You be the judge: Is "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" author Amy Chua a great mom or a terrible one?

When EW reviewed Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, we wrote that we thought there might be some, um, spirited debate. And it sure seems as though readers are reacting to this memoir about parenting in what Chua calls “the Chinese way”: Children must never make a grade lower than A. They may not have sleepovers or playdates, or watch TV or play computer games. They must focus exclusively on schoolwork and parent-selected extracurricular activities.

After her young children presented her with handmade birthday cards:

I gave the card back to Lulu. “I don’t want this,” I said. “I want a better one — one that you’ve put some thought and effort into. I have a special box, where I keep all my cards from you and Sophia, and this one can’t go in there.”

“What?” said Lulu in disbelief. I saw beads of sweat start to form on Jed’s forehead.

I grabbed the card again and flipped it over. I pulled out a pen from my purse and scrawled ‘Happy Birthday Lulu Whoopee!’ I added a big sour face. “What if I gave you this for your birthday Lulu- would you like that? But I would never do that, Lulu. No — I get you magicians and giant slides that cost me hundreds of dollars. I get you huge ice cream cakes shaped like penguins, and I spend half my salary on stupid sticker and erase party favors that everyone just throws away. I work so hard to give you good birthdays! I deserve better than this. So I reject this.” I threw the card back.

After her daughter’s beloved paternal grandmother Popo died, Chua insisted the girls write a short speech to read at the funeral. Both girls refused (“No please, Mommy, don’t make,” Sophia said tearfully. “I really don’t feel like it.”). Chua insisted.

Sophia’s first draft was terrible, rambling and superficial. Lulu’s wasn’t so great either, but I held my elder daughter to a higher standard. Perhaps because I was so upset myself, I lashed out at her. “How could you, Sophia?” I said viciously. “This is awful. It has no insight. It has no depth. It’s like a Hallmark Card — which Popo hated. You are so selfish. Popo loved you so much — and you — produce–this!”

So what do you guys think? Do you agree or disagree with Chua’s methods? And does all the controversy make you want to read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother?

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Also I found a comment from this site, and it just tore me apart. Here it is:

The whole "Tiger Mom" thing is not something that I do not disagree with but I also feel that done in a improper way will just lead to things like the comment you posted. Success is fantastic and all but that kind of parenting if not done correctly, just leaves the kid with repressed emotions and possibly psychological problems. I've seen a speaker talk about the importance of recognizing when a child needs help psychologically (the speech centered toward Asians, the Chinese more specifically) and I thought it was very effective in getting people to realize that a child's yearn for help shouldn't be ignored.

Personally, no. I don't think strict parenting is the way to go.
Obviously, you shouldn't spoil your children, but it's necessary to show children affection, and sometimes I think that by being too strict, you're holding up a wall that blocks your children from seeing the true love you have for them.
The last thing I would ever want is for a child of mine to come up to me and say that they didn't feel loved at some point by me.

Also, aside from that point, I've seen first hand that a lot of people with strict parents don't turn out any better than children with parents that blatantly showed their love with affection and gifts. Not necessarily spoiled, but a good child should be rewarded. A child should be taught responsibility and core values, but prohibiting them from living a free life isn't the way to go. Children should be appreciated, and feel that way.
And that's my opinion.

Your second post is truly heart breaking and a real eye opener for those who value someone's accomplishments more than they actually value the person.

That bitch would hate me if I was her child. NO PLAYDATES, Bitch please *walks outs the house*

I feel like that type of parenting would lead me towards rebellion and doing what I want when I want....

I think through having her parenting criticized she's changing her tune. I can see what she's aiming for and she's not wrong in everything, but she seems to have been driving her children too hard in a lot of things.

You have to realize that the book was tongue-in-cheek and funny.

I come from a family similar to Chua's, and when I read "Children must never make a grade lower than A. They may not have sleepovers or playdates, or watch TV or play computer games. They must focus exclusively on schoolwork and parent-selected extracurricular activities." I thought it was hilarious, because she was poking fun at how Tiger Moms act. And she's said in multiple interviews that that was her intention! The book is about her journey as a mother, and by the end of the book she changes her parenting style.

I can definitely see this in her interview. It's difficult to understand what the book is about when all we see is people criticizing her, but she has grown and it's fully apparent.