To close off the Adele Live 2016 arena tour, Adele did the following things tonight:
- Cried alone in the dark
- Met ex-cheerleaders Dave and Debbie on their 39th anniversary
- Questioned Debbie's trust of Arizonians
- Discussed her love of "Teen Mum", specifically referencing one of their kids, Bentley
- Once again suggested going to an event you don't want to is as a prime way to get laid
- Announced her kid has been dressed exclusively as cowboy since they were in Texas
- Bit her cheek last night to the point where a flap of skin is hanging into her mouth, she assured people she wasn't chewing gum, just her face
- Declared her hate of the Hello jacket, and her original ideas to use a Range Rover and iPhone in the video
- Plans to shift her focus from the rain and set fire to her onstage chair, of which her ass now hung off 8-9 inches rather than 3-4 because she got lazy
- Received a shirt from an audience member covered in her own face, expressed concern that she'd get her hair (it's not a weave) caught in her fan Beyoncé-style while literally lying on the ground to put it on, wore the shirt for MYA, afterward offered to give it back to them because it smells like her now, then had to assure the person it smells good, but ultimately it was decided it would end up in a box in her attic, she doesn't have the ego to wear it
- Referred to the level of tears she was at while being inspired to write MYA as "conjunctivitis", before saying she can "shine a ****" for inspiration in general
- Realized she's slowly becoming her mother
- Dragged the entire male majority of her band, Simon, and her four-year-old son for smelling bad
- Was briefly concerned she was alienating her male fans with the aforementioned comment, but then decided she doesn't care because almost all of her fans are female
- Made me lose all guilt for any weird stanning I have ever done while discussing her "obsession" with Alison, to the point of following her into bathrooms - she made it clear though she did not enter the individual stall, she did not see "anything" of Alison while she relieved herself
- At this point, she requested white wine in lieu of hot honey
- Realized this was a bad idea and asked for hot honey as well
- Only drank the wine
- Confirmed motherhood has made her a lightweight by quickly falling into singing much more than a line of Drunk in Love
- Gave a "**** you" to everyone who thought she couldn't complete the tour, said she's had an amazing time, is now looking forward to just being mum for a little while
- Has decided she wants to have a daughter because her 4-year-old son "doesn’t want to kiss me anymore, he thinks my breath stinks even when it doesn’t", she's insulted by this and questions the audience if girls are "cuddly" and will thus remedy (see what I did there... ha) her current maternal situation... the response was affirmative
- Apologized to the parents of the children she'd be swearing in front of before admitting her that her son does everything she does and thus already swears at her, his phrase of choice is "bloody bumhead" (him already dragging her harder than us yesterday
)
- Dropped some info above having a "really important meeting" before the show
- Served a nice throwback by quoting the same line from Call Your Girlfriend as she did in her BB Artist of the Year interview in 2011 in reference to SLY
- Also gave us our favorite, usual dose of "real life/disappearing" extra before SLY
- Literally sobbed during SLY, it sounded like a 21 performance but you know she's not in the same place, it was incredible
- Stopped WWWY to thank her band, then passed out red solo cups and poured them champagne (she stuck with her white wine because "acid reflux")
- After noticing she had extra champagne, gave the rest to Dave and Debbie, then realized she ran out of cups, so told them they'd just have to swig it out of the bottle
- Butchered a note on WWWY so started over a second time
- Finished the show with "I’ll see you later! I’ll see you on the other side, it’s gonna be a ****ing million years but I’ll be back! And you won’t be able to get rid of me (<< imagine her slurring that last bit, the wine was hardcore kicking in by this point). Take me down, I’m gonna go and have a baby. *commence grinding-esque motion down lift*"
Some fans bought tickets to Adelaide Cricket match instead of Adele's show.