Discussion: Texts From Last Night

Beatfreak

http://textsfromlastnight.com/

Have you guys ever gone to this site or signed up? All the texts are ****ing hilarious.

And if you know what I'm talking about, what's your favorite text posted there?

Swaggie

I remember this from last year, most of them were dirty.

Яeo.

What is this exactly?

Beatfreak

It's a website like FML or My Life is Average. TFLN is where people submit dirty (but hilarious) text messages their friends sent them from a party, drinking, etc.

Gui Blackout

This is cool

*sending one*

Swaggie

I remember my fav was this one about a guy at disney world hooking up with Minnie Mouse and one about a guy scoring with his teacher.

Gui Blackout

Quote:

i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

Quote:

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

Gui Blackout

This too good

Quote:

-I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

-and?

-RIP ****oris

Quote:

-Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

-Two?

-Two

Quote:

I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad

Beatfreak

Quote:

(303): No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

Quote:

(610): can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?

(917): what kind of party is this?

(610): the best kind ever

Quote:

(778): i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.

ExclamationMarks

I Love This site

Quote:

so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

Quote:

First off: I'm drunk so **** you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: **** 3 Doors Down

Quote:

Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again

Quote:

The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.

Quote:

(212):

i want you now
(916):

you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

Quote:

wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"

migaruler

Quote:

i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.

Swaggie

This is the best site ever!

Skeleton Boy

I send ****ed up texts when I'm drunk

sometimes I delete my sentbox so i don't have to read them in the morning

Swaggie

(215):
i got kicked out of Barns and Noble cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

Beatfreak

I CAN'T!!!!

Quote:

(816): Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got **** blocked by the universe

Quote:

(903): The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.

ExclamationMarks

Quote:

Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.

Quote:

you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

Quote:

(212):

ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his **** tonight. aren't you proud?
(1-212):

this is Aaron, hi

Quote:

(905):

Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905):

With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.

Quote:

(319):

On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
(316):

Toaster

Quote:

(314):

doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
(504):

I'm out of practice. be my yoda
(314):

put your penis in her you must.

Quote:

I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite