He's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about TakeItOff. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and TakeItOff was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Kyle, he'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "TakeItOff, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. Thise were gonna be girls thise in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? He was a LESBIAN. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at him, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall for high school, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he's on crack.
I'd like to apologize for just telling everybody our little secret.
