My whole existence in a non-event and would be no matter how hard I tried to change that, so that's why I don't bother.

You can get anything in life you want, you just got to be willing to hustle for it sometimes...also lose that defeatist attitude.

Yeah, every single day.

As corny as it sounds, you really should just live everyday as if it's your last. Don't avoid opportunities to go out and be spontaneous. You never know what or who you'll run into.

All the time.

Before yes but now I'm finally figuring myself out and knowing what I want to do. However the whole process seems to be slow. Maybe it's the days or something

Off-topic but I just can't wait to go to uni next year. Be far away from this town, the people etc.

Always

It's called depression, my friend.

yes

No, because I don't need validation by others in the form of love & I have goals in life. I'm sorry sis but your behaviour will get you nowhere (I've been in your shoes). Getting (professional) help is something everyone should do with that state of mind.

yes, constantly

No, I have a purpose, I have something to wake up every morning and even if it's hard af and even if sometimes I don't feel like doing anything I remember what is my ''dream'' so I always have something to do

Yes but I also don't really try. maybe it's all depression

No im constantly evolving and pushing myself

Yup always

I never allow myself to have those sort of thought patterns.

My life is a damn mess. Like it's going fine, but I'm also a mess.

Life is weird

Yes. That's why I post here.