You may ask, "Why "Boy Problems"?" Why not the melodramatic and booming independence anthem, "When I Needed You"? Why not the coy optimism of "Let's Get Lost"? Why not the soft, yearning ballad that is "All That"? While it is "Run Away With Me" that is on its way to being considered one of the best and one of the defining pop songs of the decade, I think the saccharine charm of "Boy Problems" trumps it entirely.
On the surface, one could dismiss "Boy Problems" as being a song written juvenilely, pandering to the young target demographic that regularly consumes sugar-coated pop music. However, much like a lot of the songs on the album, "Boy Problems" and its seemingly simplistic, arguably almost basic lyrics convey much more than is said, without having to say it. (The best example of this would probably be the album's lead single "I Really Like You", often unfairly criticised for its lyrics, especially its hook, however its nuances and subtle references give us more detail without having to overexplain.)
An example of this lyrical subtlety is shown when we consider that E•MO•TION, as an album, draws influence from the 1980s. Examining the lyrics of the first verse, we see:
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"If you're gonna go, then go,"
She says to me on the phone.
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It's 2016 and I can't remember the last time I called a friend on the phone just to talk. I don't remember the last time any of my friends called me on the phone just to talk. The idea of a telephone conversation, with no set objective or no defined, desired outcome, is considerably a somewhat archaic concept, and while this detail may appear mundane in the grand scheme of things, it's one of the best instances of a nuance that make the album truly echo sentiments and customs of being young in the 1980s. Furthermore, in the first verse, the friend's apathy to the drama in Carly's love life echoes the fickleness of being young and in love; one minute, Carly is saying she'll go, the next Carly is saying she'll stay, and the friend is getting pretty tired of this. It's playful, charming, and we even forget that Carly is almost thirty years old at this point; this song is not intended to be considered contemporaneous with the album's release. The youthful charm of the song is further shown by calling the drama in Carly's love life "boy problems", reducing it to a juvenile, insignificant misstep, something minor in the grand scheme of things in the same way one would say "car trouble", for example. It's nothing serious, and it's potentially being blown out of proportion.
An often-ignored feature of the song is its subtle expression of female unity and sisterhood. Aside from the friend in question being a "she", meaning Carly is running to her closest sister for advice every time something bad happens in her relationship, the sugary chorus and its anthemic question-and-answer hook of "Boy problems, who's got 'em? I've got 'em too" allows us to relate to Carly as we, sure enough, have all experienced boy problems at some point, as boys are a notoriously terrible species. We can look at the middle eight for this, specifically:
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What's worse?
Losing your lover, or losing your best friend?
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This shows us that Carly values the importance of sisterhood and friendship, as it is clear that it has come down to an ultimatum from the friend: either break up and move on from him, or stop telling her about it.
Carly finds independence and emancipates herself from this relationship she did not enjoy, and is clearly all the better for it. Earlier, it is alluded to that she often brings trouble unto herself by being her own saboteur and not nipping issues in the bud, allowing problems to build and build until everything comes crashing down on her and she appears to be incapable of moving past it or looking towards a brighter point in time.
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"It could be the perfect day,
You'll just make it rain anyway"
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The value of this independence and freedom is something that needs to be learned, and Carly can only do it once she stops allowing herself to continue being in situations where she is unhappy; so she does. She breaks up with her boyfriend, and she is happier for it, and "[doesn't] really care", because she's "got worse problems". She matures, recognises the insignificance of this boy that is taking her for a fool, leaves him in the dust, and moves on to a better, happier life with her friends and herself.
So, while one could initially dismiss the seemingly immature bubblegum-pop ode to turbulent teenage love that is "Boy Problems", there is, undoubtedly, more meaning hidden beneath its simplicity and playfulness that satisfies both a sweet tooth, and a listener wanting something deeper. It's not just a happy, fun break-up anthem; it's a smart piece of pop lyricism that perfectly conveys the '80s charm so many albums of recent memory have failed to achieve. You just have to listen out for it, because I'm so tired of hearin' "Boy Problems" criticism.
