70 number one songs and is also known solely for getting the **** beaten out of her by her super hyperactive dancing boyfriend.
Facially resembling a giant, startled Easter Egg, Rihanna is singlehandedly responsible for irritating the **** out of every person in the entire world with her single "Umbrella". It's so irritating that whenever or wherever anybody hears the intro, an over bearing rage takes over to destroy the object of which the song is playing on. The song temporarily became a pop culture sensation among chavs and teen mothers everywhere.
Rihanna is also responsible for having the most copied haircut of that long-ago time, 2007.
Early Life
Rihanna was born in Barbados (This means she's barbaric). She attended special ed classes at Charles F. Broome Memorial School, then at 15 achieved her big break. A big black gorilla pedophile named Dr. Jason Zimmerman, or Jay-Z for short, attended one of the talent shows put on by the school. He had been searching the world for an underage stripper to perform in his secret experiment to see how many people he could corrupt. When he saw Rihanna perform Mariah Carey's lapdance, he knew he had found his singer. So he roguely stole her from Ronald and Monica and together they swam the Pacific Ocean and entered the United States illegally. Jay-Z then disguised himself as a streetwise music producer and started his own record label, Roc-A-Fella Records records. Rihanna was signed to the label and was a huge success. The two had been good friends, but once the fame got to her head, she ditched Jay-Z for her new Hollywood friends. And after Rihanna stopped returning his calls, texts, emails, IMs, and gifts made out of his own hair, he killed himself by eating too many bananas.
She WAS dating Chris Brown until he accidentally beat her in a huge fit of orgasm rivalling a wrestling match during passionate lovemaking in the back seat of Chris Brown's Lamborghini. So now, the two stars cannot be seen with each other.
At the age of 15 Rihanna wish to be a Caribou was granted. And now whenever she wants she can insert a quarter into her head and evolve into a Caribou.
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Read the Rest Here:
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Rihanna
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