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Discussion: Dr. ATRL - On Break!
Member Since: 11/10/2009
Posts: 19,215
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Hi.Def, I agree with what Eli says. If you find that you aren't sexually involved with a woman later down the road, you could always marry a best friend of yours and let it happen. A lot of people find that marriages with their best friends are successful.
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Member Since: 10/18/2009
Posts: 18,756
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hi.Ðefinitiøn
*Sighs*
Alright, here goes. As Cookie stated earlier he isn't attracted to men and wants a family. I'm the exact same way except for lack of interest in men. I'm obviously attracted to men since I'm with one and have sex with one.
Now my problem is that I really want a family. I've always wanted a family. I'm bisexual, but I've always had a plan to eventually get married to a woman and have several kids. Years ago I had made this plan that I would never fall romantically for another man, I'd simply just use them for sexual purposes, and after several years of toying with them I'd eventually settle down with a woman and have kids.
My plans have backfired. Fast forward a few years later I met the guy I'm with now. I've been with him for over 2 years and I really love him. Now you see my problem. None of this was part of my plan. I didn't take this situation into equation. As far as marriage is concerned, ugh. I can obviously have still kids, but I want my own biological children. I don't want to adopt, and I don't want to give my sperm away to some random woman. I want to have kids with a woman I truly love and admire.
IDK what the **** to do.
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sis dont try to plan the future because it will never gawn go the same way that you want it to. sis you are soo in love wit this man. you should enjoy every second you have with him because i have a feeling that you might end up breaking up with him because of this reason eventhough ur falling head over heel for him. it sounds like a GAY LOVE STORY! soo sad  its soo unpredictable. it will either end up with a HAPPY FAITRYTALE ISH ENDING or TRAGIC like ROMEO n JULIET
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Member Since: 6/4/2010
Posts: 38,919
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Quote:
Originally posted by deemy
About what you just posted.  |
Oh, okay. 
Quote:
Originally posted by ashuduff
Have you talked to him about it?
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Absolutely not, it would break his heart. I'd never want to upset him like that. I'll probably just suppress the fact it'll never happen and deal with it.
It's really been bothering me for a long time to, that and other things. I've actually been depressed for a while now, but I put on a smile and keep it moving. I'm a realist, so I just see things for what they are and deal with it.
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Member Since: 9/21/2010
Posts: 29,122
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
I saw him naked before. It looks good.
The boxers are tight-fitting. 
Stop it, you're making me nervous! |
Im only preparing you for the challenge ahead dear.
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Member Since: 10/5/2006
Posts: 9,829
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Quote:
Originally posted by eli's_rhythm
If you do end up staying with him, just have a gay family. Blood connection won't mean much when you raise kids from infancy. They'll still be your kids and you'll still fall madly in love with being their father.
I wouldn't give up on true love just to have a nuclear family if I were bi. You'd be so lucky to find another you feel this way about.
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So true. It honestly doesn't matter that your kids may not have your DNA because you'll be their father no matter what.
And here's a hug Drais (I think that's your name?) 
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ATRL Senior Member
Member Since: 6/15/2007
Posts: 29,795
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hi.Ðefinitiøn
Thx.
I've had girlfriends in the past and I have female friends now who are attractive, but I'm not trying to get them pregnant and marry them or anything, lol. I can't do that. It has to be someone I meet, develop a strong mental and physical bond with, and fall in love with.
It may never happen though. Ashduff is right, I need to stop planning my life.
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He is right, don't plan your life. Things happen so unexpectedly that your just blindsided.
Even though you don't like the idea of adoption maybe still consider it. You want a family, so why not share your love with others who are without it.
I do see your dilemma though and understand where your coming from
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Member Since: 6/7/2009
Posts: 15,638
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hi.Ðefinitiøn
*Sighs*
Alright, here goes. As Cookie stated earlier he isn't attracted to men and wants a family. I'm the exact same way except for lack of interest in men. I'm obviously attracted to men since I'm with one and have sex with one.
Now my problem is that I really want a family. I've always wanted a family. I'm bisexual, but I've always had a plan to eventually get married to a woman and have several kids. Years ago I had made this plan that I would never fall romantically for another man, I'd simply just use them for sexual purposes, and after several years of toying with them I'd eventually settle down with a woman and have kids.
My plans have backfired. Fast forward a few years later I met the guy I'm with now. I've been with him for over 2 years and I really love him. Now you see my problem. None of this was part of my plan. I didn't take this situation into equation. As far as marriage is concerned, ugh. I can obviously have still kids, but I want my own biological children. I don't want to adopt, and I don't want to give my sperm away to some random woman. I want to have kids with a woman I truly love and admire.
IDK what the **** to do.
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This is.........tear-jerking.
I completely understand you. I've been thinking the same thing lately but I guess we have to see what happens and let life do its work.
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Member Since: 6/4/2010
Posts: 38,919
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Quote:
Originally posted by eli's_rhythm
If you do end up staying with him, just have a gay family. Blood connection won't mean much when you raise kids from infancy. They'll still be your kids and you'll still fall madly in love with being their father.
I wouldn't give up on true love just to have a nuclear family if I were bi. You'd be so lucky to find another you feel this way about.
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I suppose so, but it just drives me crazy. I wouldn't mind adopting, but I'd still want own biological children. It's seriously something I just HAVE to have.
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Member Since: 11/10/2009
Posts: 19,215
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Crank your relationship with this dude is intense!  How did you manage to see him naked?
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Member Since: 5/23/2010
Posts: 29,856
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hi.Ðefinitiøn
*Sighs*
Alright, here goes. As Cookie stated earlier he isn't attracted to men and wants a family. I'm the exact same way except for lack of interest in men. I'm obviously attracted to men since I'm with one and have sex with one.
Now my problem is that I really want a family. I've always wanted a family. I'm bisexual, but I've always had a plan to eventually get married to a woman and have several kids. Years ago I had made this plan that I would never fall romantically for another man, I'd simply just use them for sexual purposes, and after several years of toying with them I'd eventually settle down with a woman and have kids.
My plans have backfired. Fast forward a few years later I met the guy I'm with now. I've been with him for over 2 years and I really love him. Now you see my problem. None of this was part of my plan. I didn't take this situation into equation. As far as marriage is concerned, ugh. I can obviously have still kids, but I want my own biological children. I don't want to adopt, and I don't want to give my sperm away to some random woman. I want to have kids with a woman I truly love and admire.
IDK what the **** to do.
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Damn.
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Member Since: 10/18/2009
Posts: 18,756
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
I'm kinda worried of what would happen if I actually did go for it. Maybe I would ruin my life, he would just murder me (he's muscular as hell) and might tell everybody that I'm gay and then everybody wouldn't hang around with me anymore or even talk to me. I won't want to risk it. |
sis this is soo difficult. maybe u should just go for the FEMMY QUEEN instead! :toofunny2. do you really like him, or do you just find him attractive n wanna have fun with him?
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Member Since: 10/5/2006
Posts: 9,829
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hi.Ðefinitiøn
I suppose so, but it just drives me crazy. I wouldn't mind adopting, but I'd still want own biological children. It's seriously something I just HAVE to have.
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That's the 21-year-old you speaking. The 31-year-old you might feel very differently after Baby Giselle is born.
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Member Since: 2/9/2008
Posts: 32,819
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
I wasn't in my underwear. He was in his underwear.  |
OK, how did you get away with cuddling while he was in HIS underwear then? In front of other people? lmao. Did they think it was a joke or something?
Are you fem? Are you out to anyone?
Quote:
Originally posted by BTrisc0392
Hi.Def, I agree with what Eli says. If you find that you aren't sexually involved with a woman later down the road, you could always marry a best friend of yours and let it happen. A lot of people find that marriages with their best friends are successful.
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I said that?
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Member Since: 6/4/2010
Posts: 38,919
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Quote:
Originally posted by BTrisc0392
Hi.Def, I agree with what Eli says. If you find that you aren't sexually involved with a woman later down the road, you could always marry a best friend of yours and let it happen. A lot of people find that marriages with their best friends are successful.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Matty
He is right, don't plan your life. Things happen so unexpectedly that your just blindsided.
Even though you don't like the idea of adoption maybe still consider it. You want a family, so why not share your love with others who are without it.
I do see your dilemma though and understand where your coming from
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
This is.........tear-jerking.
I completely understand you. I've been thinking the same thing lately but I guess we have to see what happens and let life do its work.
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Ugh, you all are being so helping right now. It's seriously making me feel a lot better. I should go with the flow and not let it bother me so much.
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Member Since: 6/7/2009
Posts: 15,638
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Quote:
Originally posted by BTrisc0392
Crank your relationship with this dude is intense! How did you manage to see him naked? |
Gym class. 
He likes to show it off. He always take the booth where I can have the full view of everything. I refuse to shower because I know I will get a boner. 
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ATRL Contributor
Member Since: 6/17/2009
Posts: 7,828
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
I'm kinda worried of what would happen if I actually did go for it. Maybe I would ruin my life, he would just murder me (he's muscular as hell) and might tell everybody that I'm gay and then everybody wouldn't hang around with me anymore or even talk to me. I won't want to risk it. |
Bo just take the cake!! Take the plunge!! If you get caught just play it off with confidence!
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Member Since: 9/21/2010
Posts: 29,122
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Quote:
Originally posted by Crank_It_Up
Gym class.
He likes to show it off. He always take the booth where I can have the full view of everything. I refuse to shower because I know I will get a boner. |
Tsk Tsk
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Member Since: 6/4/2010
Posts: 38,919
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Quote:
Originally posted by ashuduff
And here's a hug Drais (I think that's your name?) |
Quote:
Originally posted by XoEarlyMorningoX
Damn. |
I know, ugh. 
This is a big problem for me, but maybe I'm also using it as a crutch not to completely committ to my relationship. IDK.
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Member Since: 6/7/2009
Posts: 15,638
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Quote:
Originally posted by khlovess
sis this is soo difficult. maybe u should just go for the FEMMY QUEEN instead! :toofunny2. do you really like him, or do you just find him attractive n wanna have fun with him?
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That's why I'm so confused!
Sis no way I'll go for the femmy queen. 
Well, I'm not sure but he turns me on. He can be sensitive and tough at the same time.
But sometimes when we get to the point of our intensity, he refers to insulting me so I would back off. Ugh. So confusing.
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Member Since: 6/4/2010
Posts: 38,919
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Quote:
Originally posted by ashuduff
That's the 21-year-old you speaking. The 31-year-old you might feel very differently after Baby Giselle is born.
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Right? IDK how I might I feel then, or a year from now.
I just don't know.
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